Home > Channel Serf > Archives > 2007 > April > 02 > Entry

Throw the Bum Out!

OK, I’ll admit it. What I know about ballroom dancing could fill Fred Astaire’s, er, shoe. And my dazzling show biz career began and ended with a starring role in “The Wizard’s Christmas” in fourth grade (my mother was willing to make the cape).

But I do know goofy when I see it. And (to quote the title of the song Heather Mills jived to on “Dancing with the Stars” Monday night), Can I get a witness? Joey Fatone took the Goofiness Cake.

DO cry for us, Argentina. Do not ask me to explain what Mr. ex-‘N Sync was thinking by appearing on “Dancing” in a Jedi warrior cloak and flailing a light saber around his poor partner’s head as they performed the … tango. The world’s most romantic, passionate dance, and all I could think of was that geeky guy on my high school AV squad who couldn’t find time to change his clothes for weeks, but COULD find time to see “Star Wars” something like 160 times.

The judges clearly all want parts in the next big George Lucas flick … er, what I mean to say is, the judges clearly saw something in it I didn’t, as they rewarded Joey and his Princess Leia-channeling partner with the night’s top score (actually, they finished in a tie with three other couples). Maybe they were blinded by the size of his rear end, which didn’t look so bad to me, but which the pros apparently found quite offensive:

Judge Len Goodman: “Your bum sticks out a bit.” Judge Bruno Tonioli: “Be careful sometimes with your bum.” Me: “But you had NO problem with a grown man bringing R2D2 to his rehearsal session?!”

Sigh. More and more it looks like Fatone and Mills are the top contenders, especially since the Serf’s personal favorites, Apolo Anton Ohno and Laila Ali, both admitted they didn’t practice enough and finished in the middle of the pack. As for Mills, the Almost Former Mrs. Paul not only performed a very credible jive, but she also needed to get a new prosthetic foot just so she could pull it off (the dance, not the foot, you sillies). Seriously, how can you beat that?

Hopefully not with your goofy bum sticking out.

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Comments

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By Charlotte from Atlanta

April 2, 2007 11:19 PM | Link to this

you nailed that critique. I couldn’t believe anyone thought the tango to Star Wars music was okay… I think Randy Jackson from Idol would say, “it just didn’t do it for me dog.” That back flip by Heather got the majority of my votes, had to give Apollo a couple, Leeza got 1 and Billy Ray got 1 … Ian got a couple, and our boxer got 1… looking forward to next week…

By Karen

April 3, 2007 8:20 AM | Link to this

I love Apolo. He is my absolute favorite - such personality. I didn’t care for Joey’s Star Wars dance, AT ALL. I think Heather is doing an AMAZING job….absolutely amazing, but she’s not my favorite…

By Suzee

April 3, 2007 8:26 AM | Link to this

Heather Mills has to go. Her scoring is based on the one leg factor. If she had two, what kind of scores would she have gotten with that routine? She looked clumsy. I too think Apolo is absolutely adorable and that guy can dance. Joey wasn’t so bad if you take out the Star Wars references and just look at the actual tango.

By Mike

April 3, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this

I agree with Suzee, Heather is staying because of her leg. Just like last year, Jerry Springer was kept around so long because of who he is, not his dancing skills. I’m really not impressed with anyone this time around.

By Erica

April 3, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

I really liked Joey’s Star Wars Dance. It was entertaining not some boring Tango. They put a twist to it. But I agree Heather is only there because of her leg. Ian is my Favorite!! I think he’ll go far!

By Erica

April 3, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

I really liked Joey’s Star Wars Dance. It was entertaining not some boring Tango. They put a twist to it. But I agree Heather is only there because of her leg. Ian is my Favorite!! I think he’ll go far!

By lovelyliz

April 3, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Who’s pushing to keep Shandi? She’s a beautiful woman, but even my 10 year old niece thinks she’s the worst dancer out of the group.

By Anna

April 3, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this

I have to say that Joey’s tango was pretty good, but I would have loved to seen it with a more traditional musical piece. The Tango is such a romantic dance and it was ruined with the Star Wars music. I also agree that Heather is getting points based on her artifical leg. She is doing a great job and pulling in the votes to keep her around but it’ll catch up sooner or later.

By Suzee

April 3, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Does anyone else think that Leeza looks like she is in slow motion when she dances?

By kay

April 3, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Billie Ray has to go! For a singer - he has NO rhythm and dances like he’s tied to a board.

By DanceLove

April 3, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

Leeza does look like she is moving in slow motion. I can’t stand watching her. I love Ali - that girl can move! Shandi’s only move is to shimmy her cleavage around - that’s not the kind of dancing this show is about!

By June

April 3, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

Heather is clumsy and shows no natural rythm but she does well with only one leg. She should have been the first to go as far as talent and not kept as a sympathy vote.

I agree - Ali is something!

By Pink Lady

April 3, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Loved Heather. Hated the Star Wars dance.

By lovelyliz

April 3, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

Heather is less wooden with her prosthetic leg than Shandi is with two real ones.

For what it matters though, Ms Ali is probably the only female star with a serious chance of winning.

By Graham

April 3, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

I agree with many of you. I think Heather is getting the sympathy vote because of her leg. All of the ladies should have had the option of wearing flat shoes. The judges said she would not get any special treatment, but I think she is receiving special treatment. Also, why would the judges penalize Lali because of the rules of not separting during the tango. The dancers do not choreograph the routines, they simply do the dance as it is taught by the professional dancers.

By kks

April 3, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

OK, Shandi is boring, but Leeza is truly pitiful….I knnow she’s doing the 50 thing but Paulina was far better. Apollo is really the most naturally talented and Leila is quite good. Heather is also naturally talented it is not just about her one leg. Joey is not bad but this week the Star Wars thing was going too far. Ian is one to watch too. Personally I think Apollo should win.

By nd5678

April 3, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Except for Apolo I think the whole lot of them are very ho-hum. He’s a great entertainer! And I agree, Leeza has to go.

By nd5678

April 3, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Except for Apolo I think the whole lot of them are very ho-hum. He’s a great entertainer! And I agree, Leeza has to go.

By Sun

April 3, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this

I cannot BELIEVE how generous the judges are to Leeza and her partner! God, she is very S-L-O-W and wooden, and yet they praised her to death last night. I thought Appolo and his partner were terrific, making only one mistake at the very end, and they got lower marks. WTF!

By Dancer

April 3, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

Apollo was really bad last night (the older guy was more entertaining than he was). Heather, in my opinion, does really well with her one leg. Surely better than Shandi and Leeza. Ali, Ian and Joey are good so far. They should do well on future shows.

By Dsmooth

April 3, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

Ian is my top vote getter… he’s doing the doggoned thing!

By Sherlon

April 3, 2007 6:48 PM | Link to this

Ian and Cheryl Burke are the best - by far. They can really go, and Cheryl has proven that by winning the past contest. She can go!!!! My favorite Pro!!!

By Sherlon

April 3, 2007 6:48 PM | Link to this

Ian and Cheryl Burke are the best - by far. They can really go, and Cheryl has proven that by winning the past contests. She can go!!!! My favorite Pro!!!

By Fan of the Glide...

April 3, 2007 9:39 PM | Link to this

Aw, come on — you’ve gotta love The Glide! No votes for the big man? He’s got to stick around a few more weeks.

By Fan of the Glide...

April 3, 2007 9:41 PM | Link to this

Your vote’s gotta be for The Glide, baby! Keep Clyde a few more weeks, please. We’ve GOT to see what the big man can do out there.

By j.t.

April 4, 2007 8:52 AM | Link to this

Watching the show alone…I was embarrassed for Fatone using that music…BUT the horrible light saber and tacky high school-esque Star Wars aspect of the dance aside…the dance itself was great! He and his partner were locked at the hips and that IS what none of the others did.

Fatone was great and Heather Mills stunned. But I really think the high mark of the evening was the even goofier Ian Zierling. He looked like one of the professional male dancers as he did his version of the jive.

By lovelyliz

April 4, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

Shandi was never my favorite, but she tried and did get better. I have to give her that.

As far as the costumes & music - YUCK. For this I blame the producers. Did you see the extras last night? It was way to cheesy, contemporary and clearly picked to appeal to that 18-24 demographic who isn’t the least bit interested in ballroom dancing.

I would like to see more classic ballroom dancing. Isn’t that what this show is supposed to be about?

 

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