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This week’s TV picks
Monday:
“Bachelor Pad” 7 p.m., ABC: Tonight’s episode features a best lips kiss-off. Who’s the winner? Whomever smooched the behind of ABC’s programming chief to get this show on the air.
“Crave” 7:30 p.m., Food: A food writer searches for a slice of heaven, pizza-wise, in tonight’s installment of this new series.
“Death Valley” 9:30 p.m., MTV: New comedy series follows fictional LAPD monster-hunting force.
Tuesday:
“G4’s Proving Ground” 7 p.m., G4: Every wondered what the insanely addictive casual video game “Angry Birds” would look like in real life? Bet you do now.
“Cocaine: History Between the Lines” 7 p.m., History: The drug has been around since 300 B.C. That gives a whole new meaning to the term “Stone Age.”
“I Hate My Kitchen” 8 p.m., DIY: Yeah? Wanna’ trade for my leaky dishwasher and 17,000 ants?
“Chopped” 9 p.m., Food Network: A quartet of past champions return to cook it out for fifty grand in the ninth season kick-off.
“POV” 9 p.m., PBS: “Armadillo” looks at Danish soldiers serving in Afghanistan.
“Quirky” 9 p.m., Sundance: New reality series finds a tech company trying to turn wild, submitted invention ideas into practical realities.
Wednesday:
“Minute To Win It” 7 p.m., NBC: I don’t know what the “Human Burrito Challenge” consists of, but it sounds tasty, in an unsettling, “Soylent Green” kinda’ way.
“Law & Order: UK” 8 p.m., BBC America: “I say, old chap, you have the right to remain silent. If you can’t afford a stiff upper lip, one shall be provided for you. Cheerio!”
“Dark Matters: Twisted But True” 9 p.m., Science: New series looks at research projects and inventions surrounded by questionable ethics.
Thursday:
“NFL: Exhibition” 6:30 p.m., CBS: The Cowboys tackle the Dolphins in this pre-season outing.
“Community” 7 p.m., NBC: If you missed it last season, check out part one of the two-part paintball sequel extravaganza.
“NFL: Exhibition” 7 p.m., The CW: The Texans travel to Minnesota to take on the Vikings in another pre-season match-up.
“High School Football” 7:30 p.m., KBVO: Hays at Anderson.
Friday:
“Austin City Limits” 9 p.m., PBS: I geek out in the crowd as Cheap Trick performs new songs and a wealth of its greatest hits in this encore presentation (that’s like a rerun, but on PBS).
Saturday:
“High School Football” 7 p.m., KBVO: Hendrickson takes on Lake Travis.
“Colossal Squid” 8 p.m., Green: I hate it when the title of a show gives you no clue as to what it’s about.
Sunday:
“MDA Labor Day Telethon” 5:30 p.m., NBC: A Jerry Lewis-less fundraiser features a wealth of performers and co-hosts Nancy O’Dell, Nigel Lythgoe, Jann Carl and Alison Sweeney.
“Curiosity: Is There a Parallel Universe?” 7 p.m., Discovery: If there is, I hope I’m better looking and have a new iPad there.
“Dinosaur Revolution” 8 p.m., Discovery: Call me crazy, but I don’t think a T-Rex’s arms are long enough to effectively handle a musket.
“9/11: Heroes Of The 88th Floor” 8 p.m., TLC: This documentary profiles a pair of Port Authority workers who helped more than 70 people escape from the World Trade Center’s north tower before dying in the building collapse.
“The Good Wife: A New Beginning” 8:30 p.m., CBS: The critically-acclaimed drama’s cast and producers fill you in on Seasons 1 and 2 as the third season moves to Sundays.
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