Austin360 blogs > TV Blog > Archives > 2004 > September
September 2004
Vote yes for reality debates!
I woke up at 3:35 this morning with a truly brilliant idea: Turn the rule-strapped presidential debates into a reality TV free-for-all. Call them “Debates: Extreme Makeover.”
The debates would thus become informative, entertaining and possibly history-making.
As they stand now, the debates have 32 pages of news-choking rules, covering everything from when the TV camera is trained on a candidate and when it is not, to when a candidate can look at his opponent.
PBS’ competent but decidedly dull Jim Lehrer is moderator for tonight’s first debate (starting at 8 on all cable news and broadcast channels). Two subsequent presidential debates will feature ABC’s Charles Gibson and CBS’ Bob Schieffer — fine, even-keeled newsmen who are polite and controlled. And boring.
The controlled format and button-down hosts will not help America decide between President Bush and Sen. John Kerry. What we’re like to see are truncated stump speeches, weak attempts at humor and positively gorgeous lighting. Good manners and stiff upper lips will be evident, but little else.
Just think how much better the debates would be if there were virtually no rules and David Letterman, Joan Rivers and Chris Rock were moderating. Or if comedians seem too uncivilized for a presidential debate, how about Bill O’Reilly, Chris Matthews and Oprah Winfrey?
Let’s allow the candidates to look at each other, address each other, roll their eyes at each other, stick their tongues out at each other, hug each other if the spirit moves them.
Let’s strip these board-stiff, well-dressed contenders down and sit them in a hot tub on a remote island and let ‘em go at it. A large tropical drink (heavy on the rum) might loosen things up, too. Because Bush doesn’t drink, we could spike his pineapple juice with something else. Whatever it takes to get these guys de-programmed and off-message.
Topics, gently suggested but not to be forced by our loosey-goosey moderators, might include: What did you really do in the war? How much do you pay for health insurance? If you weren’t in government service, what kind of job would you apply for — and what are your chances of getting it?
Putting the candidates through a “tribal challenge” might not be a bad idea, either. Both Bush and Kerry are fairly athletic guys; I’m sure they could run a ropes course or carry fish in their teeth. Winner gets to dodge a serious issue once.
A free-for-all debate would attract enormous ratings and translate into an enormous voter turnout. Whatever it takes, I say, to jolt this democracy out of its doldrums.
Permalink | | Categories: News coverage
Reality: Stranger than fiction
When the current reality avalanche began, many TV columnists pondered just how extreme the craze would become.
We wrote what we thought were hilarious articles about faux reality shows that might feature dog beauty contests and worm-eating contests. Then what to our wondering eyes did appear but shows exactly like our funny fauxs.
So I’ll never try to carry this genre to a fictional extreme again. Fiction about reality can never be as strange as this reality itself.
Take a gander at the latest entries coming to a channel near you in October.
“He’s a Lady” will feature 11 men undergoing feminine transformations in order to see how their wives and girlfriends live. Photos accompanied the press release for this show, debuting on TBS on Oct. 12, and trust me when I say it is not a pretty picture.
TBS, which would never exaggerate, dubs the show “hilarious and heartwarming.”
The guys will be decked out in wigs, makeup and clothing (including bras) and given tasks for some sort of competition. At the end of the series, a celebrity panel will judge them in a pageant, and a winner will collect $250,000. The panel includes actor Morgan Fairchild and former pro-basketball player John Salley.
You’ll never know how relieved I was to read the list of contestants and find no one from Austin in this “competition.”
Coming to NBC on Oct. 19 is “The Biggest Loser,” hosted by comedian Caroline Rhea. This one promises a makeover the old-fashioned way, through diet and exercise, for a dozen seriously overweight contestants. No liposuction, stomach-stapling or other invasive surgical procedures allowed.
The six men and six women will be divided into co-ed teams and ushered through harsh workouts and encounter alarmingly cruel temptations. At the end of each week they will be weighed individually and then tallied as a group. The team that loses the least amount of weight has to vote a person off.
The person who loses the most weight at the end of the series wins $250,000. NBC is billing this as a semi-serious health and lifestyle series. If you can’t wait for the premiere, NBC has thoughtfully posted a preview on its Web site.
I guess we should be grateful there are no more “Smallest Groom” shows on the horizon, but the upcoming reality lineup is still pretty scary.
Not Really Naked …
Fox has ordered a pilot for a variety show starring the Canadian rock band Barenaked Ladies. The show proposes to feature the often whimsical rockers performing music and comedy skits with the help of guest actors. The show will include the band’s quirky ad-libbed banter for which they are known in their concerts.
The tentative title is “The Barenaked Ladies Variety Show.” No premiere date yet.
Permalink | | Categories: Reality TV
Hurray for Conan!
In 2009, maybe I’ll switch my late-night viewing from “The Late Show” to “The Tonight Show.” Maybe.
That’s when Jay Leno plans to step down and turn over the half-century-old “Tonight Show” to Conan O’Brien. That’s when the show might be as amusing and intelligent as it was when Johnny Carson was king.
The announcement made Monday caught some people by surprise, but it has probably been in the works for a long, long time. O’Brien’s contract was about to expire, and speculation had been rampant that he would leave NBC in search of an earlier time slot than his post-“Tonight” gig on “Late Night.”
And it seemed as if workaholic Leno might stick around years longer than CBS’ David Letterman. If O’Brien wanted a top hosting job, CBS seemed more promising than his home network.
But Leno, possibly with strong encouragement from NBC, has decided to leave at the end of his new 5-year contract. And the network quickly signed O’Brien to a contract that promises him “The Tonight Show.”
This is the best thing that could have happened at NBC. The sour memories of Letterman leaving the network when he was passed over in favor of Leno in 1993 remain sharp. Not only was the defection a public relations nightmare, but the network lost one of its brightest talents to the competition.
O’Brien will bring a new, edgier sensibility to “Tonight,” which it sorely needs. He’s offbeat and super smart. And, let’s face it, he’ll have the best sidekick on television in Triumph, the insult-hurling, cigar-chomping dog.
The move at NBC increases the likelihood that Jon Stewart will be tapped to replace Letterman when the CBS star steps down. Stewart’s widely praised “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central has catapulted the brainy comedian/writer to the top of just about everyone’s list.
Only because I’m paid to …
I watched Bravo’s icky new reality show, “Miami Slice,” Monday night and came away with what I hope is a wrong conclusion: Male plastic surgeons are all chauvinistic jerks.
This show about a handful of plastic surgeons in Miami portrays the women they work on and the women who work for them as subservient nincompoops.
“I can’t believe I was able to please you,” one assistant purrs as she helps her pig-boss pick out furniture for his new bachelor pad.
Another surgeon makes fun of his worshipful Latina girlfriend, telling the camera and the gorgeous woman herself that she needs a new chin and nose.
And it’s patently obvious that every female in these guys’ lives — from girlfriends to nieces to office workers — has had humongous breast augmentation. A woman without cleavage is like a rainy day at the beach to these men.
So I watched “Miami Slice,” for professional reasons only, and I won’t be watching again.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
Most annoying: Caruso or D’Onofrio?
Here’s a pay-per-view I might actually pay not to watch: David Caruso vs. Vince D’Onofrio.
These two over-the-top actors are screen hogs who apparently think they are much more important than their shows, plotlines or anyone else in the cast.
Caruso, 48, entered into his starring role on CBS’s “CSI: Miami” with a bit of humility. Hard to imagine, I know, but he really did. He had, after all, made a spectacle of himself the first season of “NYPD Blue” and left the show to become the big screen’s next box-office bonanza.
Then came “Jade,” an appalling crime thriller, that practically opened and closed the same weekend in 1995. Then there was the tail-between-the-legs return to TV in the short-lived crime drama “Michael Hayes.” And then another seldom-seen movie “Body Count.”
So when Caruso landed the lead in the “CSI” spinoff, his first meeting with TV critics was self-effacing and humble. No, he didn’t think TV was second-rate; yes, he would work hard as an ensemble player to make sure “CSI: Miami” succeeded.
But with the show’s quick success came Caruso’s ego rearing its ugly head again. In just about every scene, Horatio Caine is grinding his jaw, tilting his head, lowering his voice to a whisper to indicate intensity. Opening scenes invariably show him squinting at a dead body, looking morally wounded and hellbent on revenge.
Donning sunglasses cues us to know that he’s ready for business, and he will avenge the dead one by nabbing the bad guy. Cameras usually shoot him at an upward angle, so there’s blue sky above and the hint of magnificence about his statuelike poses.
D’Onofrio, 45, on “Law & Order: Criminal Intent,” doesn’t go for pose-striking so much as twisting and mugging. Conceived as an edgy Columbo, his Detective Goran is an allegedly brilliant eccentric who enjoys toying with murderers. In last night’s episode, he even flirted with a batty woman who had killed a shock jock to get closer to her ex-husband.
Unlike Caruso, D’Onofrio started out as a promising movie actor in late-’80s films such as “Full Metal Jacket” and “Mystic Pizza.” By ‘98, however, he had a co-starring role in an obscure romantic flick called “The Velocity of Gary.” So a leading role in a promising TV spinoff looked like his salvation.
And truth be told, D’Onofrio’s weird turn in “Criminal Intent” was interesting at first. But now his character’s quirks have become predictable mannerisms, and his oddball dealings with suspects overwhelm any semblance of story line. Now it’s not so much a matter of whodunnit but how bizarre Goran is going to get.
In a face-off for the title of Most Annoying Acting in a TV Spinoff, I’d give the (tilted) nod to Caruso. But only by the slimmest of margins. And possibly because of those silly sunglasses.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
‘American Dreams’ then and now
When the third season of NBC’s “American Dreams” begins Sunday night (at 7 p.m.), the parallels between then and now will be obvious.
“American Dreams,” as you may know, is a family drama set against the backdrop of the turbulent ’60s. The Vietnam War is beginning to escalate, and the Pryor family is slowly being torn apart.
Son J.J. is a Marine fighting in the swamps of Southeast Asia. Daughter Meg is a passionate opponent of the war. The parents are agonizing over the whole mess, while their younger children are more or less oblivious.
And everyone is dealing with painful issues surrounding civil rights and women’s rights.
Today we’re in the midst of a bitter political campaign that has the country deeply divided. Is the war in Iraq justified? With more than 1,000 American soldiers dead and the casualty count rising, is the sacrifice too great? Hate crimes are on the rise, and individual rights are being whittled away.
“American Dreams” succeeds on many levels: the brilliantly re-created music from the Dick Clark TV show, the combination of realistic family tensions and abiding familial ties, and the willingness to delve into controversy. Besides the war, the show has dealt with birth control and abortion in this devout Catholic family.
Sunday night’s episode finds J.J. in a hospital in Vietnam and Meg heading for trial following her arrest during an anti-war demonstration. Whatever happens to her, it won’t be half as bad as what is bound to happen to her African American friend Sam, who also has a court date.
Singer Brandy plays Gladys Knight in the “Bandstand” sequence, singing “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.” Other musical numbers include Gavin DeGraw doing Smokey Robinson’s “The Tracks of My Tears” and Ben Taylor doing the Beatles’ “You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away.”
In many ways, “American Dreams” is the soundtrack of our lives then and now. If you’ve been longing for a television drama with heart, warmth and meaning, this is it.
Stop the presses!
Bill O’Reilly confesses to Mike Wallace on this Sunday’s “60 Minutes” (6 p.m. on CBS) that he may not vote for President Bush this time around. The 37th season premiere of the newsmagazine sounds like a big ol’ bombshell.
O’Reilly, the love hound of conservatives everywhere, says in an interview with the Associated Press that he’s known Democratic nominee John Kerry for 25 years and considers him “a patriot. I’m listening to what he has to say.”
Yikes! Rush Limbaugh is gonna have O’Reilly’s commie-pinko hide!
O’Reilly also told this stunned Associated Press reporter, who was just writing a little advance for the “60 Minutes” opener, that he is pro-gun control, anti-death penalty and favors gay adoption over state custody of children.
Any minute now, pigs are going to fly.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
‘Law & Order’: new cop, good cop
So, what do you think? Is Dennis Farina a good choice to replace Jerry Orbach on “Law & Order?”
I think so. In fact I’m sure of it. Last night’s 15th season opener introduced Farina as Det. Joe Fontana, spunky new partner of Det. Ed Green (played by Jesse L. Martin). He amused his partner and ticked off his boss. What more can you want?
The key to Farina’s forthcoming success on the venerable crime show is that Fontana is nothing like the weary, wisecracking Lennie Briscoe, who will turn up midseason as an investigator for the district attorney on Dick Wolf’s fourth “L&O” incarnation, “Law & Order: Trial by Jury.”
Fontana is something of a mystery. He wears $300 Italian silk shirts and drives a fancy sports car. His taste in food, wine and travel runs to the fabulously expensive, which is not how most New York cops live. Where does his money come from? We don’t know.
The actor was most recently seen in the pathetically unfunny sitcom “The In-Laws,” but he’s no stranger to drama. A former Chicago cop, Farina broke into acting in the ’80s as Lt. Mike Torello on NBC’s “Crime Story,” created and produced by Michael Mann. He played (you guessed it) a Chicago cop.
Since then Farina, 60, has played lots of cops and thugs, with a bit of comedy sprinkled in between.
In the back-to-back episodes for Wednesday’s “Law & Order” season opener, Farina blended in perfectly. His character is well-conceived and well-acted, and with the focus continuing to shine on stories rather than regulars, “Law & Order” should maintain its status as one of TV’s finest dramas.
Austin’s bachelorette
One of the original 25 bachelorettes on the new season of ABC’s “The Bachelor” is from Austin. Do you care?
If you do, her name is Wende, and she’s a 28-year-old real estate agent/model who lists her “current” home as Austin. That’s all we know so far. When the unnaturally lovely herd was whittled from 25 to 15 last night, Wende made the cut, so we’ll see her for at least another week.
In case you’re searching, Wende is the redhead and thus stands out in the sea of blondes and brunettes.
Austin has become such a petri dish for reality show contestants that finding a hometown person is hardly news any more, but we thought we’d mention Wende, in case you care.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
The end of Dan Rather?
Is Dan Rather toast over the National Guard memos?
Possibly. Probably. CBS will make somebody pay the price for losing credibility, and Rather is not only the anchor of CBS News, he was the reporter on the ill-conceived “60 Minutes” report alleging President Bush failed to meet his Guard requirements during the Vietnam War era.
We’ve tried to talk with Rather, by the way, but right now, he’s not talking. Maybe later …
The original report aired Sept. 8. Rather’s on-air mea culpa aired Tuesday night. During the weeks in between, Republicans screamed for blood and insisted there was collusion between CBS News and John Kerry’s campaign.
The revelation this week that “60 Minutes” producer Mary Mapes had called Kerry adviser Joe Lockhart to urge him to contact Bill Burkett, the supplier of the memos, is arguably the worst offense in a series of journalistic blunders. If Mapes, who did a lot of the legwork on the story, isn’t fired, CBS can kiss its credibility goodbye.
But what about Rather? The Texan anchor, who turns 73 next month, has been a lightning rod for controversy from the get-go. Back when he was a reporter, he had that testy exchange with Richard Nixon (“Are you running for something?”) that sealed his fate. From then on he was seen as a Big Bad Liberal, especially after he spoke at a Democratic fund-raiser in Texas in the ’80s. He apologized for that, too. He also had a testy relationship with President Bush the Elder.
So, apology or not, right or wrong, Rather’s goose is probably cooked. He should have thoroughly authenticated those memos; he should have triple-sourced every charge, knowing the report would set off a firestorm during a hotly contested campaign.
The fact that the White House has not directly disputed the report’s contents — that Bush got into the Guard in ‘68 on preferential treatment from Ben Barnes and then failed to fulfill his commitment in Alabama, despite receiving an honorable discharge — has fallen by the wayside. It doesn’t matter any more. Memo-gate has taken precedence.
CBS News is said to be roiling in a deep funk. The competing staffs of the two “60 Minutes” programs are hissing at each other: Sunday (in the furious voice of Steve Kroft) says it never would have rushed to air the report that ran on Wednesday’s edition. Wednesday is said to be miffed that colleagues at Sunday are criticizing them.
“The CBS Evening News” has been third in the ratings, behind NBC and ABC, for years. Rather, a 42-year veteran of the network, has been at the helm since 1981, when Walter Cronkite retired. Rather’s current contract runs through ‘06, but that may not mean much if news president Andrew Heyward decides he’s damaged goods.
Rather will not want to end his long and mostly distinguished career on such a sour note, but he may be willing to resign rather than be fired.
But then CBS News has to decide who comes next? Unlike NBC, which has groomed Brian Williams to replace Tom Brokaw, or ABC, which has a stable of stars to step in when Peter Jennings steps down, CBS has no obvious replacement for Rather.
The network is appointing a panel of experts to investigate what happened with Memo-gate and how it happened. The investigation is expected to take a matter of weeks rather than months, and the findings will be made public.
All this will come smack dab in the middle of an election season — at a time when conservatives blame CBS for siding with the Kerry campaign. It’s all very bad news for CBS News — and it could send Rather to his Lake Travis retirement homestead well before Thanksgiving.
Permalink | | Categories: News coverage
Still lovin’ Sipowicz!
I’m one of those people network programmers love.
If I like a show, I’m loyal to it. I’m what they call an “appointment viewer.”
For example, I loved ABC’s “NYPD Blue” when it debuted in 1993, and I still love it today. Steven Bochco’s butt-baring, foul language-hurling cop show enters its 12th and (likely) final season tonight at 9, and I don’t think I’ve missed a single episode in that time.
Which is not to say my appointment viewing habit can’t be broken. If a show loses its quality — or fails to grow — I’m outta there. “Friends” fell into that category, although I never exactly loved it to begin with. I’m definitely over “ER,” which was once a must-see for me.
“NYPD Blue” has changed and evolved over the years, but Dennis Franz’ deeply flawed Everyman, Andy Sipowicz, has remained the heart and soul of the show. Andy is raw and real and soft in the middle (figuratively and literally). He was a raging alcoholic riddled with bullets in the pilot. Now he’s recovered but riddled with emotional scars.
In ‘93, “NYPD Blue” was shocking and groundbreaking. Several ABC stations around the country refused to air it, mostly because of the language. Some words (none of which can be mentioned, even in an online blog) had never been heard on broadcast TV before. It was an adult drama, pure and simple.
By today’s cable standards, however, the show is relatively mild. And yet it still stands out on the broadcast networks. The conservative backlash to things like Janet Jackson’s infamous “nipplegate” have forced even “NYPD Blue” to ease up a bit. Gordon Clapp’s Detective Medavoy was supposed to have flashed his rear end last season, but the scene was killed at the last minute.
I hope the show goes out with a bang. Sipowicz and the 15th Squad deserve no less. I’ve seen tonight’s episode, and it seems to be on the right track.
Charlotte Ross, who played Sipowicz’ lover and new wife, Detective Connie McDowell, has left the show. Connie will be mentioned but not seen, after deciding to stay home with the new baby.
Currie Graham joins the cast as Lt. Thomas Bale, the squad’s new commanding officer. And Bonnie Somerville has been added as a flirtatious detective.
All characters, however, revolve around Sipowicz, who just might go down in television history as the most complex, interesting character ever to stalk the small screen. It has been a stunning blend of writing and acting, and I’ll definitely miss him when he’s gone.
“NYPD Blue” could return next season, but none of the cast is counting on it. The plan now is to go on with 20 new episodes, uninterrupted by reruns, and depart in January. There’ll be a big hole in the schedule — and my heart — when it’s gone.
David Caruso: I can’t take him anymore!
While Dennis Franz commands our attention with subtlety, carrot-topped Caruso struts like a rooster and shouts for attention on “CSI: Miami.” Like a preschooler with an empty sippy cup, he stands in the middle of a scene and squawks.
“CSI: Miami” returned for its new season last night, and Caruso’s character, with the appropriately overblown name of Horatio, pushed his way into almost every scene. He even managed to take over the scene in which regular cast member Speedle (Rory Cochrane) was killed. Caruso gives new meaning to “chewing the scenery.” Even when Horatio has nothing to say, Caruso makes sure the camera zooms in on his grinding jaw and tragic, tortured gaze.
I find myself liking this show when Caruso isn’t gnawing away at it, but that rarely happens, so I’m not going to waste my time on it any more. Too much Caruso is just too hard to take.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
Emmys: good show, bad predictions
My record for predicting the Emmys was pretty awful this year.
In Sunday’s newspaper, I galloped through a dozen categories, listing my preferences for who “should win” followed by a pick for who “would win.” Five of my “should wins” actually won last night, and only one of my “will wins” came true.
The “will win” pick was also a “should win” — “Angels in America” for best miniseries. It would have been a shocker if the landmark HBO drama hadn’t won, so this was a no-brainer.
The biggest, most pleasant surprises were Fox’s wacked-out “Arrested Development” nabbing the best comedy series Emmy, and James Spader winning in the lead actor category for his portrayal of the rather slimy attorney on “The Practice.”
The question now is whether “Arrested Development” can parlay its Emmy into ratings when the Fox comedy returns for its second season. Unfortunately that won’t be for another six weeks, after Fox completes its baseball commitment.
And will Spader’s Emmy give his “Practice” spinoff, “Boston Legal,” the push it needs to rise above the crowd when it debuts? That’s anybody’s guess, but it certainly can’t hurt.
The Emmys are always criticized for anointing the same shows and people year after year, but at least this year there were the aforementioned pleasant surprises.
And the nods to Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce for their last season of “Frasier” can hardly be questioned, given the incredible high-quality run that show had for more than a decade.
During the three-hour telecast, host Gary Shandling held up his end of the bargain. Shandling’s dry humor may be an acquired taste, but at least he kept things moving. He may look lost all the time, but he isn’t.
Favorite Shandling line: “Tell me another awards show that has this kind of range: Donald Trump to Al Pacino.”
Fashion victim: William Petersen of “CSI” chose a velvet tuxedo jacket over a black T-shirt. Doesn’t he know “Miami Vice” is so over?
Five-second delay: In the aftermath of Janet Jackson’s epic wardrobe malfunction, all live shows are on a delay. We might have expected bleeps to come from the young and hip. But it was veteran Broadway star Elaine Stritch, 79, who won for her one-woman show on HBO. She got the muzzle during her hysterically proud acceptance speech.
Best gimmick: Unsuspecting real people presented the Emmy for best reality show. Amy Scholsohn of Orlando, Fla., and Bruce T. Milam Jr. of Joliet, Ill., were led on stage in blindfolds, apparently having no idea where they were or what they were about to do. It could have been a disaster, but the two were great and the normally jaded Hollywood crowd loved them.
Nobody loved “Raymond” this year: The sitcom, heading into its final season, has gobbled up most of the comedy acting awards in recent years and won for best comedy last year. The Academy gave Ray Romano’s vehicle zip in the majors this time around.
Favorite son: The orchestra struck up the music about 30 seconds into most acceptance speeches, but there was one notable exception. Al Pacino, who won for his performance in “Angels in America,” never heard a note, and he spoke for several minutes.
Next year? I’ll remember my track record and try not to sound so cocky in my predictions.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
BYE BYE, BABA
Barbara Walters’ career on television spans almost the entire history of the medium. Don’t believe me? You can see snippets from the early days of NBC’s “Today” to ABC’s “20/20” in a two-hour retrospective tonight at 8 on ABC.
This is a tribute, but not yet the farewell.
Walters, in case you haven’t heard, has decided to step down as co-host of “20/20.” Her last night as host is next week, and, not surprisingly, she’s landed a doozy of an interview: Mary Kay Letourneau, the former sixth-grade teacher who went to prison for having sex (and two kids) with her then-13-year-old student.
Walters will continue to do celebrity interview specials, such as the traditional pre-Oscar telecast, and occasional pieces for “20/20” and ABC News. But she’s turning over her weekly partnership with John Stossel to Elizabeth Vargas.
Walters, 73 next week, started out in the ’60s as a writer on “Today” and became the morning news show’s first female co-anchor, paired with her eventual “20/20” mate, Hugh Downs. After 15 years on the crack-of-dawn beat, she suffered through a miserable year as the first female co-anchor of a nightly news program, perched beside a grumpy, obviously begrudging Harry Reasoner at ABC.
Over 40 years, Walters figures she’s done 744 interviews and countless hours of television. She has chatted up every president and first lady in her professional lifetime (starting with Nixon), as well as most major celebrities and worldwide newsmakers.
The list includes Boris Yeltsin (of whom she asked, “Do you drink too much?”), John Lennon’s murderer Mark David Chapman, Monica Lewinsky, Moammar Gadhafi and, of course, Katharine Hepburn. As in, “What kind of tree would you be?” Walters has come to be known more for her celebrity chats — some of which are embarrassingly fawning, like that awful flirtation with Paul Newman. “You’re eyes really are the bluest,” she purred.
But she truly was a pioneer, a ground-breaker for women in TV news. She started out as a serious news hound, and she’s still capable of asking tough questions of serious subjects.
Walters deserves to slow down, and she deserves more respect than perhaps she has been paid over the years. I hope tonight’s tribute is as informative about her remarkably distinguished career as it is reverential. But that probably won’t be the case.
Dumb Donald
You can’t tell me Donald Trump fired Bradford on last night’s “Apprentice” because he deserved it. No, the Donald axed Bradford simply to spark water-cooler conversation and higher ratings for next week’s episode.
Bradford had earned immunity in the boardroom, but foolishly gave it up, apparently believing his performance in the ice-cream selling task was strong enough to save him regardless.
But the Donald thought giving up immunity was “stupid” and fired Bradford even though he said repeatedly that Bradford was the best worker on the team. Donald’s decision was even more stupid than Bradford’s, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but if you had, that would be my opinion.
Now we’re still stuck with Ivana and Stacie, both of whom deserved to go if only for their childish spats and overall immaturity.
Permalink | | Categories: News coverage
Can we survive another ‘Survivor’?
The reality wars heat up tonight with the return of CBS’s “Survivor”, this one set on Vanuatu Islands, a volcano-riddled series of bumps in the South Pacific. The introduction to the 18 soon-to-be scrawny and bug-bitten cast members begins at 7 p.m.
The only change for this ninth installment is an increase in the tribal population from 16 to 18. The tribes will be divided into men and women, not unlike NBC’s “The Apprentice,” which happens to air tonight, too (at 8:30).
ABC’s exceedingly lame “The Benefactor” with the truly annoying Mark Cuban also airs tonight (at 8). If you saw the first one, you can probably skip this one. It doesn’t get any better.
If you miss tonight’s episode of “Survivor,” don’t fret. It usually takes several weeks for the personalities to emerge and the number of contestants to shrink to a manageable level. With 18 folks getting dumped into tropical never-neverland, you may remember irritating Rory or loud-mouthed Eliza or hard-edged construction worker Twila, but just about everybody else will blend together.
I’ve been predicting for the previous six or seven installments of “Survivor” that people are getting tired of it, so I’m not going to make such a pronouncement this time … but, really, folks. Nine of these things? How many tribal councils does America plan to attend?
Fooling-Around-TV
Speaking of reality TV — and that’s all we seem to speak of when ruminating on TV these days — The Style Network may have found the bottom rung of this genre’s ladder.
“Diary of an Affair,” coming Oct. 9 (at 8 p.m.) to Time Warner’s digital cable Channel 219, promises to chronicle true stories of extramarital liaisons. Now won’t that be inspirational?
Press material informs us that each half-hour episode of the show ”relives the excitement, danger, fear, passion, pain and the emotional resolve of the affair.”
Hef’s PJs in Hall of Fame
Occasionally useless entertainment tidbits catch my attention, and today’s item concerns Hugh Hefner’s pajamas. No, I’m not kidding.
The Playboy of All Playboys, we learn today, is the first person to be inducted into the Erotic Museum of Hollywood’s “hall of fame.”
Hef donated several “artifacts” to the museum, which allegedly takes a “scholarly approach to erotica.” Besides his silk jammies, Hef offered up a pair of monogrammed slippers, a pipe and, of course, one of those hard-as-concrete satin push-up bunny costumes. Complete with fluffy-white angora tail.
The induction ceremony was hosted by comedian Bill Maher, which tells you something about the “scholarly” approach of this museum.
Permalink | | Categories: Reality TV
Shriver & Roy: The big get?
NBC has been hawking Maria Shriver’s interview with Siegfried and Roy like it was the first one-on-one chat with the pope.
It’s a sad state of affairs when the biggest news “get” of the week is a couple of Vegas showmen.
“Siegfried & Roy: The Miracle” airs at 8 tonight and features Roy Horn’s first interview since he was mauled by one of his white tigers on stage last October. He and his partner, Siegfried Fischbacher, got to know Shriver through her show-biz husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, now governor of California.
No doubt there will be lots of interest, morbid and otherwise, in the special. Promos have shown an earnest-looking Shriver leaning forward, asking questions of Horn in slow, measured tones. All we see of Horn in these spots is the back of his head. We don’t know what he looks like or how he sounds — assuming he can talk at all.
After the tiger grabbed Horn between its teeth and shook him like a rag doll, Horn suffered at least two strokes. His condition has been speculated about, so tonight’s “interview” will provide some answers.
The Siegfried and Roy special also has garnered attention because is marks Shriver’s modest return to NBC. The network asked her to relinquish her position with NBC News when her husband was elected governor. Tonight’s special, originally scheduled to air as a “Dateline” special, was produced under the entertainment division of NBC and is going on the air with its own entertainment title.
Shriver, the daughter of Eunice Kennedy and Sargent Shriver, has made no secret of her desire to resume her TV news career, and this is a first step. She has said she doesn’t see a conflict in being first lady of California and a journalist.
But it definitely is a conflict, and NBC should be careful about letting the wife of a sitting governor participate in any real news programs.
‘Primetime Live’ hires a singer!
ABC’s ”Primetime Live” begins its new season tomorrow night (Thursday at 9 p.m.) with a ”hard look at the financial world” of Donald Trump, which really isn’t as fabulous as he has led us to believe.
ABC, you should know, passed on Trump’s reality TV project, ”The Apprentice,” which became a major hit on NBC last season. So there’s probably a good deal of glee in revealing the cracks in his gold-leafed empire.
Perhaps more importantly than The Donald (hard to imagine anything more important, isn’t it?), “Primetime” has added a singer to its roster of four rotating anchors that includes Diane Sawyer, John Quiñones, Chris Cuomo and Cynthia McFadden.
Most but not all weeks, the newsmagazine will end its telecast with New York warbler Kristy Glass delivering a satirical take on the news. Viewers of a certain age will recall a similar end to David Frost’s mid-’60s series “That Was the Week That Was”.
We’ll see how long this musical finale lasts once critics and competitors begin making fun of its use on a “news” program.
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We’ll miss Dick Ellis …
I really hate to see Dick Ellis go. He brings a comforting credibility to local TV news with his 34 years of experience in reporting and anchoring in Austin. He’s the dean of local broadcast news and deservedly so.
Last week, we learned that Ellis and KTBC’s Fox 7 News are parting ways. Ellis’ last day at KTBC is scheduled to be Tuesday. His last night anchoring was Friday. He’s a night-side reporter this week.
Neither side will say on the record what caused the break, but the fact that KTBC assigned Ellis to reporting duties this week pretty much spells it out. The station wanted new anchors, so Ellis and Carrie Schumacher were ditched, and newcomers Mike Warren and Linda Stratton were hired.
What’s the big deal about Ellis? Newcomers may not know that this 54-year-old newsman knows Austin inside and out. He’s been reporting here since 1970, when he was a journalism student at the University of Texas. He worked briefly in city government, but covering local politics and government has been his staple for years.
Even as an anchor, Ellis has been one of Austin’s best reporters. Years ago I referred to him as “Austin’s Dan Rather” because of the tenacity of his reporting. One election night he was tossed around like a human beach ball as he forced his way to the front of a crowd to interview the winning candidate.
There’s nothing wrong with anchors who just read a TelePrompTer, and that certainly seems to be the trend. But Ellis has the kind of gravitas that only comes from knowing the history and up-to-the-minute goings-on in our city. He’s not the only anchor-reporter we have, but he certainly is one of the best.
But maybe Ellis was too much of a real newsman for Fox 7 News, which seems to spend way too much time spinning off Fox entertainment shows. I bet there were almost as many stories about “American Idol” last season on Fox 7 as City Council meetings.
Ellis says he has a job prospect that’s not in television, but I hope he winds up back on the air at some point. Austin viewers are poorer for losing him.
Permalink | | Categories: Local news
‘Six Feet Under’ gone with a bang
HBO’s “Six Feet Under” went out with a bang last night. A bang and a splat of blood, to be precise. Written and directed by series creator Alan Ball, it was one of this fabulous series’ best.
I almost didn’t answer the phone when my son called from college. (I answered, but I’m ashamed to say, made quick work of the conversation. Bad mommy!)
In an emotional and action-packed hour, the highlight was Nate’s storyline. The perpetually weird Nate finds a photo of his dead wife, Lisa, in a book given to him by his former sister-in-law’s daughter Michaela.
Lovely photo, but Nate notices that Lisa is wearing an outfit she bought a couple of days before her death. Thus, Nate concludes that whoever took the photo was with her when she died. He goes to visit former in-laws Hoyt and Barb and is shocked to hear Hoyt confess that he had an ongoing affair with Lisa.
Barb overhears her husband’s confession, and quicker than you can say dead-as-a-mackerel, Hoyt whips out a gun and gulps a bullet. Blood on the wall, horror all around. Dead man slumping.
Evidence of just how wacky Nate is comes when he returns home and immediately proposes to Brenda in a three-way hug with baby daughter, Maya. There’s just no accounting for what turns this man on, is there?
Meanwhile, stranger-than-fiction George thrills Ruth with the news that his daughter Maggie is in town for a quick visit. Ruth has been suspicious of George’s lack of communication with his grown children.
But when the three get together for lunch — in a lull in jocularity while George is in the restroom — Maggie darkly inquires about her father’s “state.” The reason for this becomes clear later when Ruth overhears George arguing with an imaginary person. We’ve long wondered about George … now we know. He’s nuts.
In other developments: Claire gets coked up for her first gallery opening and winds up smooching Billy; David confronts his attacker in jail and winds up even more disturbed when the guy suggests they get together after he’s served his time; and Federico begs Vanessa to forgive him, but she asks for a divorce.
“Six Feet Under” is one of the most emotionally complex and truly bizarre shows ever written for television. Add to that the impeccable acting, and you’ve got appointment viewing that can’t be missed.
Unfortunately, like all of HBO’s series, it’s a long time between seasons, so we’ll have to wait many months for “Six Feet” to return. Sigh …
‘LAX’ lacks everything
Heather Locklear might not be the most talented actress around, but she’s good at light comedy (“Spin City”) and campy melodrama (“Dynasty,” “Melrose Place”).
She needs just the right material to shine, and NBC’s “LAX” isn’t it. Not even the slightly more serious Blair Underwood can save this one.
Locklear plays the airfield chief; Underwood plays the airport chief. The two are former lovers, now management rivals at Los Angeles’ mammoth international airport.
”Don’t mess with my terminals, and I won’t mess with your runways,” suave Underwood growls at her.
It’ll make your skin crawl. And with a title like “LAX,” you just know the inevitable cancellation will turn it into “Ex-LAX.”
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Political drama of the un-cynical Kind
While I realize that few if any of you normal people out there are as compulsive as I am about television, it is my duty to suggest that everyone make plans now to set aside an hour Sunday night at 8 to watch one of the best new shows of the season.
That would be the WB’s “Jack & Bobby,” which arrives at 8 p.m. Sunday. If you’re sick of the cynical, hard-hearted tone of the current political campaign, do yourself a favor and taste this morsel of sweet, patriotic idealism.
The set-up is a bit complex, flashing back and forward throughout, and requires close attention. The forward part is 2049, the end of President McCallister’s term. In documentary style, members of his administration recall the formative years of the leader who came to be known as “the great believer.”
The show cleverly avoids any Republican vs. Democratic conflicts by revealing, in the second episode, that President McCallister is the first independent ever elected to the White House.
Most of the series takes place in the early formative years, as the two McCallister brothers navigate the horrors of a small-town Missouri high school and a complicated home life dominated by their pot-smoking, history-professor mother.
The pilot unfolds as a mystery, since we don’t know which brother becomes president and which is a supporting player in the future McCallister political dynasty. That secret is revealed, perhaps too soon, at the end of the pilot.
Jack (Matt Long) is the older brother, a popular jock; Bobby (Logan Lerman) is the younger brother, a geeky kid who’s been babied by his mom, in part because of his asthma.
Their single mother Grace (played by co-executive producer Thomas Schlamme’s wife, Christine Lahti) is a tightly wound college professor who tries to mold and shape her sons’ ideals to suit her own. She’s loving and means well, but her edgy relationship with Jack is one of the show’s most intriguing conflicts.
“Jack & Bobby” is one of the best-written, superbly acted dramas of the new season. Unfortunately, later this month it will go up against the other well-written, superbly acted new drama, ABC’s “Desperate Housewives.”
Ladies and gentlemen, start your video recorders.
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Is NBC’s Thursday still Must-See?
It’s supposed to be another fabulous Must-See Thursday, but NBC’s new lineup, part of which arrives tonight, is a pale imitation of the network’s glory days.
Unless you’re a rabid fan of “The Apprentice,” the night could turn into a Maybe See — at best. Especially because CBS’ popular Thursday trio of “Survivor,” “CSI” and “Without a Trace” is likely to draw a bigger crowd.
To make room for the 90-minute debut of “The Apprentice”, tonight’s lineup is temporarily missing “Will & Grace,” which returns next week. And to give the mundane “CSI”-inspired forensic-mystery drama a boost, “Medical Investigation” debuts tonight in “ER’s” spot before moving to its deadly slot Fridays.
First up, in the spot made famous by “Friends,” is the spinoff “Joey.” The pilot has a few chuckles, but Joey Tribbiani is no Frasier Crane, if you get my drift.
Next comes Donald Trump’s encore, the second edition of “The Apprentice.” In case you’ve managed to miss The Donald’s incessant drumbeat of self-promotion, he says the millions of viewers who tuned in to last season’s show did so to see him. Thus, the new installment will feature even more of him.
The real reason “The Apprentice” was such a hot commodity last season was the contestants, intriguing folks such as Omarosa, Austin’s Amy Henry and cute-but-quiet Kwame.
The new batch of contestants, vying for a top job with one of Trump’s many companies, is prettier than last year’s group. And there are 18 instead of 16 this time. The oldest is 37-year-old Kelly, a West Point grad who runs a software company and has a law degree; the youngest is 23-year-old Andy, a recent Harvard grad who lives in Boca Raton, Fla.
The Austin connection this time belongs to Rob Flanagan, a UT grad who works in Dallas for the Austin-based HotLink Inc., a Web-based corporate branding company.
It will take several weeks before the colorful characters rise to the surface, but when they do, “The Apprentice” could once again become the only real Must-See reality show.
And what of “Medical Investigation?” There’s a reason NBC has relegated it to Friday nights. Despite a first-rate cast, headed by Neal McDonough (“Boomtown”) and Kelli Williams (“The Practice”), this show is surprisingly run-of-the-mill.
In tonight’s pilot, victims of a mysterious disease turn blue and collapse. The medical investigators scurry to find the cause. You will not be surprised to know the mystery is solved and lives are saved. Zzzzzzzzz.
Permalink | | Categories: Entertainment
TV sex and real sex
Here’s a big surprise: A new study conducted by the RAND Corp. has found that teenagers who watch a lot of TV with sexual content are twice as likely to have sex — and have it at a younger age — than teens who don’t watch sex-filled TV.
The 12-year-olds who watched a lot of television with sexual content were found to act like the 14- or 15-year-olds who watched less TV with sexual content.
The two-year study questioned nearly 1,800 teens about how much sexually oriented programming they were watching. A year later, the kids were questioned again.
“The kids who watched more sex on TV were twice as likely to initiate intercourse over that year, as compared to the kids who watched the very least sex on TV,” Rebecca Collins, a behavioral scientist who headed the study, said in the survey’s summary. “We found that we could predict whether kids went from being virgins to having had sex over the course of that year, using the information about which shows they watched.”
Here’s what I always wonder about these surveys: Which shows were the kids watching? And how is sexual content described?
Various surveys, including this one, claim that two-thirds of TV shows contain sexual content, but what “shows” are we talking about? Under closer questioning, people surveyed are often found to actually be watching videos and calling them TV shows. So, is a DVD or video of “American Pie” the same as an episode of “8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter”?
And is cable, especially premium cable, considered the same as network TV? If so, then “Sex and the City” gets lumped in with “The O.C.” And people who let their 12-year-olds watch “Sex and the City” or “Nip/Tuck” get what they deserve and shouldn’t be whining about television causing their kids to have sex.
And what exactly is “sexual content”? A breakdown of one study a few years ago found hand-holding and kissing were designated as sexual content — presumably along with intercourse and hot-and-heavy petting.
While some of these surveys are interesting on the surface, they’re hardly ever specific enough to matter. And certainly not specific enough to warrant the hysteria some provoke.
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Champ or Chump?
The first of two boxing reality shows arrives tonight, but, almost inexplicably, I don’t care.
One of my dark, shameful secrets is I’ve been a boxing fan all my life. I watched the Friday night fights on NBC with my parents as a kid, and I remember my Southern-magnolia-of-a-mother screaming for blood.
I’ve even seen a few fights live, an up-close witness to blood and sweat flying out of the ring. I was living in Washington, D.C., when Sugar Ray Leonard, a local hero, became an Olympic boxing champ. Along with thousands of other Washingtonians, I made it a point to see all of his matches.
I have no idea why I consider boxing entertainment. But boxing-as-reality-TV just doesn’t get my blood pumping. Not one bit. And if I, a boxing fan, doesn’t care, will anybody else?
Fox’s show, “The Next Great Champ”, arrives first, tonight at 8 p.m., hosted by Oscar de la Hoya. The show will focus on “human drama,” according to press material.
Champ wannabes (including a teacher and a former cop) will be vying for an actual sanctioned bout. They’ll hiss at each other for an hour and then fight at the end of each episode. The winner moves on. Adding to the “human drama” will be the inclusion of a lover, wife or family member with each boxer.
You probably heard there was knock-down between network execs during the summer when Fox announced its boxing series — after NBC had announced its fall show “The Contender,” which doesn’t arrive until November.
NBC filed a lawsuit against Fox, but the case was dismissed when the court ruled that Fox hadn’t done anything legally wrong. Ethically, maybe, but legally, no. All the publicity is likely to backfire on NBC by helping draw attention to Fox’s “Champ.”
But how much attention either “Champ” or “Contender” will draw in terms of viewers is a big question mark.
And the Brain Goes On …
“Jeopardy!” (weekdays at 5 p.m. on KXAN Channel 36) brainiac Ken Jennings, is continuing his run as the winningest contestant ever.
The software engineer from Salt Lake City had won 38 straight games and $1,321,660 before the show went on hiatus in July. Monday he defended his championship and continued his winning ways.
“Jeopardy!” ditched its rule about champions being limited to five appearances, but producers probably never expected anybody to last as long as 30-year-old Jennings. But it proved a public relations bonanza.
So far, viewers have been happy to cheer on Jennings, but if the champ continues so long the ratings fall off, expect to see the old “Jeopardy” time-rule return.
Permalink | | Categories: Reality TV
Bush vs. Cowboys tonight
So, it’s Must-See TV tonight, but what will true Texans choose:
George W. Bush, our twangin’ adopted Texan, accepting his nomination for a second term? Or the Dallas Cowboys in a pre-season game against the Kansas City Chiefs?
This is an interesting dilemma, because presumably both choices appeal to the same demographic — men. More men than women voted for Bush in 2000, and more men always watch football. If he had the choice, even Bush would probably rather watch the Cowboys than a political speech.
The Big Three broadcast networks, PBS and all the cable news channels will carry the president’s speech tonight at 9 from Madison Square Garden. Fox, however, is cheerfully presenting football, beginning at 7 p.m. Fox figures people who want to see Bush can switch to the Fox News Channel on cable.
The Republican Convention has been pretty amazing this time around, much more colorful and, uh, energetic than the Democrats. There was Arnold Schwarzenegger in all his tan-and-muscular glory. There were the Bush twins and Laura.
The highlight so far, purely on the basis of heat-and-passion, came last night. The keynote address by Sen. Zell “Give ‘Em Hell” Miller of Georgia was a scorcher — especially riveting coming from a man who claims to be a Democrat.
This was the first time a member of one party has been keynote speaker for another party. But it wasn’t the first time Miller has served as keynote speaker. He opened the 1992 Democratic convention that nominated Bill Clinton, praising his party as “the party of hope.”
As NBC’s Tom Brokaw pointed out before the Georgia senator took to the podium, Miller has praised Democratic nominee Sen. John Kerry in the past as a true American hero.
But last night, Miller lashed out at his former political colleagues, frowning and barking his way through an especially venom-packed speech. He portrayed Kerry as unsteady and unprepared. It was compelling TV — and cork-poppingly annoying to Democrats.
Too bad the networks ran out of time and couldn’t cover the response to Miller’s speech from a bar in Atlanta where Democrats gathered to boo. The evening concluded with a mock divorce between Miller and a costumed Democratic donkey, who ticked off a list of irreconcilable differences.
If the networks want to bring eyeballs to political coverage in the future, that’s the kind of theater that draws a crowd. Either that or have the candidates speak at half-time of a football game.
And now for real TV …
With the two political conventions and the Olympics behind us, we can finally look forward to the new fall season. You know, real TV shows — although that includes fake reality as well.
More than 30 new shows join the six broadcast networks’ lineups over the next month or so. To get the low-down on the newcomers, check out our critical rundown in this Sunday’s Austin American-Statesman.
And for a quick look at some of the returning shows, check out Tuesday’s TV column in the newspaper.
Yep, that was more shameless self-promotion. Sorry.
Permalink | | Categories: News coverage
Will ‘Will & Grace’ recover?
Heading into its seventh season, wacky “Will & Grace” is NBC’s senior sitcom, and the network is counting on its resurgence to protect the sagging Must-See Thursday night lineup.
The network that used to be known for fine comedy has whittled its live-action chucklefests to a tiny trio. Besides “Will & Grace,” that includes “Scrubs” and the new “Friends” spinoff, “Joey.” “Father of the Pride” is technically a comedy, but (a) it’s not funny and (b) it’s not live-action.
Even staunch fans of “Will & Grace” will concede that last season was weak. Part of the problem was that half of “Will & Grace” was missing in action. Debra Messing’s pregnancy forced writers to back off storylines featuring Grace’s trademark slapstick comedy, and the show suffered.
The producers have promised to get back on track when the show returns Sept. 16. Messing is ready for her pratfalls, and there are hints that Grace’s boring marriage to a seldom-seen husband (played by Harry Connick Jr.) will be over.
The prospect of Grace and the happily widowed Karen back on the dating scene is rich.
The original basis for the show was the friendship between gay Will and his best pal from college, Grace. Although Will and Jack were gay and made rampant wisecracks about it, the writers were skittish about giving either of them real relationships. That’s going to change this season when Will finds true love with Vince, played by last season’s guest star, Bobby Cannavale.
What’s to become of Jack, played by the ever-brilliant Sean Hayes? He’ll probably never settle down romantically, but he does finally land a job. Producers are making him a high-powered TV executive with a gay cable network.
Pumping up the GOP
Tuesday night’s Republican National Convention had a lot more star power than Monday night, when the best the GOP could do was Sen. John McCain and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.
Last night’s lone network hour started off with California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s rousing speech.
“He’s been governor of California for only 10 months, and boom, he’s a national figure in the Republican party,” marveled Jim Lehrer on PBS’ “NewsHour.”
Down on the floor of Madison Square Garden, CNN’s Candy Crowley donned a pair of “Terminator” glasses and proclaimed, “The Grand Old Party is atwitter.” Settle down, Candy …
Then 22-year-old twins Jenna and Barbara Bush giggled their way through a lame comedy routine that seemed more appropriate for a sorority skit. They quipped about their “young and irresponsible” days and goaded their grandmother for thinking their favorite sitcom “Sex and the City” is “something married people do but never talk about.”
In an awkward transition, the twins tossed the spotlight to Dad, who was standing in a baseball field in Pennsylvania. Boy, did he look goofy introducing his wife, Laura, whose speech at least brought a dignified conclusion to the evening.
The back-to-back speeches by Schwarzenegger, Jenna-Barbara and Mrs. Bush filled up the broadcast networks’ hour, effectively shutting down commentary and analysis. Maybe that was a good thing.
Tonight’s lineup includes Michael Reagan introducing a tribute to his dad, Ronald Reagan; keynote speaker Sen. Zell Miller, turncoat Democrat from Georgia; Lynne Cheney introducing her husband; and Vice President Dick Cheney accepting his re-nomination.
Country crooners Brooks & Dunn warble closing music.
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