Dayton Daily News education reporter Scott Elliott writes about schools, kids, teaching and learning.
Home > Blogs > Get on the Bus > Archives > 2005 > December > 10 > Entry
Canceling a prom near you?
Back in October, I wrote about how the principal of a Long Island Catholic high school was so fed up with parents providing booze, limos and extravagant after parties that he canceled the prom.
Today’s New York Times has a story that says a second Catholic high school on Long Island has now also canceled its prom, leading some to wonder if a backlash against the prom has begun.
Back in October, the Chicago Tribune editorial board called for a national discussion about prom excess in response to the Long Island controversy. Experts, as you can read in the Times story, are now weighing in as to whether canceling the prom will make a difference. Some say it’s a bold counter-culture stand for reason and morality. Others say it’s a head in the sand approach, reminiscent of the failed “just say no” anti-drug campaign of the 1980s.
The prom is a particularly interesting venue for this discussion, as it is a treasured American tradition for which parents are very sentimental. It’s a right of passage, one that I think moms and dads have a hard time keeping in perspective.
I was a seminar a couple of years ago about high school reform which featured a panel of experts who offered some radical ideas about how high school might look in the future. One speaker proposed ending high school in 10th grade and allowing students to choose how to proceed from several options — work experience, study abroad, go straight to college, community service, etc.
It was actually a very interesting idea, but I jokingly asked the panel how this theoretical high school was going to win football games and hold a prom without seniors?
As the journalists in the audience laughed, I noticed not one panelist cracked a smile. Finally, one leaned into the microphone and said, “Honestly, that is our biggest problem. We can’t get parents to accept the idea that high school should be radically different. So many of the PARENTS can’t let go of their dreams of Suzy in her prom dress and Bobby as captain of the football team.”
Even if a high school in the future could guarantee a better education and better life chances for our kids, how many parents would pick that option if it meant giving up interscholastic sports and the prom?
One expert in the Times story, family studies professor William Doherty of the University of Minnesota, I think has the problem nailed:
“It’s not that a whole generation of parents is crazy,” Dr. Doherty said. “It’s that there is a subset of parents who are crazy - and the rest don’t want their kids to miss out.”
Most parents are sentimental about their own prom experience. They want to share that rite of passage with their children. When a few wacky parents go over the edge, the pressure builds to go along and not let your kid be the one who is left out. This is how the prom has become a $1 billion industry.
Somehow, the prom has to be put back into perspective. I’m not sure if canceling it is the best way. But perhaps the Tribune is right that it may take a couple bold principals to get parents everywhere to think about how far over the edge they’ve gone.
Permalink | Comments (3) | Categories: The Parent-Teacher Divide
Comments
By Jennifer
April 12, 2006 2:03 PM | Link to this
Cancelling prom is a stupid idea. It’s a tradition. Most kids are staying in high school just so they can go to prom. If these kids don’t have a reason to stay, then about half will most likely drop out.By superdestroyer
December 13, 2005 2:39 PM | Link to this
Proms and other social events are anachronistic. They are left over from a time when schools were not diverse, America was more rural, and kids had fewer experiences. Now many kids have been to Europe before their prom. The problem with killing sports with that it kills the marching band, trainers, drill team, etc along with it. One of the problem with sports is that adults have all of responsibilities the athletes but there is another group learning things like sports medicine, sports management, music, operational management along the way.By Mary
December 10, 2005 1:10 PM | Link to this
After the Columbine incident, I recall hearing about a survey that said roughly 50% of adults considered their high school years to be a neutral or negative experience. The point related to this topic, schools have sort of operated on a misconception that the overall impact of things like prom are welcome and positive for students. I question the assumption. Also, what are the percentages and demographics of students who show up for proms. I would imagine cancelling prom would be a relief for most students. I agree somewhat with the Bill Gates quote that high schools as we know them are obselete. A few years back, the Atlanta Journal had an outstanding editorial written by a teacher about proms and the real purpose of schools when some really pushy parents tried to organize a dance for elementary school students. He seemed to blame the situation mostly on parents. I blame schools and parents.