We warned you.
Maybe you thought we were kidding a few months back when we told you that Hallmark Channel would start airing Christmas movies four days before Halloween — and keep right on airing them straight through New Year’s Day.
It had to be a mistake, right? No way one cable channel would turn itself over to snow scenes and nonstop tinsel talk when it’s still 85 degrees outside and they haven’t even played the The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party yet.
Turns out it was a mistake. In fact, two cable channels will start airing Christmas movies four days before Halloween — and keep right on airing them straight through New Year’s Day.
Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, which is essentially Hallmark Channel’s older and slightly more serious sister network (hence the daily “Murder She Wrote” reruns), kicks off the holiday overabundance starting at 10 p.m. on Oct. 28 when it airs “The Christmas Shepherd,” starring Teri Polo. At the same time, Hallmark will show “My Summer Prince,” which, despite what the title says, climaxes with a Christmas ball held in a castle at one of those made-up royal countries that cable movies are so fond of.
After that it’s nonstop holiday flicks for the next 64 days (three more than last year), with only the rarest exceptions to throw in a “Garage Sale Mystery” movie rerun here on HMM and a “Home and Family” chat show episode there on HC. But color us totally unsurprised if the former features holiday scenes as part of the plot and the latter has the stars of Hallmark’s newest holiday movies on as guests.
Indeed, there’s so many moviesabout to come at you that both networks have posted videos on their web sites helping you figure out what’s what, where and why. Perennial stars of these movies like Danica McKellar and Alicia Witt inform you that if you want “festive romantic comedies,” then Hallmark Channel and the franchise it’s dubbed “Countdown to Christmas” is the place to park your eyeballs for the next two-plus months. If it’s “dramatic stories and timeless holiday favorites,” you crave then head over to “The Most Wonderful Movies of Christmas 2016” on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. (Of course, if you have picture-in-picture, you could watch both at the same time. Just sayin’.)
In truth, Hallmark should just dub this holiday movie marathon the gift that keeps on giving. Last year’s “Countdown to Christmas” attracted a whopping 80 million viewers.