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Friday, January 26, 2007
Super Bowl o’ Sobbing
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There’s Super Bowl counterprogramming, and then there’s Super Bowl counterprogramming …
Actually, it’s the big game’s always bloated, sometimes controversial, usually “is that it?” halftime show that’s being targeted by the least likely of suspects — Hallmark Channel.
Yes, that’s right, the soft-focus cable network of apple blossoms, angel’s wings and happy endings has thrown its perky bonnet into the ring by coming up with a half-hour show that it will air during halftime of the game being played on CBS. And much as the Indianapolis Colts will rely on a Peyton Manning-led air attack to try and win the Super Bowl, Hallmark is going with its strength:
Tears. Comercially-induced ones.
Hallmark’s “Whole Lotta Love—Full Contact Edition” will consist of the best ever commercials for Hallmark Cards and Hallmark Hall of Fame movies. You know exactly the sort of thing we’re talking about: little boys rolling on the floor with newborn puppies, great-grannys being feted on their hundredth birthday, soldiers unexpectedly calling home at Christmas time … ack!, the Serf is tearing up already just thinking about it. Oh, my yes, she’ll be watching! And she suspects a whole lotta manly Super Bowl party hosts who’ll SAY they’re going out to the garage to tap a new keg will actually be sneaking off to an out-of-the-way bedroom to steal a tearful peek at Hallmark on the old black-and-white TV.
Speaking of which … just when you think things couldn’t get more mushy and retro, comes late word from Hallmark of who’s signed on to host “Whole Lotta Love” — Mr. Engelbert Humperdinck!
Last seen warbling his hits like “Release Me” and “Winter World of Love” around 1968, the poor man’s Tom Jones (and by “poor man’s,” we mean his tuxedo pants were loose enough that he could actually breathe) is, Hallmark says, “synonymous with love.” Why they didn’t just call him “groovy” or “superfly” is beyond us, but no matter. You can watch Prince (the performer on CBS’s halftime show) anytime, but if you miss Whole Lotta Humperdinck and Happiness, well, don’t come crying to us later.
We’ll be all cried out.
