Leslie Gray Streeter

7:28 Oscar Time: The Keanu Train chugs on!

Sandy and Neo are talking to Isaac. Now her cheeks look like she has impatigo. And you know that ain't good.

Guiliana just said "So many stars, so many stars," and she sounded just like Donatella Versace, swimming in a lake of martinis. But without the fun hair.

I'm done with them. Cythnia is on ABC actually interviewing Terrence Howard and his cute little baby son, asking him why people love his pimp character DJay. And it's because he's a dreamer, Terrence said. You know, Vince Neil said that once, too. Because he's on his way-hay-hay, he's on his way-hay-hay. Home sweet home.

Oh shut up. Axl Rose is hanging around. I can make hair metal jokes.

Chris Connelly's talking to Jennifer Aniston, who's fabulous, and who looks relieved that the words "Brangelina" or "Vince" never left his lips.

Matt Dillon. Man, he hasn't made it inside yet? He was tolerating the Keebs over on E! like an hour ago. He just used the words "toxic bile" to desribe his rancid "Crash" character. He is so smart.

Here's a montage using Garth Brooks' "The Dance," which always makes me curl into a fetal ball and sob. Remember that episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine was dating that guy who used to make everybody stop talking so he could emote during "Desperado?" I kinda get like that. But I can admit that, because I feel like we're cool.

So could you post on here so I know you're out there? I'm about to call my baby cousins and ask them to just log on and nap on the keyboard so I know somebody's out there? I'm a delicate flower, doncha know.