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This week’s TV picks
Monday: ‘Secret Life of the American Teenager’ 7 p.m., ABC Family: Bristol Palin turns up in Amy’s dorm room. Well, I guess it beats turning up in ‘The Bachelor’s’ hot tub. ‘Persons Unknown’ 7 p.m., NBC: A new, tattooed playmate gets tossed into the creepy conspiracy sandbox. ‘Unwrapped’ 7:30 p.m., Food: Disneyland and Disneyworld get unwrapped in tonight’s episode. I’ll bet it’s all goofy inside. ‘Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations’ 9 p.m., Travel: Season 7 kicks off with a trip to the Grenadine Islands.
Tuesday: ‘Afraid of the Dark’ 7 p.m., History: I’ll be watching this examination of humans’ fear of darkness with every light in my house turned on. ‘America’s Got Talent’ 8 p.m., NBC: Acts compete in Vegas tonight and tomorrow for a slot in the top 48. Look for Austin’s musical lightning makers, ‘Arc Attack,’ to be among them. ‘Warehouse 13’ 8 p.m., Syfy: A theft, a car crash and a trip to London mark this show’s second season premiere. ‘P.O.V.’ 9 p.m., PBS: The viewpoints of black claimants and white landowners in South Africa are presented in this examination of land reform in South Africa, promised by Nelson Mandela in 1994. ‘Table for 12’ 9 p.m., TLC: Who has the worst idea ever for a family of twelve? Raise your hands. A puppy? You win, ma’am.
Wednesday: ‘Top Chef: Washington, D.C.’ 8 p.m., Bravo: The competitors have to make baby food for the host’s infant. Brilliant. If I hosted a show, it would be a be one of those renovation shows and I’d make the contestants fix up my own house. ‘Fabulous Beekman Boys’ 8 p.m., Green: Martha Stewart on the farm? It sounds like a remake of ‘Green Acres’ to me. ‘Justin Bieber: My World’ 9 p.m., E!: You know, it just occurred to me that if the satellites of superstardom that are Justin Bieber and Betty White ever collided, it would be a dark, dark day for the universe.
Thursday: ‘Community’ 8 p.m., NBC: This repeat episode is the single most hilarious and well-done half-hour of television I’ve seen in recent memory. If you missed it the first time around, don’t make that mistake again. ‘Boston Med’ 9 p.m., ABC: This great, summer documentary series rolls on with an appendectomy. ‘Futurama’ 9 p.m., Comedy Central: Bender gets involved in an initiative to legalize marriage between humans and robots.
Friday: ‘Eureka’ 8 p.m., Syfy: The Season 4 premiere finds the quirky town celebrating its 60th anniversary. ‘Haven’ 9 p.m., Syfy: The supernatural drama series based on Stephen Kings ‘The Colorado Kid’ debuts.
Saturday: ‘Eastwick’ 8 p.m., ABC: The summer burn-off of cancelled series continues with back-to-back episodes. ‘The Bridge’ 8 p.m., CBS: Aaron Douglas stars as a disgruntled beat cop in the premiere of this crime series.
Sunday: ‘Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch’ 7 p.m., VH1: The NFL’s Chad Ochocinco invites 85 women to a dating training camp. No information on whether or not anybody scores. ‘Masterpiece Mystery’ 8 p.m., PBS: David Suchet portrays Christie detective Hercule Poirot in this Orient Express tale.
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