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Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Low I.Q. in High-Def
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Q: Are you smarter than a fifth grader? A: Clearly not, if you’re reading this blog.
Oh, come on now, the Serf’s just kidding! She’s well aware that the folks who regularly read her random ramblings on the noble art of television are all rocket scientists and the kind of people who have to downsize their vocabulary simply to be understood at Mensa meetings. Which is why you’ll doubtless have absolutely no interest in Fox’s newest programming gambit:
It’s a quiz show called “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” and it is specifically NOT meant to measure intelligence. Quite the opposite in fact. It is — and here I am quoting directly from the press release issued by the Network Big Cheeses, because clearly I am not smart enough to make up something like this — designed “to test adults’ lack of knowledge.”
[At this point I feel compelled to emphasize that this is the Fox broadcasting network of “Joe Millionaire” and “Temptation Island” fame, not the Fox News cable network of Geraldo Rivera and Bill O’Reilly fame. People often get the two mixed up, but I think it’s important to distinguish between the network that wants to know how smart its viewers are, and the one that doesn’t].
OK, back to our show. Created by “Survivor” guru Mark Burnett, “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” aims at elevating contestants’ sense of self-esteem by putting them back in a classroom setting and quizzing them on the sorts of things it was essential to know in elementary school: Things like where Mount Rushmore is located, the names of all five Great Lakes, what’s on the governor’s Sonny Do list, etc., etc. OK, I made that last one up, but all the rest are bona fide questions that promise to crop up on this exciting show.
The series debuts on Tuesday, Feb. 27 and runs for six episodes. Typically for Fox, they almost all air on different nights or at different times from any of the other episodes, so good luck to any of you who want to find them. I only have a Master’s degree, so figuring out Fox’s scheduling strategy obviously is way beyond me.
There’s no word on how they decide who wins on this show or what they get for their efforts. Maybe they get to take home the rest of the class’s papier mache model of Plymouth Rock, or become the newest “American Idol” judge. Personally, I think just knowing that you’re the adult with the biggest “lack of knowledge” should be reward enough.
But that still doesn’t tell us how dumb the people watching are. Oh wait, yes it does …
