DEL.ICIO.USMENTAL HEALTH
This year’s holiday stress amplified by economy
“People aren’t sure they’re going to have a home, let alone have a holiday dinner.”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Andrea Philpotts-Davison isn’t shopping for gifts this holiday season; She’s shopping for her livelihood.
Her family’s income took an 80 percent dive when the former auditor was laid off last year, and she has yet to land another position. Her husband, Malcolm, works as a corrections officer and her oldest son, Elijah, works after school at Kroger to supplement family expenses.
ANDREA PHILPOTTS-DAVISON/Special
Andrea Philpotts-Davison, pictured with son Elijah, husband Malcolm and Malcolm Jr, celebrates Christmas 2006, the family’s ‘last good Christmas’ before she was laid off, she said.
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“When you’re worried about stuff getting turned off and keeping a roof over your head, toys become unimportant,” said Philpotts-Davison, a Sandy Springs resident who also has a 5-year-old son, Malcolm III. “We’re just trying to stay alive. We’re in survival of the fittest mode.”
Philpotts-Davison is not alone, as more people are facing financial challenges this year due to job losses, foreclosures and economic uncertainty. Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Metro Atlanta reports it conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions through October, up from more than 58,000 all of last year.
The tough economy forces many families to make tough decisions about the holidays. To shore up their budgets, many Atlantans are scaling down their plans by staying at home instead of traveling, buying fewer, less expensive gifts, and forgoing elaborate festivities for a more modest holiday celebration.
“People aren’t sure they’re going to have a home, let alone have a holiday dinner, ” said Ellyn Jeager, director of public policy and advocacy at Mental Health of America’s Georgia office. She warns that such financial pressures can escalate the stress of an already hectic season and take a toll on people emotionally and physically.
Facing the holidays with limited resources makes people feel more vulnerable and isolated, added Pamela Schuble, chief operating officer of Behavioral Health Link, which operates the Georgia Crisis and Access Line. The help line receives about 30,000 calls a year. The number of calls declines around holidays (a fact attributed to intervention of family and community organizations), but increase in severity, with more people feeling desperate and suicidal. Twenty-five percent of calls in October were people in severe crisis.
It’s important to set realistic goals about what you can and cannot afford and stick to it, Jeager advised.
Tighten the belts
That’s exactly what Michael Thomas and his family are doing.
With annual college expenditures totaling more than $12,000 for each of their two daughters, Thomas and his wife, Lynn, have tightened their belts even more during the holidays. For Thanksgiving, Lynn Thomas and their youngest daughter flew to Philadelphia to visit family and were met there by their older daughter, who rode the train down from New York. Mr. Thomas stayed behind in Atlanta.
“Two airline tickets are cheaper than three,” said the advertising account executive, who ate Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant with friends. The Thomases will gather in Atlanta for Christmas, buy gifts only for immediate family and extend yuletide expressions through greeting cards sent to relatives and friends.
“All of us are in the same boat,” said Thomas, who said he has no qualms about his budgeting decisions. “Times are just different now.”
In the current economic climate, people should be prudent about buying gifts without pressure or obligation, and focus more on spending time together, suggested Quentin Ted Smith, a clinical psychiatry professor at Morehouse School of Medicine.
“It’s OK to feel a sense of guilt that you can’t do more, but it’s more of an issue for you than the recipient,” he said.
Address the issues
In addition to emotional and physical tolls such as fatigue, headaches and feelings of anxiety, financial stress can threaten family relationships. Financial woes place greater strain on family relationships as frazzled nerves and tight wallets yield increased tension, short fuses and hurt feelings. Food and fellowship can quickly erupt into feuding and even fisticuffs when holiday gatherings reignite unresolved issues.
“Just because you’re family doesn’t mean you’re sitting around hugging each other,” said Jeager. Television commercials depicting happy families gathered around the banquet-sized feast and expressing warm sentiments make for good TV, she said, but it is not the reality most families experience.
Her advice: Address issues head on. If someone’s smoking bothers you, tell them. Avoid topics that cause controversy and, realizing that this year is different, set different expectations. Be creative and figure out a new way to celebrate, such as potluck or a buffet instead of a banquet spread. Instead of inviting everyone to one home for dinner together, consider an open-house setting where people come and go freely or a drop-in where people just stop by for dessert or coffee.
“This is a good year to change the tradition if it’s not working for everybody,” Jeager said.
Preserving some traditions
But if sticking with tradition works, then don’t try to fix what’s not broken.
The union of Page and Dan Walden 38 years ago launched a tradition of celebrating the holidays at home. As the couple’s two children matured, married and had their own babies, the family continued congregating at the Walden home or one of their children’s homes.
The family shares responsibilities as each of the 10 members brings a dish and helps with cleanup. Page Walden shops for the grandkids online to avoid the crowds.
The fellowship with her children, their spouses and the couple’s four grandchildren embodies the holiday season and comforts Walden as she battles breast cancer that has spread to her liver.
“Our family tries to remember what Christmas is all about,” said Walden, 61, and happy to be alive. “It’s about remembering what’s important — family and relationships.”
SIGNS OF STRESS
• Feeling angry, irritable or easily frustrated
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Change in eating habits
• Problems concentrating
• Feeling nervous or anxious
• Trouble sleeping
• Problems with memory
• Feeling burned out from work
• Feeling that you can’t overcome difficulties in your life
• Having trouble functioning in your job or personal life
If you’re having any of these symptoms, try adopting healthy practices: exercising and connecting to people close to you. If feelings persist or escalate, consider contacting your health care provider.
