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Sunday, March 5, 2006
Grandma was no dope
What's your prescription for handling a houseful of children?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have often wondered how my grandmother handled six boys when I can barely get through the grocery store with my two kids. I finally found out her secret – she DRUGGED them!
I discovered this information when my daughter was prescribed Paragoric for a nasty stomach virus. Her pediatrician, who was literally my pediatrician and is at least in his 70s now, said it would calm her and help stop the diarrhea.
What my old-school doctor didn’t mention, and what I found out from the pharmacist, is the medicine is rarely given anymore because it’s an opiate! It used to be sold over-the-counter, but people started abusing it so they made it prescription only.
When I mentioned the drug to my mother, she immediately recognized the name and said, “Oh yes, Grandmother Walsh used to give it to the boys all the time.â€? I was shocked, but things started to add up. A sleep-inducing drug that my now-deceased grandmother could get at any corner drugstore — no wonder she wasn’t ripping her hair out.
One-by-one I asked my uncles if they remembered the medicine. Each one recalled fondly (I guess so!) grandmother dosing them liberally. If they complained about an earache, a stomach ache, a headache, my grandmother would give them a spoonful of this magic remedy.
Moms today don’t even like giving Tylenol unless the child has a raging fever. We would never do that.
Or would we?
I mentioned this story to a woman at my church last summer. She has four kids and also had an old-school pediatrician. She told me that her pediatrician advised her to keep a bottle of Paragoric in her medicine cabinet so she could give it to the children whenever SHE needed a good night’s sleep.
What! I was shocked again, but I guess I shouldn’t judge until I have four kids.
I’ve always wanted a lot of children. I only have one brother, and I have always thought we were pretty boring. I am fascinated by my father’s large family and the flurry of activity six boys must have created in their Savannah home.
The effects of my father’s many siblings can still be seen today. He is very possessive of his underwear because the boys had to share a community underwear drawer. He’s also a little grabby at dinnertime still trying to make sure he gets his fair share. And even though my father has already lost three of his brothers, he still has two to love and support him. They are witnesses to his childhood and often reminisce about growing up together.
I watch parents with large families closely. I’m always trying to figure out how they manage and if we could do it too.
As I watch them, I wonder if the economic law of diminishing returns applies to children. We learned in college that one or two Krispy Kremes do you just right but three or four will make you feel sick. Is there a point where just like doughnuts you can have too many kids? Is there a point where the children don’t get the attention they deserve, and the parents don’t get the time off they need? How do you know where that point is?
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