Austin360 blogs > Bottlecaps & Wingnuts > Archives > 2008 > June > 02 > Entry
Cyborg monkeys vs. Chuck Norris
It all began with the story about monkeys who could control prosthetic limbs with their thoughts.
Naturally, I thought about a future of cyborg terminator monkeys, because in a world of deadly tornadoes, $4-a-gallon gas, global warming and exponentially growing reality TV shows, I figure that’s just the next natural step.
And if we have cyborg terminator monkeys, what does that do to children’s literature? “Hand, Hand, Fingers, Aieeeee!” Or perhaps Curious George is curious as to why you haven’t fetched him that banana yet, puny human?
Meanwhile, my co-workers were discussing “Mannequin.” They said it was a natural progression from a Kim Cattrall and “Sex and the City” discussion, but I’m not so sure about them.
Yes, once upon a time, kids, there was but one HBO, and “Mannequin” was on every afternoon.
I never watched it, I swear, but I’m no stranger to bad movies.
For instance, I recently re-watched “The Octagon,” a movie I had fondly remembered from my youth.
Turns out, it is terrible. I mean, come on, the grand finish features Chuck Norris, dressed all in black, fighting a ninja at NIGHT. All you can see is the bobbing white head of Chuck Norris.
And for the first 80 minutes of this 100-minute flick, it’s nothing but bad dialogue.
How did I watch this as a 12-year-old? Man, I would kill for a long, lazy summer now when I had nothing better to do than watch this on TV.
I mean, it’s no “Missing in Action II,” as far as Chuck Norris movies go.
Did you know this prequel was filmed along with “Missing in Action” and was supposed to be the first movie, but turns out “Missing in Action” was better, so it was released first? (IMDB.com tells me this.)
So “Missing in Action II” was filmed prior to or about the same time as “Rambo: First Blood Part II.” It’s interesting to note the similarities between the two films. It’s as though “Rambo” is George Kennedy to “Missing in Action’s” Joe Don Baker.
Just thought I’d mention that.
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