Holidays a double whammy for ‘spending addicts’

He sat quietly in the circle, until the end, when the hourlong meeting was drawing to a close. Then he made the first public confession of his financial troubles.

“My name is John,” he said. “This is my first experience at Debtors Anonymous. The pressure of debt and what to do next has been overwhelming.”

John, 41, described the breadth of his plight — $47,000 in debt — to a support group that meets each week in a Sandy Springs church. In this Christmas season, it was a relief to be among people who understood.

“To be honest with you,” he said, pausing, “thoughts of suicide have been there.”

The holidays have been especially stressful for millions of Americans who have been laid off from jobs or have been forced to severely cut back during hard times. For compulsive spenders such as John, times are even tougher.

He has owned a landscaping company for eight years. Business was first stung last year by the drought and then this year by a dismal economy. When people start cutting corners, he said, the first to go is the yard guy.

But John didn’t give up his own suburban middle-class lifestyle. He kept buying and running up his credit cards. Financial strain contributed to a divorce. His former wife kept their house but stopped making mortgage payments. As many as 20 creditors call John every day to collect what he owes them.

“I got sucked into the American dream. Buy now, pay later,” he said. “You get to a point where you don’t want to deal with it.”

Like alcoholism or gambling, compulsive spending is an addiction that can be difficult to quit, maybe even harder because society encourages buying.

You can live without a cocktail, but you can’t function without spending money. So there’s no going cold turkey.

April Lane Benson, a psychologist who treats compulsive buyers and has written books on the topic, said for addicts, shopping isn’t necessarily about buying, but being. They buy things to feel good about themselves. Later, they can feel enormous guilt or shame for their behavior.

Sonja, 29, draws a schoolteacher’s paycheck but gave in to an unstoppable urge to buy Louis Vuitton bags and Tiffany jewelry, courtesy of a diamond rewards MasterCard. Spending made her feel powerful, wealthy.

In one shopping spree, she charged $900 worth of clothing at American Apparel.

“It was really, bad, but I felt like a celebrity,” she said.

She felt uplifted as store clerks fawned all over her. She knew she should have returned most of it, but she didn’t want anyone to think she could not afford to buy clothes.

Nancy Ridgway, an associate professor of marketing at the University of Richmond, published a study earlier this month in the Journal of Consumer Research that suggests at least 9 million and perhaps as many as 16 million Americans are addicted to shopping.

Ridgway’s research was conducted in 2005.

“Now, you can imagine that things are even worse,” she said.

According to the consumer information Web site Credit.com, total American debt has increased 85.4 percent in the past decade while revolving debt (generally credit cards) has risen by 71 percent.

The average amount of household credit card debt is between $2,500 and $10,000, said John Ulzheimer, the Atlanta-based president of consumer education for Credit.com. Compulsive buyers often exceed that.

Psychologists first identified compulsive buying in 1914, but it was recognized as a disorder only recently. The American Psychiatric Association is considering listing compulsive buying in the next edition of its diagnostic manual.

Benson said compulsive buying, just like other addictions, can impair or even destroy a person’s life.

Compulsive buyers come from all walks of life and spend money unnecessarily for a variety of reasons, whether it’s to soothe moods or to feel in control. Some therapists believe it’s a symptom of depression and other emotional problems. Others say it may be caused by a biochemical imbalance.

Benson said the holiday season can be a situational trigger, especially this year when slumping sales prompted retailers to aggressively lure customers with massive price reductions even before Christmas was over.

Seventy-five percent off, screamed ads for many department stores. Plus take an extra 20 percent off with a coupon. Buy a four-piece luggage set for $80, a toaster oven for $25, a sweater for $10.

“The prices are so low, people get blinded,” Benson said.

Sonja is avoiding the malls for that very reason.

“I’ve been struggling,” she said.

She bought a $74,000 house in Stone Mountain with a subprime loan at

9.8 percent. She took out a personal loan of $10,000 to help pay her bills. In summer 2007, she walked onto the lot of a car dealership and impulsively bought a sporty Toyota Celica. She piggybacked the remainder of her loan for an old Corolla onto her new note. Suddenly, she was $19,000 deeper in debt.

“It was the craziest thing I had done,” she said. “It was like getting high. It felt really, really good.”

When she realized her folly, she called a suicide hotline and was reminded that it was reserved for life-threatening situations.

“But this is an emergency,” she pleaded. That’s when she was referred to Debtors Anonymous, which holds meetings at four locations every week in the metro area.

She cut up her MasterCard and is now on a monthly get-out-of-debt plan of $3,000, which is $153 less than what she makes teaching and at an additional part-time job. But she still can’t help spending that extra money and has no savings at all.

Sonja said she was terrified about not being able to use her credit card anymore. These days, she gets her high at the grocery store.

“I love shopping at Whole Foods. My pulse starts racing,” she said. “I know I will always be this way.”

John, the compulsive buyer who attended his first Debtors Anonymous meeting last week, listened as the 12 steps to recovery were read out loud. He knows them well — he’s been in recovery for drug addiction for 19 years.

He said he used drugs, then shopping to fill a spiritual void in his life. He sought gratification from obtaining things.

Now he finds himself struggling to conquer debt, just as he did drugs. He knows the temptation will be difficult to resist, especially this week as the sales are bigger than ever.