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Thursday, April 26, 2007
REEEEEGE Returns!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Lose a cranky morning show host one day. Gain a cranky talk show host the next day.
Regis Philbin just made his triumphant return to “Live with Regis & Kelly,” six weeks “and one day” (as he repeatedly pointed out) after undergoing heart bypass surgery, and 22 hours after news broke that Rosie O’Donnell was quitting “The View.” And if anyone feared that Regis’s surgery would make him too, well heartfelt, he immediately put their minds at ease.
Walking arm-in-arm with co-host Kelly Ripa into the balloons and streamer-festooned studio, Philbin gave the on-its-feet audience his patented old man’s crabby “You kids get off my lawn” dismissive wave: “Yes, all right, Regis is here,” he said several times, a little later adding, “Leave me alone!”
Right off the bat, his first joke picked up on his constant theme of how underappreciated he is. Saying that the newspapers were all obsessing over his return, he held up a couple of New York tabloids with — who else? — Rosie splashed all over their front pages. He got in jabs at fellow patients who came out of their own rooms whenever they heard he was walking the hospital halls — “‘How are you feeling, Regis,’” he mimicked them. “I’m dying, how do you think I feel!” — and at his perennial whipping boy, “Live” executive producer Michael Gelman. Informed by Ripa that there was an unbelievable special surprise upcoming, Philbin sighed heavily, “Knowing Gelman, it’ll be coffee and a piece of cake for all of us.”
(We interrupt this blog to bring you a breaking news report. Some 20-plus minutes into the show, WSB-TV interrupted “Live” with the breaking news that three current or former Atlanta police officers had been indicted in connection with the fatal shooting of 92-year-old Kathryn Johnston. You’ve got to admire this commitment to actual news in the Age of Anna Nicole TV, but you also couldn’t help thinking that if anyone’s triumphant return was going to be interrupted, of course it would be Regis’s.)
OK, back to our regularly schedule blog. The show was full of big moments starting with the very first guest: David Letterman, who can barely stand to do his own TV show, let alone anyone else’s. He was simply returning a favor. Regis was Letterman’s first guest when the late-night host returned from his own bypass surgery seven years ago, and after some heartfelt best wishes, he offered Philbin this recovery tip: “Stay away from ‘The View,’ cuz they’re dropping like flies.”
We learned a few other things about Reege’s operation and recovery: He reluctantly had 24-hour security in the hospital (“People are sicker than I am there. Who’s going to come in and bother me?”); he finally started watching “American Idol” and Sanjaya was his favorite (coming back from one commercial break, Sanajay appeared on the Times Square jumbotron with a “Welcome back, Regis” message); among the celebs he got gifts from were Renee Zellwegger, Ringo Starr and Halle Berry, who sent him a bathrobe.
Throughout the show, Ripa kept teasing an amazing unexpected surprise. Part of the Serf (the wicked part) desperately hoped Kathie Lee would come walking onstage, still nattering on about Cody and Cassidy as if she’d never left. But the nicer part of me realized that that would probably be so terrifying, Regis would collapse onstage clutching his heart.
The surprise turned out to be an all-male dance troupe, “The Dancing Regi.” They were no great shakes. But really, what could compare to just seeing Philbin back where he belonged, in his chair, complaining and namedropping (he’s been giving advice to Joe Torre on the Yankees woes)? While everyone’s talking about what Rosie will do next and who might replace her, it occurred to me that Thursday’s show proved that Regis really is the irreplaceable one. He’s actually a treasure. A cranky old treasure.
Dang, where’d a heartfelt thought like that come from … ?
