TV Talk

Fall TV Sneak Preview: ABC (Part 2)

Is it just me, or does ABC have about 68 new fall shows?

It sure seems that way. It kinda feels like I've been watching ABC's new fall lineup since the Nixon Administration fell out of favor. But I'm all done now. So, here's a brief lowdown on what ABC has to offer.

Help Me Help You: Ted Danson is a therapist who helps people with all sorts of personal issues, but, of course, he's just as screwed up as his patients. While the set-up is straight-up Sitcom 101, Danson and a talented supporting cast -- including Malcolm in the Middle's Jane Kaczmarek -- make it work. The funniest show I've seen so far.

Notes from the Underbelly: An underwhelming comedy about a couple (Peter Cambor, Jennifer Westfeldt) coping with the awesome responsibility of rapidly approaching parenthood. He wanted kids. She didn't. She changed her mind, so now they are. Guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship.

The Nine: Nine strangers are in a bank. There's a bank robbery gone wrong and a 52-hour hostage standoff. People die and lives are changed forever. That's the set-up for this intriguing drama that promises to reveal what actually happened in those 52 hours with 10-minute, Lost-like flashbacks. The Nine starts off more like The Slow, but it does pique your interest.

Six Degrees: What's up with all of these multi-character dramas? You'll need a scorecard this fall to keep track of everyone. Six Degrees comes from J.J. Abrams (Lost, Alias) and is about six strangers whose lives interconnect in a Crash sort of way. Again, another novel pacing-like show that doesn't actually grab you by the lapels and scream, "Watch me!" But it's from Abrams, whose done some great work on Lost and Alias and who just directed some little movie with Tom Cruise, so give it a shot. I know I will.

Men in Trees: Sex and the City meets Northern Exposure. Anne Heche is a renowned, big city relationship coach who makes a serious life change and decides to live in a small Alaskan town after her hubby-to-be is unfaithful. So, instead of writing books and walking down the aisle, Heche's Marin Frist is battling raccoons in her hotel room and marveling at how single men "are all over like a bad rash."

Big Day: Oh, shoot. I forgot to watch this one. Sorry. Well, it's a comedy and is being described as 24 meets Father of the Bride. The series, which stars The Practice's Marla Sokoloff and Four King's Josh Cooke, will follow the wedding plans for an entire season. Wonder if they'll be any terrorists involved.

Next up...The CW.

That's that new network that used to be UPN and The WB.

Fall TV Sneak Preview: ABC (Part 1)

'Sup, fellow bloggers. It was a busy weekend for me. Which means I only found enough time to watch two of ABC's new shows. Although I'm on vacation this week, I'll get to the rest later today or tonight. I promise.

Betty the Ugly: More like Betty the Unfunny. You know a show's in trouble when the person who's watching it asks, "Is this supposed to be a comedy?" America Ferrera (The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants) stars as Betty, a slightly overweight, Plain Jane, braces-wearing woman with a hideous fashion sense. How hideous? I'm talking garish ponchos and black -- black! -- stockings! Now, none of that would be a problem for Betty, but since she's a lowly editorial assistant at a Glamour-like fashion mag where everyone's ridiculously gorgeous and a size minus three, well, our plucky heroine becomes a source of ridicule. While Ferrera is a winningly appealing lead -- you can't help but root for her -- her show rarely makes you laugh -- or chuckle. And that last time I checked, that's what a comedy is supposed to do.

Let's Rob...: The perfect title since ABC is blatantly robbing from NBC's wonderfully kooky My Name Is Earl. A long-time janitor (Grounded for Life's Donal Logue) is tired of his dead end job. So, he does what most frustrated employees do: he recruits a band of affable misfits to rob Mick Jagger so he can finance his dream of opening a bar. They even wear T-shirts and call themselves "The Knights of Prosperity." Let's Rob...isn't as funny or charming as Earl. No show could duplicate Earl's loopy craziness. But Let's Rob...gives it a good shot and is worth a look.

Fall TV Sneak Preview: CBS

OK, I watched three of CBS new shows this morning. Here's my quick report.

The Class: It's funny how a show can go from bad to so-so to pretty good in the span of 18 minutes. I was ready to skip Class, a comedy about a group of twentysomethings who have known each other since being in the same third grade class, minutes after turning it on. Why? Well, when you're not laughing much, that's normally not good. At first blush Class looked like another one-note comedy that featured a bunch of half-baked jokes. Wisely, however, it appears as if the writers are more interested in creating a character-based comedy that's willing to tackle such real-life issues as depression while still making us laugh -- and care.

Shark: Just like I thought -- James Woods doesn't disappoint as Sebastian Stark, a snarling, cutthroat attorney who'd send his own mom to The Big House if it meant keeping his perfect record in tact. Woods doesn't simply chew the scenery, he devours it while yelling such lines like, "Your job is to win! Justice is God's problem." How dedicated is Stark to his profession? Dig this...he has a mock courtroom -- in his own house! Believe me, you won't be able to take your eyes off Woods. You can almost see the veteran big screen actor rehearsing his Emmy speech (it would be his third) inside his head while he's barking his lines.

Jericho: What hath Lost wrought? Jericho, that's what, a snoozer drama about a small Kansas town that's plunged into chaos after a mysterious nuclear mushroom cloud appears. Are the residents of the itty bitty town the last people left on earth? Will they continue to fight over gas like we do in Florida when the power has been out for a few days? Will viewers really care? Invasion, ABC's alien invasion drama, didn't exactly set any ratings records last fall. That's not good news for the producers of this series. While CBS is clearly trying to piggyback on the success of that plane survivors trapped on a weird island drama, Jericho doesn't get off to such a hot start.

Get Ready For A Fall TV Sneak Preview

Are you dying for a fall TV sneak preview?

Of course you are. Well, that's where I come in. In three weeks, I'll be on my way to La-La-Land to hobnob -- and grill -- the stars of the new fall shows at the Summer TV Press Tour. But before I fly to the lovely Ritz-Carlton Hotel in the even lovelier Pasadena, Calif., I must plow through over 30 new show pilots -- 25 of which will probably be canceled before Halloween.

So, if you want the early inside scoop on which shows you should watch, which you should TiVo and which you should skip entirely, keep reading my daily blog where I'll report my findings.

I'm gonna go by network, people. And I'm starting with CBS on Friday. Why CBS? Because James Woods is starring in Shark as a cocky defense attorney who decides to become a cocky prosecutor. I figure anything starring the scary intense James Woods can't be too boring.

'The Apprentice': The Playa Wins

So The Playa beat The Kid on The Apprentice. Not much of a shocker -- or a finale. Sure, The Donald tried to build suspense by announcing he hadn't made up his mind if he wanted to hire Sean, the pretty boy from London or Lee, the scrawny kid from Brooklyn.

Who was he kidding?

Trump made up his mind months ago, I'm sure. Nothing against Lee, who has a world of potential, but Sean is older, has much more corporate experience and is a charismatic (and extremely flirty!) leader. Plus he has good hair!

While the finale was only 90 minutes, it seemed more like 90 days since everyone already knew how it was going to end. You know, like Titanic. Still, there were a few funny moments. I cracked up when former Beverly Hills, 90210 pretty boy Jason Priestley was forced to eat a huge slice of humble pie when he showed up at Denis Leary's charity hockey game. "And just what is your name?" asked the clueless chick at the check-in table. You could almost see the steam coming out of Jason's ears. Hey, but that's what happens after your hit show dies and you can barely get arrested. I also loved watching My Name Is Earl's Jaime Pressly pulling a hilarious, bug-eyed Joy moment by calling Lenny The Russian "Apprentice Boy" for botching yet another simple task.

Speaking of Lenny, was I the only one who had no idea what he was saying when Trump asked him why he should hire Lee? At first I thought Lenny babbled something about goats. Since that made no sense, I activated my trusty closed caption. But even the closed caption was confused. It said Lenny muttered "goal." That didn't make any sense, either. I finally figured out he was talking about "gold." At least I think that's what he was talking about. Anyway, it was funny and made me scratch my head even more and wonder why Lee picked Lenny to be on his team.

The best sight of the night was Randal. The man looked like new and old money. And he was wearing more bling than P. Diddy. You could tell Randal learned a thing or two from Trump when he started hawking his website like he was on a late-night infomercial.

It was obvious that last night's boring finale paled in comparison to last season's. But that's what happens when the ending is a foregone conclusion and you have two finalists who don't really deserve the gig.

'The Sopranos' season finale

Looking for Kevin's blog entry on the final Sopranos episode? It's right here.

Right after I finished writing my summer TV preview (it's running in Wednesday's Palm Beach Post, fellow bloggers) I jumped on the horn to see what my New York buddy thought of the season finale of The Sopranos. After all, it's what everyone's buzzing about today.

"It was so disappointing," she said. "Why does (creator) David Chase keep doing this to us?"

Well, because he can, quite frankly. HBO has given the almighty Chase that much power and creative freedom. If Chase told HBO he needed 10 years to produce a single season, the HBO suits would probably say something like, "Take all the time you need there, Dave. No rush. We can always air Arli$$ repeats, buddy."

My friend was so frustrated because she didn't think a lot happened last night. (I disagree, but more on that in a sec.) The show, she said, didn't feel like a season finale because there was no jaw-dropping, 24-like climax that kept viewers on the edge of their couches. But that's never been The Sopranos' M.O. Chase is famous -- or infamous, depending on who's talking -- for never tying up loose ends and dragging stories on forever. No season has ever ended with a big, Oh-my-God-I-can't-believe-what-I-just-saw stunt. I didn't expect one last night.

But even without such a juicy cliffhanger, I found several storylines intriguing. Like AJ, for instance, becoming a man right before my eyes when he kindly bribed three street toughs to stop harassing Blanca, his hot new Puerto Rican squeeze. Unlike his mafia boss dad, who would've used his beefy mitts to get his way, AJ offered a bike and a soothing tone instead. And AJ sure looked mighty comfortable and dad-like with Blanca's 3-year-old kid. There's nothing like a hot mamma to bring out the best in a horny teen boy.

I also loved watching the luminous Julianna Marguiles as the drug-addicted, sex-loving real estate agent, Julianna. Talk about a revelation. Nice plot twist I never saw coming. Marguiles is still best know for her role as the emotionally troubled chief nurse Carol Hathaway on ER. But she clearly opened some eyes with her showy role on The Sopranos. Both Julianna and Chris-ta-fahhhh were both sweet and tragic at the same time as they lay entwined together in a narcotics-induced stupor.

The finale, in part, also came full circle. After Phil, or as Tony hilariously calls him, "the Shah of Iran," had a heart attack, Tony talks about the place he went when he was in a coma after Uncle Junior shot him. We all know how Tony came out on the other side a change man. A softer, more compassionate man. "Focus on grandkids and good things," Tony whispers to Phil. "There's plenty for everybody."

And there was plenty for me to enjoy on The Sopranos' finale.

What Makes Me Laugh? NBC's 'Last Comic Standing'

American Idol is gone. So is Survivor. Dancing with the Stars won’t return until the fall. With summer only a few weeks away, once again the networks are looking for the next big reality show that will keep viewers glued to their couches and out of the multiplexes.

In the coming weeks we’ll see everything from Big Brother 7: All Stars (good grief!) to another Bachelor-like reality show on ABC called How To Get The Guy (give me a break!) to Sci Fi Channel’s Who Wants to Be a Superhero (are they kidding?) in which contestants pitch their own superhero to comic book God Stan Lee.

(Read more about the upcoming shows in my Summer TV Preview in Wednesday’s Accent section of The Palm Beach Post.)

One old summer reality show that doesn’t get a lot of buzz but is very funny is NBC’s Last Comic Standing. Basically, it’s American Idol for stand-up comics with a little bit of Big Brother thrown in as the finalists live together in a house. This time, however, the house is the Queen Mary. So, I guess you can say some of The Love Boat has been tossed into the mix, too. But since these cutthroat comics are all vying for the title of Last Comic Standing (the winner gets an exclusive talent contract with NBC and their own comedy special on Bravo), there probably won’t be much lovin’ going on.

Now, most of the comics stink in the early rounds much like the Idol wannabes. But that’s all part of the fun. Even when you stink, you can be funny and make for good reality show television. Like the guy on Tuesday who oddly liked slathering I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter all over himself while wondering why the product isn’t used as a shampoo.

Let’s hope NBC allows Last Comic Standing to finish its run this time. If you recall, the network unceremoniously bumped the show to Comedy Central right before the finale was supposed to air. For the show’s fourth season, Jay Mohr is no longer hosting. Now doing the honors is Anthony Clark, who isn’t very funny and who probably wouldn’t fare very well if he was competing on the show. But Clark has a gig, so he doesn’t have to worry about impressing no stinkin' judges.

Last Comic Standing will never reach American Idol-like heights. I don’t care. For me, the show serves an important purpose. After a long, deadline-filled day at the office, laughing my head off at a bunch of no-name comics is the perfect refresher I need before hitting the sack.

Well, that, and a few glasses of white Merlot.