Honestly, Pink’s “Whataya Want From Me?” is such a perfect retort to the kerfuffle that it’s becoming harder and harder to believe the whole thing wasn’t orchestrated. At least Lambert’s vocals were good. And if that didn’t sway you, “The Early Show” trotted the singer’s mom out onstage. to support him.

Awwww.

Check out the video, below, and tell us what you think — does this change your mind about Lambert or his “AMA” appearance?

“Idol” returns Tuesday, January 12.

Series star Ryan Buell is going on a 10-city tour that hits Austin on Dec. 5.

At the tour stops, fans can share tales of their own paranormal experiences. The stories will be featured at www.paranormalstatetour.com and could become part of future episodes of “Paranormal State.”

In Austin, the “Paranormal State” tour bus will be at the west entrance of Highland Mall (facing Airport Boulevard) from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Dec. 5.

As they like to say on SNL’s Weekend Update these days, “really?”

Put aside for a moment that the song, “For Your Entertainment,” was horrible (and is that what you really want to call your tune? You know you’re just begging for the kind of short-retort review “Spinal Tap” got for their fictional “Shark Sandwich” album, right?) and that the vocals were screechy and bad; I think there’s more than a little homophobia involved in the outrage over the performance, including the 1,500 plus complaints ABC received.

Much of the uproar focuses on two segments of the cartoon-goofy, S&M-themed, bad-dinner-theater-ish presentation: Lambert’s open-mouthed kissing of a male backing musician and brief, simulated oral sex with a male dancer.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not defending the posturing Lambert, who prowled around the stage looking like the love child of young Elvis and old Boy George (while acting like the spawn of David Lee Roth and the Marquis de Sade). But the insinuation that this number was offensive to straight America completely glosses over the point that this performance should have been offensive to everybody.

There were a number of half-naked, hyper-sexualized women pawing Lambert throughout the number, too. Where’s the outrage over that? One scantily-clad, orgasmically-writhing dancer was working two, count ‘em, two stripper poles — Miley Cyrus, were you watching? I think you just got served.

Call me a prude: I’m glad my kids weren’t watching … but not because of the “gay” stuff. None of the overtly sexual aspects of last night’s American Music Awards was appropriate for an ABC show to which most viewers probably tuned in order to see Taylor Swift make an acceptance speech or three without being interrupted by Kanye West.

The true shame of the whole debacle is that Lambert, who more or less wholesomely and playfully batted at sexual identity issues during his “American Idol” run (occasionally pulling off some tasteful and impressive vocal gymnastics and igniting many thoughtful discussions about gender), probably turned off a lot of his own fans last night. At the very least, I’m certain he alienated any fence-sitters he was beginning to win over. Because his song — filled with lyrical challenges to conventionality and promises/threats of shocking behavior (Lambert seems about as threatening as a kitten) — just seemed so calculated and … desperate.

I guess the real question is how many CDs it helps him to sell.

The New York Times media blog reports that veteran journalist and PBS mainstay Bill Moyers will retire from weekly television in April, 2010. Moyers currently hosts “Bill Moyers Journal,” an issue-oriented public affairs program.

The article says Moyers plans to continue in television, but has no post-“Journal” projects planned.

“Now on PBS,” which Moyers originally hosted, will also end in April.

‘Trauma’ 8 p.m., NBC: Nancy has reservations about seeing her family for Thanksgiving. That’s probably good — you usually need reservations on holidays.

‘CSI: Miami’ 9 p.m., CBS: Tonight, jellyfish are used as weapons. Guns don’t kill people — sushi kills people.

Tuesday:
‘Dancing with the Stars’ 8 p.m., ABC: A winner is announced, the season ends and a whole lot of feet go into cool, soothing buckets of ice water.

‘NCIS: Los Angeles’ 8 p.m., CBS: Abby alert! Pauley Perrette does the crossover thing.

‘The Good Wife’ 9 p.m., CBS: It’s never a good day when your incarcerated politician husband’s mistress is appearing on Chelsea Handler’s show. I’m just sayin’.

Wednesday:
‘Biggest Loser: Where Are They Now?’ 7 p.m., NBC: Did anybody check the refrigerator?

Thursday:
‘Charlie Brown Thanksgiving’ 7 p.m., ABC: Charlie plays host while Snoopy whips up ice cream, popcorn and toast. What, no peanuts?

‘Beyonce: I Am … Yours’ 8 p.m., ABC: Okay, cool. Just wait here a minute, I have to go tell my wife. What? It’s a concert with backstage clips? Oh, never mind.

‘Paul McCartney: Good Evening New York City’ 9 p.m., ABC: At first I thought it said ‘New Jack City,’ which really would have made this an entirely different show. Macca returns to Flushing, New York, 44 years after the Beatles played Shea Stadium. Get back, indeed.

‘Idol Stars: Where Are They Now?’ 9 p.m., TVGN: Did anybody check the basement?

Friday:
‘Ice Age 2: The Meltdown’ 7 p.m., FOX: Wow, that ice age was short! Give this movie a shot. It’s really not as bad as it sounds.

Saturday:
‘The National Tree’ 7 p.m., Hallmark: Father and son Andrew McCarthy and Evan Williams kill an emotionally meaningful spruce and take it to Washington, D.C. where it’ll be the national Christmas tree. This movie really could be as bad as it sounds.

Sunday:
‘Food Network Challenge’ 7 p.m., Food Network: Pastry chefs create gigantic gingerbread houses. We’re talking 6-feet tall. This gives a whole new meaning to eating one’s self out of house and home.

‘Soul Train Awards’ 8 p.m., BET: Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson try to keep the 22nd annual awards on track.

And there’s already a twist to the new season: The longtime Wednesday night mainstay for ABC is moving to Tuesdays at 8 p.m.

The series, which debuts next month, is about the police officers who do everything from “checking in on late night parties and keeping the streets free of drunk drivers, to patrolling campuses at night to make sure students are safe after late-night study sessions,” according to a news release from G4.

San Marcos is home to Texas State University. The other cities featured in “Campus PD” are Tallahassee, Fla.; Cincinnati; Chico, Calif.; and Greenville, N.C.

The news release about the show highlights some of the officers featured: “Viewers also tag along with Officer Jason Scott, known as ‘The Transformer,’ who is part of the San Marcos PD ‘Party Patrol,’ a special group tasked with breaking up parties. Scott has made it his mission to educate students in every encounter and do everything he can to inspire them to stay out of trouble.”

“Campus PD” premieres at 10 p.m. Dec. 9.

A sampling:

In its three-plus years on the air, “Friday Night Lights” has tackled race, class and domestic issues, and now Devin has given the show a clear entryway into gay and gender concerns. What’s more, a relatively small part on “Friday Night Lights” may rocket the 20-year-old straight of Austin, as she’s been cast in NBC’s “Parenthood,” the mid-season replacement from “Friday Night Lights” executive producer Jason Katims.

“I love her, and I know Jason does, but you never quite know how these things will work out,” said Peter Berg, who directed the “Friday Night Lights” film and serves as executive producer on the DirecTV/NBC series. “You have a plan, but like any football game, things change. Suddenly players you didn’t even notice on the roster step up. She’s terrific. She has a unique presence, and I don’t think we were capitalizing on that. I think there’s probably a bigger role for her in ‘Parenthood.’”

Unlike my distinguished colleague Dale Roe, I quite liked it.

I am also biased: I have a brother with Down Syndrome. So not only was I pretty happy to see two actresses with D.S. getting work, the woman who played Sue Sylvester’s older sister is the oldest person with D.S. I’ve ever seen on TV. My other younger brother, the one without D.S., and I both freely admit we got a little verklempt at the final scene.

But I also didn’t mind what it did to Sue Sylvester. A pal of mine noted that he couldn’t watch “Glee” because Jane Lynch was doing a minstrel version of Jane Lynch characters. This episode gave her a bit of depth she was lacking — there are things she values, things her delight in everyday evil protects like armor.

And the subplot involving the relationship with Kurt and his father was brilliantly executed. Chris Colfer is doing ground-breaking work here and making it look easy; it should be acknowledged as such.

Besides, “Glee” is not a show that’s exactly reliant on continuity - this isn’t “Lost” we’re talking about. They need never bring up these events again, if they don’t want to. But it was moving for some of us that they happened at all.

Anyway, spoilers and thoughts about last night’s episode after the jump.

Britton will appear at “Holiday Cheer & Conversation With Connie” from 2 to 4 p.m. Dec. 5. The event, presented by the local film group Reel Women, takes place at Picture Box Studio, 701 Tillery St., Suite A-7.

Sherry Mills, executive director of Reel Women, will interview Britton, who’ll then take questions from the audience.

Holiday refreshments will be served. Admission is $15, and donations for the Blue Santa toy drive and the Austin Area Capital Food Bank are encouraged.

For information, e-mail reelwomen@reelwomen.org, visit reelwomen.org or call 971-1663. As with most Reel Women events, men are welcome at the Britton interview.

SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP

Strike 1: The show violates what I like to call the Mark Gross Rule of Remakes: It is a remake of something that was once really good, rather than something terrible. For example, the original “Battlestar Galactica” was a blast if you were watching it at, say, 10 years old and almost unwatchable if you were any older. (This rule discussed a bit here.)

The original “Prisoner” is one of the greatest TV shows of all time. Whip-smart, visually innovative, utterly of its time (yet oddly timeless) and cooler than the other side of the pillow, it’s a cult-classic for a reason.

So remaking it seems a bit like saying, “You know what could use a rethink? The first season of ‘The Sopranos.’”

Strike 2: One of the things that made the original “Prisoner” so clever is that it played off of show creator/writer/producer/auteur Patrick McGoohan’s substantial fame in the UK as a secret agent in the TV show “Danger Man,” a role he became disillusioned with, which led to the much-brainier take on the secret agent concept in “Prisoner.”

The new “Prisoner” comes with no such resonances. Instead, we get Jesuss versus Magneto.

Actually, I would totally watch a show that was Jesus versus Magneto.

SORT-OF SPOILER ALERT HERE IN WHICH I REVEAL THAT SOMETHING HAPPENS IN EPISODE 2 (BUT NOT EXACTLY WHAT THAT SOMETHING IS) THAT INVOLVES THE THIRD STRIKE

I’ll be back next week. Until then, keep track of the remote for me and don’t fall asleep on the couch.