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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
“Dancing with the Surprises”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Wow, that was close.
It came down to the lady who dances with a prosthetic leg … And the man who has no such similarly good excuse.
I know Heather Mills fell down during Monday night’s “Dancing with the Stars” performance. Still, you coulda knocked ME over with a feather Tuesday night when she wound up in the bottom two on the elimination show. The judges had been so — how shall I put this? — generous, with their scoring and compliments after her tumble that I figured she was safer than a mullet hairdo as a fashion choice at a Billy Ray Cyrus concert.
But first, likely cellar-dweller John Ratzenberger was cleared through to next week’s round, then the lead-footed Cyrus. And suddenly you had to wonder what was up in the Who’s Down sweepstakes.
The answer: Mills and Clyde Drexler, who’s performed every dance with the same self-aware awkwardness as a groom who’s taken just enough lessons to make it through the first waltz at his wedding reception. It seemed highly unlikely that Mills, who’s won over many with her chipper derring-do attitude in spite of her physical obstacle, would be the one to go. Then again, it seemed highly unlikely that Paul McCartney would’ve married her a few years ago. And we all know how that’s turned out.
Anyway, Drexler got the boot. No huge surprise, really, given his subterranean scores from the judges Monday. And the 6-foot-7 ex-NBA superstar proved himself a big man in every sense of the word, delivering a goodbye speech that was a thing of beauty in every way he never was on the dance floor.
So, goodbye Clyde the Glide. And welcome back Heather the Lucky. But you’d better up your game. Remember, hell has no fury like Beatles fans scorned. And with telephones they can use to dial in tons of votes for Billy Ray over you …
