Leslie Gray Streeter

MTV VMAs: 8:36 - Her hips don't lie!

"My Humps" has been named best hip-hop video, which does not at all surprise me. Fergie is wearing clothing that covers her stomach, which you could grate cheese on. If I had that stomach, I'd always show it, too. So I hate your song. But I feel ya, sis.

The Rock, on whose entire body you could sharpen tools, has a curious hairdo. It's longer that usual, and very straight. Is that his hair or a process? Hope it's not a process. They stink. Literally. (As a survivor or hair relaxers, I speak the truth.) He has introduced Shakira and Wyclef for "Hips Don't Lie," a sexy booty-shaking song that happens to still be clever and seductive, not sleazy (Hi, Fergie!) Shakira is a belly-dancer, you know, and she's in full garb, with other ladies with beautifully bountiful bellies and satin costumes.

You know what I love about this performance, besides the multi-cultural beat and instrumentation, and the pageantry of it? That she's smiling. She doesn't have to frown and look like she's gonna cut you to be serious. That was great. Keep it up.