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This Week’s TV picks

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Monday:
‘The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love’ 7 p.m., ABC: Jake Pavelka, a pilot who got booted on last season’s ‘Bachelorette,’ meets season 14’s contestants in tonight’s premiere. What could be more embarrassing than going through this twice?

‘Conveyor Belt of Love’ 9 p.m., ABC: Never mind, I just answered my own question. 30 guys pass by on a super slow treadmill while five women pass judgment.

Tuesday:
‘Paranormal State’ 9:30 p.m., A&E: A couple claims that whatever’s haunting their Indiana home is so loud they can’t sleep. If my wife sees this, she’ll dispatch an exorcist to my nose.

‘Perfect Disaster’ 9 p.m., Green: What would happen if a mega flood hit London? I’m imagining a lot of blokes would be yelling ‘blimey!’ and ‘jolly bad show!’

Wednesday:
‘I Get That A Lot’ 7 p.m., CBS: Celebs get to poke fun at their public personas when they are recognized in ordinary jobs. Best of the lot is ‘Big Brother’s’ Julie Chen, who sets up shop as a frozen yogurt vendor.

‘Modern Family’ 8 p.m., ABC: Benjamin Bratt guest stars as Manny’s dad, Javier.

Thursday:
‘BCS Championship Game: Alabama vs. Texas’ 7:30 p.m., ABC: As if anybody reading this is going to be watching anything else tonight.

Friday:
‘Operation Wild’ 9 p.m., Green: This episode is called ‘Lobster Fever.’ I think I may have had that once. One of the symptoms is that you feel like you’re boiling, right?

Saturday:
‘The Wishing Well’ 8 p.m., Hallmark: Ernest Borgnine, Sally Kellerman, the dad from ‘The Nanny’ and the voice of Lisa Simpson star in this ‘Wonderful Life’-esque tale about a jaded journalist. This is fiction, isn’t it?

Sunday:
‘The Simpsons’ 7 p.m., FOX: Speak of the devils! In the show’s 450th episode, Krusty the Clown proposes to Anne Hathaway.

‘The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3D! On Ice!’ 7:30 p.m., FOX: Seth McFarlane gets an hour off while documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock interviews fans, cast members and others.

‘Chuck’ 8 p.m., NBC: Chuck deals with awesome new abilities and other fallout from his Intersect upgrade download in the 3rd season premiere. Wow, am I a geek.

‘Big Love’ 8 p.m., HBO: Wonder why the characters were seen falling through darkness and unable to reach each other in that trippy promo you’ve been seeing for weeks? Tune into the Season 4 premiere to find out.

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