Austin360 blogs > TV Blog > Archives > 2010 > January > 05 > Entry
More 3D coming to your living room, and why I hate it
Don’t you wish you could watch the Longhorns duke it out in 3D? ESPN thinks you do.
ESPN and Discovery Communications are in a race to deliver 3D television to your living room, according to a story posted on The Live Feed today.
Disney-owned ESPN will be first out of the gate, launching its 3D network this summer, while Discovery’s network — in conjunction with Imax and Sony — won’t appear until 2011. The article says that June 11th’s 2010 FIFA World Cup match (South Africa vs. Mexico) will be the first of at least 85 live sporting events to be broadcast in ESPN 3D’s first year, including other World Cup matches, college basketball and football games, the Summer X Games and the 2011 BCS National Championship matchup.
The competing announcements have both ventures claiming to be the first to introduce dull headaches to your TV-watching experience, according to The Live Feed: ESPN arrives first, but Discovery’s network will be the first to broadcast 24/7.
To see the 3D content, viewers will have to purchase a new, 3D-capable television set, which does not yet exist (the technology is expected to be announced at the upcoming Consumer Electronics show). There is speculation that some current HD TVs will be able to receive the content with a converter box. But new equipment is probably the least of your worries — it’s going to cost money to generate and deliver this content and that cost will most likely be passed along to the consumer.
Oh, and you’ll have to wear those glasses, at least until some high-tech firm announces a new surgical procedure that will allow you to have the technology implanted in your eyeballs; I’m sure that’s coming.
No word yet on other possible add-ons to make your home 3D-viewing experience more like going to the theater, including:
- Home renovations to move your bathroom down to the end of a long, dimly-lit hallway
- Concession workers who will charge you for food and drinks from your own refrigerator (and offer to sell you a larger cup for only 25 cents more)
- Strangers who will come into your house, sit behind you and talk during the entire show
- A device that deactivates your cell phone for the duration of the event
- Big bottles of Ibuprofen for the 3D-induced headaches
- A greasy veneer of genuine imitation butter-flavored topping all over everything
I don’t know about you, but I won’t rest until my living room is in the middle of a strip mall and watching “Lost” is just as inconvenient as going to the cineplex.
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