Leslie Gray Streeter

A different Journey; Viewapalooza!

The replacement of original Journey singer/shouter Steve Perry with Steve Augeri was always interesting to me because the two sound a heck of a lot alike, and because their names are both Steve. That's a weird coincidence, honestly - I always wondered if they found some guy who sounded like Perry, but his name was Bob or Stanislav or something, and they said "How best to ease this transition and not have to change the name on our Christmas card list? I know! We'll call 'em Steve!"

Anyway, Journey is about to get its first singing non-Steve; Augeri has been dealing with a chronic throat
infection, so Jeff Scott Soto, who has played with Journey guitarist Neal Schon, is filling in starting tomorrow in Bristow, VA. I assume that means we'll be hearing Soto here at Sound Advice on Monday.

So welcome to the game, Jeff! How's your "Open Arms?" That's my jam! You've got some big lunged shoes to fill - when Augeri sang that at SunFest a few years ago, grown men literally wept. Really. The dude next to us had tears streaming down his face, looked at my sister,
who had seen him weeping and said "You just do not understand."

I guess not. But I'm willing to try.

Adjusting "The View": Last week at the Kelly Clarkson show, a friend from another paper stopped by my seat to dish about the Star Jones Reynolds/Barbara Walters smackdown. The former "The View" co-host had been making the rounds to explain her surprise on-air announcement that she was leaving the show.

Apparently, her contract hadn't been renewed, she was the last to know, and she wasn't gonna sit around waiting like a well-dressed, flat-ironed lame duck until she was given the official heave-ho, particularly since the newest future addition to "The View" is Rosie O'Donnell, who has said many nasty things about Star.

First of all...right on, Sistah. I mean, really. If your employer does not renew your contract, and then hires some woman who can't stop slagging you, they're obviously not worried about hurting your feelings. So...what? Star's supposed to sit around and smile and listen to Joy and Elizabeth natter on about some stupid mess every day when there's a silent invisible sign blinking over her head? A sign that says "Gets To Stepping?"

I haven't been a "View" fan since after about a year of regular viewing, it became obvious that they were all just talking over each other and trying to be cute - Behar, particularly, has this maddening way of saying something purposely obnoxious, seemingly just to start something, and then, if nobody comments, saying it again louder, like a three-year-old who's just yelled "POOPIE!" at Christmas dinner and then yells it again, extra loud, just to make sure people heard her.

But that doesn't mean I don't take notice when they run off one of their co-hosts and then act like she's
betrayed them by not taking her slow, slow death like a good little girl. Star left with as much grace and dignity as you can when you've been publically smacked upside the head. And grace has not always been her strong suit, so I give her some credit.

"The View," already down one host between Meredith Viera's departure and Rosie's arrival, quickly filled the hole temporarily with "One Life To Live" and Broadway musical "The Color Purple" star Renee Elise Goldsberry. Former "Moesha" and current "America's Got Some Explaining To Do" judge Brandy is coming up, which led me intially to believe that they're trying to fill the Black Girl Seat.

But then I found out that Susan Lucci, Kelly "Shut Up, John O'Hurley" Monaco, blandish "American Idol" runner-up Katharine McPhee and Shannen Doherty (!) are also in the rotation. I say, hire a black woman. Or a Latino. Or an Asian. And don't get mad at me - there are no other racial minorities on the panel, and like it or not, shoving Star off and replacing her with someone white sends the message "Minorities need not apply."

Not that the racial make- up of "The View" is a Congressional issue - this is a fairly silly show we're talking about. But it's a show a lot of people of every race watch.

And this is not some quota thing - you want to represent America and the people who watch your show? You're already including Rosie, who is gay. And there oughta be gay women on a show like that, because there are people of all different sexualities watching "The View."

To have a completely non-racially diverse panel? Dumb. So here are my non-solicited suggestions:

- Jody Watley. Every year, I suggest that "American Idol" replace Paula Abdul and her increasingly
incoherent self with Miss "Don't You Want Me," because they're both '80s pop fluff stars, and because
"Don't You Want Me" was my jam, right after "Open Arms." I don't know what Jody's up to these days,
or if she wants to do this. But last time I saw her, she was still hot. And made a lot more sense than
Paula Abdul. Or Joy Behar, half the time.

- Tamara Tunie. If we're going with soap stars, you oughta look at this gorgeous, talented, and shockingly underused "As The World Turns" star (you might also know her as the medical examiner on "Law And Order: Special Victims Unit"). She's poised, smart and, on second thought, too talented
for this show. Never mind. She's fierce, though.

- Victoria Rowell. This "Young And The Restless" star is also too good for this mess, but would class up the joint, and probably not take any of Joy and Rosie's overbearing stuff. And she's got the best
hair on daytime.

- Me. I'd probably only make one commercial break before I wanted to cry from all the shouting. But every day I'm on national TV would be one more day that I get discovered and finally become rich enough to buy my mama a house. All the NBA players are doing it! Besides, I've never claimed to be that classy.