Leslie Gray Streeter

MTV VMAs: 7:58 - Welcome To My Day-Mare

Oh, geez. I'm preparing to blog non-stop from Pop Stuff headquarters about the MTV Video Music Awards, and already I'm having flashbacks from last year's show. Diddy Diddy Cocoa Pops and his entourage are being interviewed. And when I say "the entourage," I mean that, because Diddy is apparently not speaking.

Really. His crew dude is speaking for him. It reminds me of 7th grade: "Jennifer wants me to tell you she's not speaking to you. She wants you to know that. Seriously. NOT SPEAKING TO YOU."

Of course it's all for effect, but...whatever. His suit is fly, though.

Here's Jay-Z, announcing that the VMAs are back in New York, Yankees cap and all. I hate the Yankees. But that's a great formal looking hat. And again - fly suit.

Timberlake! My buddy Kristi and I are singing "Sexyback" and dancing around the living room like the non-dancing reporters we are. I still think that song is dumb when played on the radio, but when seen live or on video, it's pumping.

Jack Black is hosting, and he's doing his usual bombastic "rock-n-roll will save the world or I'll kick your butt" shtick. He makes me tired. He's in an Evel Knievel outfit and singing some song that contains the word "erection."

Oh, it's gonna be that kind of show, is it?

Lou Reed and the Raconteurs, featuring Jack White, are playing. I love this song, more than I loved more White Stripes songs. Maybe it's more that I love Lou Reed.

A woman in an orange jumpsuit is being led on-stage by police guards. It's... oh my stars, it's Lil' Kim! And her weave is working again! Her boob job is still working too, but the weave is demurely covering them.

Oh, snap! She just claimed that she's bringing "SexyBack!" Did Timberlake hear this? Throwdown! Fight! Fight! Kim is presenting the "Best Male Video award, because in prison "I've been around a lot of girls." He he. She said "Girls."

The winner is: James Blunt, perhaps the least Lil'Kim-like singer ever. I love that song because its self-indulgent whininess reminds me of all that depressing mess I liked in college. The 90s were not a happy time.