Home > American Idol > Archives > 2007 > March > 27 > Entry
No doubt about it, this is bananas
Can we just get this over with and name Melinda Doolittle the next “American Idol”?
Seriously. No one else even comes close. And we’ve got things to do. Things other than sitting on the couch and shouting at the TV for an hour and seven minutes.
But, noooooo. The “fine” folks at Fox insist on dragging it out. There’s money to be made, after all. Lots of it, according to this article from Forbes.
We digress. Here, without further delay, is our assessment of Tuesday night’s performances.
LaKisha Jones: “Last Dance,” Donna Summer. What happened to the fired-up singer we saw at the start of the season? LaKisha has definitely lost some of her luster. Don’t get us wrong. She still manages to always turn in a good performance, but we’re just not digging her like we used to. It almost seems like her heart’s not in it anymore. Paula: “Donna Summer’s not an easy artist to start out with, and you did her proud.” Our grade: B
Chris Sligh: “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic,” Police. Here’s another hopeful whose star isn’t burning quite as bright these days. Didn’t sound right, and didn’t look comfortable. Gliding along the stage didn’t really help any, either. Is Chris self-destructing right before our eyes? Certainly seems that way. Simon: “To be honest with you, I thought it was a mess.” Our grade: C-
Gina Glocksen: “I’ll Stand by You,” Pretenders. Whoa! Gina rocked the house. We certainly didn’t see that coming. Sounded like we were listening to a Pretenders CD. An absolute stunner that had the house on its feet — and rightfully so. Randy: “I thought this was one of your best performances ever.” Our grade: A
Sanjaya Malakar: “Bathwater,” No Doubt. No, no, no! We can’t take this anymore. Sanjaya is a joke, and it’s a travesty that he’s still in this competition. Sounded awful, as usual. Looked atrocious, as usual. The Mohawk was quite possibly the most tragic hairdo in the history of our great nation. Seems to be getting really cocky. Not a very endearing quality. Simon: “I don’t think it matters anymore what we say. I think you are in your own universe.” Our grade: D
Haley Scarnato: “True Colors,” Cyndi Lauper. We don’t care what others are saying. Haley rocks — and she’s a definite contender. Smooth sound and a great look. A little too safe? Probably. We’ll find out Wednesday whether that was a shrewd move on her part. Simon: “I think it was sweet, but forgettable really.” Our grade: B-
Phil Stacey: “I’ll Be Watching You,” Sting. We find it hard to watch Phil. There’s something very creepy about him. Blunt, but true. Musically, he’s not half bad. Tries a little too hard. But is he “Idol” material? We say no. Randy: “I actually kinda liked that. I thought it was a pretty solid performance for you.” Our grade: B
Melinda Doolittle: “Heaven Knows,” Donna Summer. Absolutely amazing. We once again urge the judges to end this fiasco and crown her the winner. Melinda totally gets into any song she performs. And the best part? She’s modest. A performer without a trace of ego. We absolutely love that. You go, girl! Simon: “Vocally you were outstanding, as usual.” Our grade: A+
Blake Lewis: “Love Song,” The Cure. There’s another side to Blake. A tame side. A side we haven’t seen before. And we really, really like it. That versatility is going to help him make it to the very end. If we were to place a bet today, we’d say Blake and Melinda will be the final two. Paula: “Blake, I loved what you did with the song. I thought it was so cool.” Our grade: A-
Jordin Sparks: “Hey Baby,” No Doubt. We love this song. When it comes on the radio, we pump up the volume. But when Jordin sings it? Not so much. Lacked energy. Moves weren’t that great, and neither were the duds. Overall, a pretty lame performance for this late in the competition. Simon: “I think you are probably the most improved contestant we’ve seen.” Our grade: D
Chris Richardson: “Don’t Speak,” No Doubt. We think Chris is homesick. That’s the only logical explanation for tonight’s performance. He must want to go home. He’s no Gwen Stefani, that’s for sure. And listening to him try to emulate her made us nauseous. So. Very. Weak. Simon: “I wasn’t crazy about the vocals. I think you struggled in the middle of that song.” Our grade: F
Our pick to get the boot is Chris Richardson. He was in the bottom two last week, and this week’s performance certainly won’t help any. Jordin’s also vulnerable. Sanjaya? Right or wrong, he’s going to be around at least a few more weeks. God help us all.
Comments
By Cya
March 28, 2007 1:55 AM | Link to this
If you are voting for Sanjaya to stay you fit into one of three categories: A) u r 16 or under and think he is sooo cool for per4ming and changing his soooper cool hair - despite the obvious lack of talent B) you are over 16 and want to pretend you are clever and subversive by voting for a no-talent hack, you know to disrupt the whole system, man, cuz its all bs, man, those dudes are total sell-outs, every season dude (and I’ve watched them all and still vote, even though they are total sell-outs, man) C) you are a bitter no talant hack yourself and want to prove it by advancing a more talented no talent hack so you can feel better about yourself and your lack of talent (i.e. you identify with the losers behind vftw, who fit into category B)
Any other options? No? Good.
By austinights
March 28, 2007 2:12 AM | Link to this
Have we all forgotten William Hung from AI past? This guy was a horrible singer, yet somehow he still manages to have some success several years later. This Sanjaya kid is definitely not AI worthy, but if you plan to let America vote - then you get what you paid for. If I were this guy…milk it for all its worth, because the crazier it can become the more money you can make. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are shooting video on the side or some exec somewhere is already thinking of an AI spinoff reality show following the daily actions of this poor kid - who has $$$ written all over his marketing future.
By Suzie@
March 28, 2007 7:30 AM | Link to this
Of course, it’s not about talent. It’s about the producers stacking the odds in favor of the few that can sell the most records. Why do you think all the guys are so weak? They want a female to win this year! Seriously, those are the best guys in the country? Doubt it. If they want to screw with us…screw right back… vote Sanjaya!
By Todd
March 30, 2007 7:52 PM | Link to this
Haley sux, my sister put it best “she is like runner up for Miss Arkansas, just too wholesome & boring!” Chris Richardson is wonderful, y’all are so off and lame, Jardin also rules! Blake & LaKisha are overrated! Personally I intend to vote… Sanjaya!
Why not, I am tired of lame Simon telling us what talent is… Taylor wasn’t and don’t get me started on the other winners. Rebel America… vote Sanjaya!
And vote for all the lamest forevermore!!!
By C-RICHFAN
April 1, 2007 7:47 AM | Link to this
Chris Richardson is amazing. He’s the whole package, beautiful voice, charisma, charm, hot looks, etc. etc. You guys are wrong about him. You should realize he has a HUGE fan base… and not from just the teenyboppers; I’m 46! Check out his fan sites; he’s not going anywhere anytime soon!