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Gotti goes to reality TV
When the reality craze began heating up with dating, survival and makeover show a few years ago, a couple of us in the newsroom decided to come up with funny parodies.
Bad idea. The problem we faced then — and certainly now — is that it’s impossible to exaggerate reality shows. We’ve got people trading spouses and hiring plastic surgeons to make them look like their favorite celebrities.
Now we’ve got cameras trained on a mafia diva, a filthy-rich version of Roseanne Barr’s domestic goddess.
“Growing Up Gotti” takes us inside the sprawling Long Island mansion of Victoria Gotti, daughter of John Gotti. Remember him? The “Dapper Don,” who died in prison two years ago, was the fabled (and wildly popular) boss of the Gambino crime family.
Victoria, who has platinum blond hair that cascades past her rear end and wears what appears to be sausage casing, has cashed in on her mob connections for years. She has a newspaper gossip column and has published three novels. Two more books are on the way.
Her new TV show, which airs Mondays at 8:30 p.m. on A&E and arrived last night, is a less humorous version of “The Sopranos.” And a meaner version of “The Osbournes.” At least on the rock star’s reality show and the HBO drama, the family seemed to love each other.
The Gottis mostly yell, hit and hurl insults at each other. Still sporting a grape-sized diamond from ex-hubby Carmine Agnello (serving time for racketeering and tax evasion), Victoria would have us believe she’s just a stressed-out, hard-working single mom.
Her teenage sons Carmine, Frank and John sulk when they aren’t fighting with each other or shouting at their mom. On Mother’s Day they have breakfast catered (what sweet and thoughtful lads!), but then lunge into a fistfight.
I have to admit I got a chuckle out of the mansion, which is grand on the outside (except for the mud and sewage-infested pool) and terrifically tacky on the inside. A large framed portrait of the Dapper Don graces a table. There’s lots of marble and leopard-skin.
Victoria likes to crack wise about her mob connections, but some of the lines are uncomfortably not funny. After a miserable blind date, she tells the limo driver she’ll pay him $1,000 to “take him to a ditch and roll him in.”
Considering that the Gambino family has been responsible for dozens of real-life deaths, it’s hard to laugh at that.
Calls and e-mails …
Columnists love hearing from readers. It’s the only way we know people are actually paying attention to our work.
But some folks seem to think I’ve got way more power than I do. I’ve had readers scold me for canceling a show and yell at me for putting something truly awful on the air. A recent caller wondered why I got rid of “Frasier.” Hell-ooo!
If I had such power, we’d be spared stuff like “Growing Up Gotti.” Dozens of people were confused when I wrote about the British spy dramas on BBC America. If you have to ask what digital cable is, you don’t have it and you can’t see those shows.
One man recently called wanting me to tell him what day, time and channel all his favorite shows are on. He doesn’t read the American-Statesman’s TV listings or any other listings for that matter. Nor does he use his on-screen guide. Apparently he just picks up the phone and asks. Odd way to tune in.
Despite a few crackpots and cranks, I love getting calls, letters and e-mails, so keep ‘em coming. And thanks for reading.
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