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By HeeHaw

April 10, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

Hopefully BM (how appropriate, sure has smelled in here) got arrested in the BigStakesPoker bust.

By Lyrazel

April 10, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

O come back to reality people! PAGEANTS ARE ABOUT MONEY!!!

Beauty pageants are a relic of the past and gradually fading into history like milk delivery at home. But the audience for such shows are not watching, thus beauty pageants are being scrapped by networks. All TV shows are on to sell product—not for the amusement of its audience—thus if a show does not garner an audience—bye.

As for D. Trump remember the man owns big casinos that need spectacles to compete with other casinos—he was no more concerned with the morality of the chosen woman as he cared for the profit of the show. If some winner is reveled as a junkie it reflects poorly on the pageant and on his future profit to sell the pageant to a network. He is bold and brassy for a calculated reason—his brashness attracts audiences to watch him—people=money—and now most people in America know Trump’s name. He is a P.T. Barnum and TV audiences are the suckers born every minute. He made millions off TV audiences and corporations that fund TV shows with their advertising $$$ love his brash presence because it sells their product. He has never claimed to be the moral bellwether of the USA or any kind of moral representative which makes me wonder WHO cast him in that role? I never did, did you?

Ask yourself if you hired an employee and she was revealed to be an under-age binge drunk and pill popper off work—would you discipline that employee if she was caught? Would you fire her? Happens all the time. That she was Miss America though oddly really reflects America. Binge drinking on campus (even BYU has problems) is perpetuated by sport events whose sponsors are liquor companies, teens go to concerts sponsored by liquor companies, tobacco companies and pill manufacturers. So was this woman’s behavior actually reflecting America’s TRUE soul but we the public dont want to know how pervasive such behavior is among our youth?

I used to want a Mr. America pageant—where boys in tiny speedos strut their package as they paraded past ogling hormone imbalanced menopausal female judges and the female audience panting at their TVs as the contestants accidentally showed a little neck. Maybe thats why I watch swimming competition of Olympics….always hoping for that free peek a boo. Women are no better at morality than men.

By lozen

April 10, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Good morning all. Eleanor your 4:53 post yesterday was excellent. And lovelyliz, “the moral vanguard Donald Trump” made me laugh too. Archie the male equivalent of “who..” is “freak”? I just call them “who..s” too.

By Archie

April 10, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

Women are no better at morality than men

That’s true Lyrazel. Also you can look at the Mr. America contest and see guys in very small drawers to your heart’s content. It is a bodybuilding contest and the guys do nothing except display their bodies. There is a guy named Lee Haney that lives in Atlanta or lived there at one time, well, he won Mr. Olympia 8 times.

Also, to this Bono character, I have never referred to you in any of my posts. I basically pay no attention to you.

By JustIn

April 10, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Looks like the New York Bar A*’n may not like the fact that a potential female lawyer, not yet out of law school, did a Playboy video: It reflects bad character?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2007/04/10/2007-04-10itsjurisimprudence-2.html

By Archie

April 10, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Lozen,yes, men who are sex addicts are called freaks. I said this before that sex addiction is a bad condition and it’s not a cute thing. Kirk Franklin suffered for years with it and many men have the problem but won’t acknowledge it because of the culture they come from.Men don’t always celebrate being promiscuous. I know you(Lozen) are older so please understand men are now trying to address problems when they can. Times are changing but it takes time and yes men are called w******* too.

By Joe L

April 10, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

“Someone responded to my earlier post with a true lack of knowledge so it’s nice to see someone respond with facts.”

A code of BUSINESS ETHICS is not a moral clause. These are rules directly connected to the performance and quality of your work. A MORAL clause would be if you got fired from your job for getting a divorce. The only jobs I know of that have moral clauses are private religious schools and yes some big-time sports coaches. That’s about what 0.1% of jobs?

By lozen

April 10, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Archie, Bono is just one of the dozens of aliases used by that dog man. He can catch us off guard and get us to respond to him by constantly changing his name; he knows we’ll ignore him to death otherwise! ;- )

By lozen

April 10, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

I went with a friend recently to have an HIV/AIDS test due to one passionate moment of indiscretion. She was frightened to death, but she was negative thank goodness. What I came away from that with is the fact that noone is safe. Married women who think they are safe are not because they really don’t know who their husband might be fooling around with. Everyone should use protection all the time, even married people! Ever seen one of those female condoms? Yuk. I think I’ll just pass. I have many friends who are closed for business due to the possibility of disease. The world has changed and there are a lot of ppl out there who are in denial.

By Archie

April 10, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Thanks Lozen for 11:06 am post. Monica used the term ethics but she also provided a link and on that page in standard ten the term morals is used to describe a broad range of behavior. Unless you know all of the jobs in America I don’t think you can argue that they do not have a morals clause in place. I only pointed out a few to make the point they do exist.

By Lyrazel

April 10, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Archie, I never got all sweaty for body builders. Met some. One was cleaning a rifle and on a dare stuck his finger down in the barrel to see if it fit and had to be taken to the hospital…he found out at the hospital the gun was loaded. Duh????

Men don’t always celebrate being promiscuous. Thats true! I have a brother who loathes promiscuity in this society. He follows his words with his actions.

JoeL:The only jobs I know of that have moral clauses are private religious schools and yes some big-time sports coaches. That’s about what 0.1% of jobs?

Well, how about drug testing. Isnt the requirement to pass a p** test before garnering employment a moral clause? I would say because of p** tests: 80% of businesses some kind of moral clause.

By Lily Toad

April 10, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Beauty pageants are archaiac as are chaparones so they deserve each other.

By Joe L

April 10, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this

Drugs are ILLEGAL and affect your work performance. Again nothing MORAL about it. It’s about legality and direct effects on the conduct of business. There are reams and reams of statistics that show the increase in accidents, workplace issues, and absentism with drug use that show it’s a complete business decision.

Archie - You didn’t say there are a few jobs here and there with moral clauses, you essentially acted as if they are commonplace. They are far, far from commonplace.

By Archie

April 10, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

Thank you,Lyrazel for your 11:43 am post. I don’t always agree with Lozen and Lyrazel but both of you are sincere and mature in your posts. I really wish I could hear more from Renee,JBM, and 72John but I think the trolling has run them off.

Also, Lyrazel I am glad you posted about your brother because there are lots of guys like that and yet there are men that struggle. My answer to the topic question is yes Lyrazel only because the participants know what the job entails before entering the contest. Good job Lyrazel.

By Brian Curtis

April 10, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

JoeL: Then how about the drugs that don’t affect your workplace performance? Why should they test for those, violating your privacy in the process?

By Archie

April 10, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Joe L they are commonplace as I see it and many others see it that way. You have to put a numerical qualification on our argument to say that it’s not commonplace, just to use your term. Joe L I would be willing to bet that these two writers(Shanti and Diane) can’t work at a strip club and still write this column. Joe L perhaps we should just agree to disagree because I can’t possibly post each and every conduct code on each and every job, but since we were originally posting about the topic question I think if you are Miss America there should be a morals clause in effect but I don’t think the pageant should look at what you did years prior to the pageant because we all know people change. Our current president was/is an alcoholic. Our previous president was an adulterer and a draft-dodger. Some of the presidential candidates have admitted to using drugs. All of the behavior occurred in the past,i.e. before they were running for office.

By Scalia

April 10, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

Lyrazel…check out the Mr. Venezuela competition on Univision. The latino men…packages galore. It’s nice. And they come in every size, shape, and color.

And men are not held to the same standard as women when it comes to promiscuity. Many men have done reprehensible things are still manage to get off.

By Jack

April 10, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Joe L. In some companies, a DUI can get you fired, getting caught dealing drugs can get you fired. Are these “business ethics”?

Lyrazel. I ROTFLMAO at the “little neck” comment!

By ????

April 10, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Archie, you didn’t know I work part-time at the Pink Pussycat? Shaunti

By Joe L

April 10, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

“In some companies, a DUI can get you fired” - Only companies that require you to drive and thus insure you, therefore you are affecting DOLLARS AND CENTS which is a business decision. I’ve already addressed the numerous business issues attached to drug use.

A “morality” clause would be one where behavior that has NO impact on the business is used to fire you based on what the business feels is “immoral” (not ILLEGAL) behavior. When you constantly bring up ILLEGAL behaviors you are not addressing A MORAL clause.

Personally I have mentioned the only two jobs where I have ever heard this applied and I think it’s highly disingenous to act like morality clauses are commonplace.

By NetBanker

April 10, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

O come back to reality people! PAGEANTS ARE ABOUT MONEY!!! Lozen…spoken like a true believer of my philosophy which is what? “Follow the money”

• So was this woman’s behavior actually reflecting America’s TRUE soul but we the public dont want to know how pervasive such behavior is among our youth?* Excellent question and I suspect that the truth of the matter is that we all want to pretend that our youth do not party and carry on the way we did in our own youth. We don’t want to mess with America’s bliss (as in ignorance is bliss)

• used to want a Mr. America pageant—where boys in tiny speedos strut their package* Me too!! Of course now that warmer weather is here all you have to do is find an apartment or condo complex that is predominantly gay and just hang out by their pool. ~wink~

By Monica

April 10, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

You know, Hee Haw might be right about dog the poker player! Check out the story: 27 arrested in high stakes poker bust

By NetBanker

April 10, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

OMG! Sorry Lyrazel…I got the wrong poster, but my sentiments are still the same. Ok…back to meeting land here!

By Jack

April 10, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

It was 10k for a seat. I doubt Dog has that kind if moola.

By Jack

April 10, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

Well Joe. You don’t know squat. It’s called code of conduct. If you know anyone in the phone biz ask them. If not, continue living in your fantasyland.

By HeeHaw

April 10, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

I doubt Dog has that kind if moola.

but Dog LOOSES that kind of moola.

By Joe L

April 10, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Again if this code of conduct applies to your business behavior that’s not a morality clause. I still have yet to see anyone present more than the two very limited cases.

Care to tell me what in this “code of conduct” is about MORALITY and not business?

By Archie

April 10, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Because everybody’s talent contract with a television station has a personal services contract, and there’s a morals clause. If you do anything — or are perceived to do anything — that insults or offends the public morals, they have a right to cancel the contract

That came from an article about a weatherman. Even race car drivers have the words “moral turpitude” written into their contracts.

Also there was a story about a guy who failed nicotine test and was fired and there was a story about a gay guy who someone thought went to an orgy, it seems the following year everyone signed moral clauses as part of their employment contracts at the company where they gay guy works. A lot of people are at-will-employees meaning they can fired for just about anything. Most contracts between cities and their chief executives include some form of morals clause.

All of those sentence are not my words but it’s what I found out doing research while waiting on some things here at work.

By Mara

April 10, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Jack & Joe - whether “morality clauses” are common or not is pretty irrelavent. I don’t know how many jobs require the signing of these “morality clauses” but we’re not talking about an employment situation. We’re talking about a contest. Pretty much ALL contests have some type of eligibility requirement. Pageants have settled on defining a level of what they consider “moral behavior” and expect the contestants to adhere to those requirements. Much as they have rules requiring the girls to look a certain way, to have won a certain number of other pageants, or some such stuff.

What I can’t decide is whether the presence of a “chaperone” is more amusing or appalling. I’m somewhat appalled simply because it illustrates how out-dated their definition of “moral behavior” must be that they need “minders” to keep these otherwise exemplary women in line.

On the other hand, it’s rather amusing. They want someone who looks like Kate Moss and acts like June Cleaver. Instead, they get Kate Moss the model without the June Cleaver prudishness so they have to have a soviet-style “minder” to ensure that the illusion doesn’t get shattered like an cheap shot glass LOL!!!

By Archie

April 10, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

On the other hand, it’s rather amusing. They want someone who looks like Kate Moss and acts like June Cleaver. Instead, they get Kate Moss the model without the June Cleaver prudishness so they have to have a soviet-style “minder” to ensure that the illusion doesn’t get shattered like an cheap shot glass LOL!!!

They are not quite that strict Mara. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you engage in legal behavior while,while participating in that contest. The Nfl just kicked out a guy for a year for his behavior. Mara this guy was a clown and really needed a wakeup call. Most bloggers know I am not a prude but even I know if I work a certain job I have to adhere to certain conduct off the job. Anyway good job Mara of trying to bring some peace to the discussion.

By lozen

April 11, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

Anybody need any information about how to get free ringtomes? It’s getting harder and harder to scroll thru all this sh.t to find your posts! Dog goes away (praise the goddess!) and is replaced by spam! This blog … Geez.

By HeeHaw

April 11, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Dog goes away (praise the goddess!) and is replaced by spam

Dog probably did not go away, he just does not have any friends who would bail him out of jail.

By Free The Roswell 27

April 11, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Hopefully BM (how appropriate, sure has smelled in here) got arrested in the BigStakesPoker bust.

Damn, guys, can you believe it? One second I’m reaching out to rake in a pot, and the next thing I know some Roswell fuzz has me up against the wall by my little neck. The indignity! Anyway, since I lost the 10 G entry fee, I’m a little short on the bail money. I called lozen last night, but somehow we got disconnected. She must be having phone trouble or something. So anyway, I need you guys to help me out, or I’ll be stuck in here forever. And they only allow two blogs per day.

At any rate, I did have a good idea while sitting here in the slammer. Let’s have a W2W beauty pageant!! String bikinis for the girls, Speedos for the guys. How do you think chuck is going to look in a Speedo?? Now there’s a visual to get your day going.

By The Judge

April 11, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

“Bailiff, whack his pee-pee!”

NOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!

By Free The Roswell 27

April 11, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

So what do you say, Chialo—oops, I mean Hee Haw—-Can yuo help a fellow out with some bail money?

By Free The Roswell 27

April 11, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Geez, you’d think my attorney would cut me a break after all I paid him last year. No frequent flier miles, he told me…

By Free The Roswell 27

April 11, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

So how do you all like Lisa Nowak, the lovesick astronaut? The headline today said they found porn, pills, and weapons in her car. My kind of woman!

By Free The Roswell 27

April 11, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

For the beauty contest, I came up with the following Morals Clauses:

(1) No drinking after 9 AM and before 9:02 PM

(2) No sex during the actual competition. 72John, keep your hands away from Net B!

(3) Any internet photos must be pre-approved by the Mongrel.

By Free The Roswell 27

April 11, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

Oops, that was no drinking after 9 AM and before 9:02 AM. And of course, the normal two positive drug tests minimum will still be enforced.

By Shlt!

April 11, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Damn, I sold my main stock last week (PKD) and now the damn thing is going through the roof. Now I’ll never raise that bail money.

By Shlt!

April 11, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Also, ladies, Jack and I will be handling the after-hours chaperoning. Chilao will be in charge of chaperoning the gay guys.

By This Song Has No Title

April 11, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this

Tune me in to the wild side of life I’m an innocent young child sharp as a knife Take me to the garrets where the artists have died Show me the courtrooms where the judges have lied

Let me drink deeply from the water and the wine Light coloured candles in dark dreary mines Look in the mirror and stare at myself And wonder if that’s really me on the shelf

Take me down alleys where the murders are done In a vast high powered rocket to the core of the sun Want to read books in the studies of men Born on the breeze and die on the wind

If I was an artist who paints with his eyes I’d study my subject and silently cry Cry for my darkness to come down on me For confusion to carry on turning the wheel

And each day I learn just a little bit more I don’t know why but I do know what for If we’re all going somewhere let’s get there soon Oh this song’s got no title just words and a tune

By Rocket Man

April 11, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

She packed my bags last night pre-flight Zero hour nine a.m. And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then I miss the earth so much I miss my wife It’s lonely out in space On such a timeless flight

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time Till touch down brings me round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I’m a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it’s cold as hell And there’s no one there to raise them if you did And all this science I don’t understand It’s just my job five days a week A rocket man, a rocket man

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time…

By Harmony

April 11, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

Hello, baby hello Haven’t seen your face for a while Have you quit doing time for me Or are you still the same spoiled child

Hello, I said hello Is this the only place you thought to go Am I the only man you ever had Or am I just the last surviving friend that you know

Harmony and me We’re pretty good company Looking for an island In our boat upon the sea Harmony, gee I really love you And I want to love you forever And dream of the never, never, never leaving harmony

Hello, baby hello Open up your heart and let your feelings flow You’re not unlucky knowing me Keeping the speed real slow In any case I set my own pace By stealing the show, say hello, hello

By lozen

April 11, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

Goodbye dear WtoW bloggers. Happy trails to you all.

By MrRogers

April 11, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

There goes the neighborhood.

By Aguilar

April 13, 2007 12:32 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By DeweyLDavid

April 13, 2007 3:25 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Donnie

April 13, 2007 5:43 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By SETHU

April 13, 2007 6:13 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By NetBanker

April 13, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

Here’s my contribution for the week:

Only a Southerner……

Only a Southerner knows the difference between

a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you

don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish,

collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc.,

make up “a mess.”

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you

the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly”

is, … as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar”

is not a request for the white, granular sweet

substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the

table.

All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is.

They might not use the term, but they know the concept

well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best

gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is

a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold

potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real

crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference

between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They

also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile

or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the

difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and

po’ white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car

with the flashing turn signal is actually going to

make a turn.

A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun,

a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines

and when we’re “in line”… we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will

discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y’all is singular …. all y’all is

plural

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to

eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,

grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red

eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green

tomatoes are not a breakfast food

When you hear someone say,

“Well, I caught myself lookin’,”

you know you are in the presence of

a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say “sweet tea”

and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need

for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea

unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want

buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream

Obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH

on the freeway. You just say,”Bless her heart”…

and go your own way.

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness As a second language!

And for those who are not from the South but have Lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads “I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.”

Bless your hearts … y’all have a blessed day.

By WomensHealth in the News

April 13, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

A legislative panel on Thursday dropped a measure from an abortion bill that would have made South Carolina the only state to require women to review an ultrasound images of the fetus before terminating a pregnancy.

Because everyone knows that life altering decisions should be made based on emotional pressure. The purpose of the ultrasounds is not to make women more well informed, but to EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE THEM into not aborting.

Just another good reason to keep writing Planned Parenthood checks. They do fantastic work, but the more funding they get (and these days it’s not going to come from the feds), the more they can provide a comprehensive list of services to rival what the “crisis” centers offer. Those groups are very well funded — we have to step up and help out PP.

By Monica

April 13, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Well, bless your heart, Net! Thanks for sharing. Now I have to go cause I’m fixin to teach my class that’s coming in. Y’all come back now, y’hear?

By DAWNCOX667

April 13, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Mischling

April 13, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Guten Morgen, alerseits. Und Guten Morgen mein Spezial-Freund.

Danke, von ganzem Herzen. Du bist wunderschon, beide in die Vordergrundigkeit und in die Seele.

By Ebonics Grammar Police

April 13, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

I’m fixin to teach my class

Um, dat wood be “fittin”, Monica.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Hey, anyone planning on going to my festival this weekend? Pretty cool they named it after Dog, huh? Shame it’s going to rain, though. The ladies may actually have to cover up, bummer! I was looking forward to humping a few legs. : > }

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

The purpose of the ultrasounds is not to make women more well informed, but to EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE THEM into not aborting.

I support legal, safe abortions, WomenInTheNews. However, I don’t think it’s wrong to see the fetus before aborting. Sure it’s emotional, but it is part of “Informed Consent”, wouldn’t you say? I.e. from a legal standpoint, every doctor has an obligation to present all pertinent information to their clients. Why should this not be considered “information”?

Understandably, most women feel bad about their situation already when they seek an abortion, so I’m not trying to pile on here. It just seems that giving a baby a chance at life is worthwhile, when possible. And yes, I know that because I’m a man I’m not allowed to have an opinion on the subject, ok?

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Do you think they got the spam problem fixed, finally?? Lesson learned—never put two women in charge of anything! Just kidding, ladies!!

So, come out and play, W2W bloggers!!!

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

From the movie “Warriors”:

“Warriors” (clicking beer bottles together) “Come out and play!!

That sure was a funny, F-d up movie, no?

By MrRogers

April 13, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

There goes the neighborhood.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

Life Lesson #4319: Don’t ever let anyone tell you that tattoos don’t hurt! That F-er really scraped me good yesterday with the needle. Turned out great, though. Tattoos give your soul a chance to escape to the surface. SO, I guess the pain is part of the ritual after all.

Don’t tell me I’m the only one here with tats? Monica, how many do you have?

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Anyone ever have suspicions about that MrRogers guy? Seemed to like to spend a little too much time with kids. Personally, I can’t stand the little bastards. I want to be the center of attention!!

By JokesOn

April 13, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Hey dog,

Curious: What is up with the a$$-kissing at the beginning of each week only to (knowingly) pi$$ them off at the end of each one also?

Seems like a waste of time as well as being undeserved. These pinheads could not rationalize their way out of a paper bag.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Here’s a link to see a picture of my new tat:

http://www.amazon.com/Cats-Under-Stars-Jerry-Garcia/dp/B000002VFC/ref=pdbbssr_2/103-3410975-0143810?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1176478826&sr=8-2

The artist really nailed the cat for me. When you guys figure out what tats you want, my buddy Jason at Timeless Tattoos will take good care of you.

By JokesOn

April 13, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Tats only hurt after you have no fear of them and therefore do not have the adrenalin flowing.

Have seen it many times. They come in for the first and are surprised that there was little/no pain, and then upon the second visit they feel every prick.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Curious: What is up with the a$$-kissing at the beginning of each week only to (knowingly) pi$$ them off at the end of each one also?

Well, call me a P, buddy, but love is in the air. Gotta straighten up!!

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Seems like a waste of time as well as being undeserved. These pinheads could not rationalize their way out of a paper bag.

Could be—but I’ve got a lot of time to waste right now. Probably will return to work in 4-5 months. Got some serious partying to do first, though?

So, you got any prospects in the female Dept right now?

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

If you want to see something pretty wicked, here’s a picture of my next tat:

http://www.amazon.com/Blues-Allah-Grateful-Dead/dp/B000002VJH/ref=pdbbssr_1/103-3410975-0143810?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1176479306&sr=8-1

I think I’m going to have to get the owner, Cap, to do that one—too complicated for the average artist.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Looks like I won’t get my passport in time to make it to Costa Rica before the rainy season, though. I gave up the mongering many, many years ago anyway.

Where do you like to go on vacation, JokesOn?

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Something about falling in love does turn a man to mush, though. I hope she enjoys it while it lasts—I’ll be my normal bastard self in no time flat, I’m sure.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Talk to you later, dude. Gotta take care of some business.

By chuck

April 13, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Flea bag, did you say you were going to CAP the owner? Isn’t that illegal?

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

Flea bag, did you say you were going to CAP the owner? Isn’t that illegal?

That’s the guys name—He’s won several national awards, in case you didn’t know. Check his work out here:

http://timeless-tattoo.com/cap/gallery01/

So what kind of tat are you going to get, chuck? We could always get you drunk and put the classic “Leviticus” tattoo on you. You”ll never make into heaven then!!

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

But I do appreciate you bailing me out on the poker charge, chuck. lozen wasn’t worth a shlt—I called her 10 times and she just kept hanging up. You’re a true friend indeed!! A true follower of the Golden Rule!!

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

I did have to laugh at a Bible show I watched recently (I think on the History Channel). They were going through the legend of Sodom and Gomorrah and came to the part where Lot’s daughters get him drunk and jumped his bones. In order to put a good spin on the story, the narrator claimed that it was actually nothing more than a Godly act of Love in order to replenish the Earth. I sat there thinking, so that’s where the expression “Incest is best” came from. Hopefully no Lot-like action in your church, chuckie. Did you catch last week where another youth minister was arrested for molesting a boy?? Help us see the light, chuck.

By chuck

April 13, 2007 12:30 PM | Link to this

There are always some interesting shows on History Channel, Discovery, and TLC around easter time. I watched one that was based on the premise that Mary Magdalene was actually the wife of Jesus and that she bore Him a daughter.

It was a load of crap, but I did learn a lot about the early church period up through the crusades watching some of these shows.

You won’t find me anywhere near a tatoo parlor. I don’t like needles at alll and don’t plan on getting one ever.

By lozen

April 13, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

Hey idiot why don’t you have a long winded stupid conversation with yourself all day long? Nobody else is interested obviously.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Hey idiot why don’t you have a long winded stupid conversation with yourself all day long? Nobody else is interested obviously.

C’mon, lozen. You know I love you, sweetie! Just trying to jump start things for you—looked pretty dead this week.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this

I watched one that was based on the premise that Mary Magdalene was actually the wife of Jesus and that she bore Him a daughter.

It was a load of crap, but I did learn a lot about the early church period up through the crusades watching some of these shows.

Don’t overlook the power and importance of Mary Magdalene, chuck. She was the one who was closest to Jesus, the one who came first to his grave. Only she knew what real love was.

I don’t know if you would be open to it, but you really need to get a copy of the soundtrack to “Jesus Christ Superstar”, chuck. I’m serious. If you don’t weep a little, you’re just not a Christian.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:44 PM | Link to this

Here’s the lyrics to Pilate’s Dream.. I’m putting it on my stereo now. Have to take a break and cry a little, ok?

I dreamed I met a Galilean; A most amazing man. He had that look you very rarely find: The haunting, hunted kind. I asked him to say what had happened, How it all began. I asked again, he never said a word. As if he hadn’t heard. And next, the room was full of wild and angry men. They seemed to hate this man. They fell on him, and then Disappeared again. Then I saw thousands of millions Crying for this man. And then I heard them mentioning my name, And leaving me the blame.

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

If you really want to find about Christianity, chuck, quit your church. I’m serious. The man himself said that “Church is where two or three gather in my name”. Anything else is pure BS, IMO. I go to church every day, but it’s not a building.

By Scalia

April 13, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

This blog has become a drag. Where is everybody other than the split-personality person that keeps posting? Do you work?

By Morewomenshealthnews

April 13, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

Washington state -

“Under the new state rule, pharmacists with personal objections to a drug could opt out by getting a co-worker to fill an order. But that would only apply if the patient is able to get the prescription in the same pharmacy visit.”

“Pharmacies would be required to order new supplies of a drug if a patient asks for something that is not in stock.”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18090057/ “Pharmacists are also forbidden to destroy a prescription or harass patients, rules that were prompted by complaints from Washingtonians, chairwoman Rebecca Hille said.”

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this

Also, chuck, because I do love you like a brother, I want t odirect you once again to The Teaching Company. Their Religion courses are very powerful. I have every one they’ve ever made.

Sorry, gotta weep some more. Mary’s singing “I Don’t Know How To Love Him”:

I don’t know how to love him. What to do, how to move him. I’ve been changed, yes really changed. In these past few days, when I’ve seen myself, I seem like someone else. I don’t know how to take this. I don’t see why he moves me. He’s a man. He’s just a man. And I’ve had so many men before, In very many ways, He’s just one more. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love, Let my feelings out? I never thought I’d come to this. What’s it all about?

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 12:58 PM | Link to this

This blog has become a drag. Where is everybody other than the split-personality person that keeps posting? Do you work?

Start posting, Scalia. I’m leaving. Seriously. Take the blog back! Happy trails, lozen. Smooches to all.

By Mara

April 13, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

chuck, next time its on, try and catch “Banned from the Bible”. Great History Channel program about the early wranglings in the church, the first council of Nicea, and an overview on some of the texts deemed unfit for the new orthodox Church. Really very interesting even for an agnostic like me.

lozen - Nobody else wants to talk to him so if he wants to blog, he has to blog to himself. Ignore it and skim on by like the rest of us.

Hi Net, Monica, Mr.Rogers :^)

By Dog-Woody Festival

April 13, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

And no, I don’t work. But I guarantee I’ve put in more hours than any two or three of you combined over your lifetimes. Did you work full time since 12 years old? Pay for your own school clothes and lunches? Finance your own college education? Pay back over $100,000 in business loans on time? Pay back ridiculously high interest rate student loans ahead of schedule? So get cracking, dude. You ain’t got shlt on me.

By MrRogers

April 13, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Hi Mara.

this USED TO BE such a great place.

ah, the good ole days.

By Patrice-Becker386

April 13, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Jeanne

April 13, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By chuck

April 13, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

Hey Mara, I watched that one a couple of months ago. It really was fascinating.

I was in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar in college actually, K-9 disadvantage… and except for the $100,000 business loan part, I did all of those things. I had three paper routes when I was in 7th and 8th grade and threw them all from a bike. One at 5:00 every morning and the other 2 every afternoon after school. 7 days a week. I’ve only spent 3 days without a job since I was 12. AND btw, I’m STILL working. I don’t really believe in retirement. Man was made to work. I expect I will until the day I die. Right now I have 2 jobs and I’m also taking a class.

What’s up Scalia? Haven’t talked to you much lately. We’ve become infested with FLEAS and TICKS.

By chuck

April 13, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

For JOKE FRIDAY!!!

A doctor tells a rich old man that he’s going to die if he doesn’t get a new heart soon. The old man tells the doctor to search the world for the best heart available, money is no object. A few days later the doctor calls the old man and says he has found three hearts but they are all expensive. The old man reminds the doctor that he is filthy rich and implores him to tell him about the donors they came from.

‘Well, the first one belonged to 22 year old marathon runner, never smoked, ate only the most healthy foods, was in peak condition when he was hit by a bus. No damage to the heart, of course. But it costs $100,000!’

The old man waving off the last part about the cost asks the doctor to tell him about the second donor. ‘This one belonged to a 16 year old long-distance swimmer, high school kid. Lean and mean. Drowned when he hit his head on the side of the pool. That heart’ll set you back $150,000!’

‘Okay,’ said the old man, ‘what about the third heart?’

‘Well this one belonged to a 58 year-old man, smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, weighed over 300 pounds, never exercised, drank like a fish… this heart is going for $500,000!!!’

‘Five-hundred grand?!?!’, the old man exclaimed, ‘why so expensive?’

‘Well’, said the doctor, ‘this heart belonged to a lawyer… so it was never used!’

By Mara

April 13, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

yeah, the good ol’ days. Remember when we used to have a full roster of regulars and a nice smattering of occasionals? (sigh) We were all even reasonably civil (barring a couple personal fueds…) to each other, despite our philisophical disagreements. Yeah…it was nice while it lasted.

Hey Scalia.

By chuck

April 13, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words “QUEEN SIZE”.

He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, “Look Granny, YOU wear the same size as our bed!”

By Pretty Doggy

April 13, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

and except for the $100,000 business loan part, I did all of those things.

That may be, but you’re not good-looking like me. ; > }

By chuck

April 13, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent.”

By Mara

April 13, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

well if we’re gonna have Joke Friday…

This guy sees a sign in front of a house, “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.

“You talk?”, he asks.

“Yep”, the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leader, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out. I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down, so I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says “Ten dollars.” The guy says he’ll buy him but asks the owner, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him?”

The owner replies, “Because he’s such a liar.”

By Monica

April 13, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

Yo Ebonics Grammar Police,

“fixin” is a southern word, not an ebonic word. Just so you know. :)

By W2W Beauty Pageant

April 13, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

The Pageant results are in:

For the men, chuck won the “Jr.” Division. The picture of him in his Speedo will be on the internet tomorrow.

In the “OMG” Division, NetB won by a “nose” over 72John. Special mention goes to Mongrel as the only straight man qualified to enter the division.

In the Ladies Divisions, it was declared a tie: All of the ladies here are just too beautiful to choose one over the other. The Miss Congeniality Prize goes to lozen, of course.

By Ebonics Police

April 13, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

Yes, Monica, but this be the ATL, where the cracker is on the run!! So, u need to be teachin things rite: it’s fittin, not fixin. F-I-T-I-N-N

By Ebonics Police

April 13, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

And for your tattoo, Monica, I recommend a little lion on the upper thigh—just where only your hubby can see it. It will have him roaring, I Gar-On-Tee!

By Ebonics Police

April 13, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

And for Mara—to get your hubby’s “motor” running, you could get a MOPAR tattoo. Maybe a John Force likeness. What do you think?

By Goodster

April 13, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

the picture of him in his Speedo will be on the internet tomorrow.

Just don’t bend over with Dog around, you know how they hump anything with a hole.

By Ebonics Police

April 13, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this

Just don’t bend over with Dog around, you know how they hump anything with a hole.

Woof. Hey Goodster, ever hear the Cheech and Chong routine, “Ralph and Herby”. Funny as shlt! Almost as good as “Let’s Make A Dope Deal!” The final question is “How many J’s can you roll from an ounce?” Chong answers “One, man”. After a long pause the announcer says “Yes, the judges agree, one J—they roll big J’s also!!”

By NetBanker

April 13, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Hey Mara, Monica, Scalia, and Chuck! Hope you all have a great weekend. I’m outta here soon because I’ve had enough for this week.

By Scalia

April 13, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

Between the influx of spam, and the constant postings of split personality person, I avoid posting too often. I do miss the debates about abortion, homosexuality, and religion. Those were the good days.

So how is school Chuck? I hope you are exciting the kids about history. It is one of the most fascinationg subjects, and one of my favorites. And what are you taking classes in? Are they for professional development?

By Mara

April 13, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

I’m sure you all are familiar with the ubiquitous “motivational art” that hangs in offices all accross the country…here’s a new twist…

http://despair.com/lithographs.html

You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor

If We Don’t Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They’ll Stop Bugging Us

When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “Hey, is there room in your head for one more?”

A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.

There’s one about engineers that absolutely kills! My personal fave - “The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you’re pretentious.”

By FromDespair

April 13, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

Let’s agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

By Aguilar

April 13, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By lozen

April 13, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

An eye opening email:

Any day now, the Supreme Court will determine whether women, in consultation with their families and doctors, should make personal reproductive-health decisions - or whether politicians should make our medical and moral decisions for us.

I care a lot about what the Supreme Court has to say about President Bush’s Federal Abortion Ban. The same day I decided to terminate my pregnancy, lawmakers gathered in Washington, DC to discuss the ban, which could outlaw abortion as early as 12 weeks and has no exception for a woman’s health.

That’s why NARAL Pro-Choice America asked me to share my story with you. It’s not a story I ever thought I’d share with thousands of strangers, because frankly, it’s nobody’s business. But now, of course, it is.

When I was 18 weeks pregnant at my doctor’s office in Lexington, Massachusetts, I remember eagerly anticipating the ultrasound that would tell my husband and me whether our baby was a boy or a girl. We were so excited, oohing and aahing like the giddy, expectant parents that we were.

The technician, however, was quiet, and I started to panic. We learned that the ultrasound indicated that the fetus had an open neural-tube defect, meaning that the spinal column had not closed properly. We had to go to Boston immediately, where a new, high-tech machine could tell us more.

In Boston, the doctor spoke using words no pregnant woman wants to hear - clinical terms like hydrocephalus and spina bifida. The spine, she said, had not closed properly, and because of the location of the opening, it was as bad as it could get.

What the doctors knew was awful: the baby would be paralyzed and incontinent, its brain smushed against the base of the skull and the cranium full of fluid. What they didn’t know was devastating: would the baby live at all, and if so, with what sort of mental and developmental defects? Countless surgeries would be required if the baby did live, and none of them could repair the damage.

It sounds naive now, but I never considered pregnancy a gamble. Sitting in the doctor’s windowless office, I tried to read between the lines of complicated medical jargon, searching for answers that weren’t there. But I already knew what I had to do. Even if our baby had a remote chance of surviving, it was not a life we would choose for our child.

I asked over and over, “Are we doing the right thing?” Our family - even my Catholic father and Republican father-in-law, neither of whom was ever pro-choice - assured us that we were. Politics suddenly became personal - their daughter’s heartbreak, their son’s pain, their grandchild’s suffering - and that changed everything.

If President Bush’s Federal Abortion Ban had been in force on that day, my husband and I wouldn’t have had this option.

It’s not always easy to see how the Federal Abortion Ban will affect our lives, so I am asking you to share my story with your family, friends, and co-workers. Please let them see the human side of this story.

By lozen

April 13, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

Mara, thank you! Every one of the harmless flakes here is howling!

By NetBanker

April 13, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

Mara….thanks for those stayings. My favorite and most descriptive of my work environment would be

“A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.”

Lately it’s been like a blizzard in here.

So what’s my prize for winning the contest and how did he know I still look good in a speedo? I’m going to have to put up a higher fence around my pool.

By Ray_S_Barker366

April 13, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Monica

April 13, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

And for your tattoo, Monica, I recommend a little lion on the upper thigh—just where only your hubby can see it. It will have him roaring, I Gar-On-Tee!

Please forgive me for being crass and personal, everyone, but dog, I don’t need the help of a tatoo to achieve desired result!

Besides, I’m rather afaid of tatoos needles, and toxins entering my bloodstream, and hepatitis, and HIV, etc. In short, I don’t need no stinkin’ tatoo!

By Mr. Monica

April 13, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

Roooooaaaaaaarrrrrr!

By Mr. NetB

April 13, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

And trust me guys, he looks even better without the Speedo. Yum, yum.

By Mr. NetB

April 13, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this

Are you sure you guys won’t miss me just a little when I’m gone? Smooches to you, lozen, Miss Congeniality.

By Mr. NetB

April 13, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Cuz you guys have been hurting my feelings big time lately. ; > }

By Dog-Gone

April 13, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

Do y’all think a good woman might straighten me out? I’ll have to find out if Monica has any sisters. She sounds like a hottie.

By Poff

April 13, 2007 8:50 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Aguilar181

April 13, 2007 11:12 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By MAVIS-BENNETT

April 14, 2007 12:28 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Gabriel_T_Cruz

April 14, 2007 1:03 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By HoytAbbott552

April 14, 2007 5:38 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By ella

April 14, 2007 5:42 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Hillary_Becker

April 14, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By Delaney-C-Black

April 14, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array

By DAWNCOX667

April 14, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Abanamat! In vina veritas! 119 Array