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Loving ‘Footloose’

So, the Sinus Show is making fun of “Footloose” this weekend. This is one of the best shows I’ve ever seen them do, and it’s well worth checking out.

Do not let the wisecracks, however, distract you from the masterpiece that is unspooling before you on the screen. Consider this a companion commentary to your Sinus Show experience.

Sarah’s Case for the Greatness of ‘Footloose’

Point No. 1. Kevin Bacon. Hot.

2. Lori Singer. As preacher’s daughter Ariel, she’s not just bad, she is bravely and epically bad. You can tell she is utterly convinced the performance will make her a James Dean-caliber icon of teen rebellion. Instead, she’s just annoying. Singer took a lot of risks with how she approached this part and the fact not one of them really paid off doesn’t change the fact that she was fearless enough to take them. If “Footloose” were made today, Mischa Barton would sleepwalk through the Ariel role. Thank God we got Lori.

You also have to love the character’s quotability. Look for my favorite Ariel moments, “My daddy hates it when I wear these red boots” and “I’m not even a virgin!”

3. Chris Penn. Because you want to remember him as Willard, not as sad, bloated latter-day Chris Penn.

4. Sarah Jessica Parker. Her crowning moment as Rusty, best friend to Ariel and girlfriend to Willard, comes when the gang sneaks across the river to go to a honky-tonk (a scene, by the way, that I thought at the time embodied how totally awesome being a grown-up was). Willard does not want to dance, but Rusty really, really REALLY does. So much so that she starts bopping up and down in her chair until she can control it no longer and springs onto the dance floor with a man who is not Willard.

5. The names. Ren. Ariel. Rusty. Willard. Shaw. Burlington. When we find out that Ariel has a dead brother named Bobby, it actually seems kind of weird.

6. The locale. OK, it may not be the same town where “Napoleon Dynamite” takes place, but I bet the two schools play each other in football. And it’s easy to picture Uncle Rico as a cohort of Chuck Cranston.

7. The profound political and social implications. “Footloose” follows Ren (dreamy, dreamy Kevin) as he tries to loosen up a small town that has banned rock ‘n’ roll, dancing and, apparently, attractive clothing. It supported my young self’s world view that any threat to rock was an attack on democracy. In fact, I’m pretty sure Al Gore made up this global warming business to distract attention as Tipper relaunches her war on rock.

8. The prom. You can love the finale of this movie on so many levels, There’s its prescient resemblance to the dance in — again — “Napoleon Dynamite.” There’s the fact that you will never see such a concentration of dowdy dresses again in your life. And then there’s its simple perfection. All the kids are standing around moping, as if they simultaneously realized that they’re probably never getting out of that lousy town after all, but then Ren arrives and … PARTY! Suddenly, everyone knows how to dance — well, more or less — and there’s glitter raining down from the ceiling and no one in the history of fun has ever had more fun than this.

It kind of gives me chills.

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