Leslie Gray Streeter

Welcome to the big Oscar pre-show party, Ya'll!

5:30 p.m.: Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons...Sorry, wrong pop culture reference! How about this? I'm here for the party! My girl Best Friend Nikki is here for the party! Ryan Seacrest is on E!, here for his party, at the swankalicious Hollywood Roosevelt, which is where your very own Flick Chick stayed during her fun trip to LaLa Land.

RyRy is trying to be funny, talking about Jessica Alba's suing "Playboy" for implying that she posed for them by putting her on the cover. I'm no huge big fan of her acting, because, well...her acting, but she's really got a case. Sue, sue, sue. Change your name to Sue if you have to.

Guiliana the hostess cupcake and Isaac "Fondlerella" Mizrahi are killing time by flirting/asking each other what they're wearing/being stupid. Yawn. Bring on the stars. Even the cheesy ones. Isn't there some sort of Baldwin we can talk to?

5:47 : John Legend and Shorty McSeacrest are the same height, which is interesting, because I saw John Legend as he walked by the lowly print reporters on the White Carpet of Pretentiousness at the MTV VMAs, pretending we weren't there. And he's short. I'm not just saying that.

Apparently, John is not going to the Oscars, because he wasn't invited, but is playing at Elton John's after party. And you know the after party is where the real stuff goes down. The seating chart that RyRy is showing him says he is at the table with Elton and hubby David, Sharon Stone and...wait for it...Axl Rose. Why? Was Al B. Sure not available?

5:50: Isaac Mizrahi has told Jennifer Jason Leigh that he was cruising her husband, "Best Original Screenplay" nominee and "The Squid and the Whale" director Noah Baumbach.

Isacc. Shut up.

Apparently there aren't a lot of people there yet, because Ryan is doing the promotional flogging bit interviewing sister station Style's "How Do I Look?" star Finola Hughes. Finola can present herself as a fashionista Dr.Phil all she wants, but she'll always be "General Hospital"'s Anna Devane to me. So remember that when you're making moms from Minnesota cry when you make them throw away their 80s mesh Flashdance shirts.

The evening's first fight...Best Friend Nikki thinks that Halle Berry's 2005 Oscar hair was a weave. I saw no. Weave or no weave? We'll be taking a poll.You'll want to get in on this, America.

Guiliana...shut up.