AJC > Blog > Archives > 2005 > October > 26 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USAngst South of the Border
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
According to the fine folks at Advertising Age, who get paid to do these sorts of things, each one of you “wastes” an average of nearly four hours a week at work reading and posting to blogs. That’s about 10 percent of your work week. But I’m not telling.
Judging from the overheated nature of Georgia-Florida week, many of you are killing a lot more time than that. And we here at Enemy Watch are only too happy to add to your lack of productivity.
Of course, doing this is part of my job description, so I can never get docked for what amounts to puttering around. Can I? It’s like stealing money! Shhhh! Please don’t tell.
So let’s whip up another round of Dogs-Gators on Enemy Watch with this apparently unprovoked screed from a Gator fan who hates the Dogs with primal glee. Jeez, it’s only Wednesday.
Or how about this? Not just a rivalry, a blood feud, meant as an open letter from a Florida fan to introduce Urban Meyer to the Georgia rivalry. It’s actually a rather insightful look at the long history of the series, not just the recent results that have lulled some Floridians into complacency.
Then again, with the Gators already having suffered two losses and no Ron Zook to blame them on, Meyer’s finding out that they honeymoon is already over. Even without him crying. A Dallas newspaper has labeled him a ‘Doofus’, and an Orlando columnist has termed his offense “Muck and Meyer.”
Even the more detached observers are noting that the Bulldogs shouldn’t be discounted. While the boys in Vegas are busily switching their lines to favor the Gators, here’s one prediction that’s sticking with Georgia, by 3.
And to close with a few more words for the bulletin board, one Gators player said that Georgia without Shockley is “a sense of relief.”
So argue, discuss, woof, scratch for fleas, bury bones or do whatever Dogs fans do. But you folks are about ready to send me to the Betty Ford Blogging Detox Center.
Permalink | Comments (14) | Categories: UGA
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By Skip
October 27, 2005 03:00 AM | Link to this
I’m not sure why Gator fans are so relieved Shock isn’t going to play. The last time they faced him, he served up an interception for a touchdown. I just hope Joe T. does not do the same thing on Saturday. Go Dawgs!
By geechee
October 27, 2005 08:19 AM | Link to this
How do you keep a Gator out of your front yard? Put a goal post up!
How many Gators does it take to change a flat tire? Just one…unless it’s a blowout, then they all show up!
What do you get when you cross a Gator with a groundhog? Six more weeks of bad football.
If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
What’s the difference between a Gator and a bucket of manure? The bucket.
What’s the best thing to come out of Gainesville? I-75
Why did the Gator grad get fired from the M&M factory? He was throwing away too many W’s.
What did the UF graduate say to the UGA graduate? “You want fries with that?”
Why is UF changing their mascot to the possum? Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
What should you do if you find three Gators buried up to their necks in cement? Get more cement!
Good uses for a UF diploma: 1. Toilet paper 2. Proof of need for handicapped parking sticker 3. Crying towel 4. Proof of need for welfare
What do you call an Florida grad wearing a suit and tie? The defendant!
What does the average UF student get on their SAT’s? Drool.
What does an UGA student and a UF student have in common? They were both accepted to UF.
What do tornadoes and Florida grads have in common? They both always end up in trailer parks!
A man walks into a store and says, “I would like a orange hat, blue pants, green sweater, and white shoes.” The clerk says, “Are you a Gator fan?” “Yes,” replies the man, “How did you guess—by the color combination?” “No,” answers the clerk, “because this is a hardware store.”
There was a couple who were getting divorced, so the judge said to the child, “Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with your Dad?” “No,” said the child, “he beats me.” “Do you want to live with your Mom?” “No, she beats me too.” “Well who do you want to live with?” “I want to live with a Gator Fan.” Confused, the judge asked, “Why?” The child replied, “Because they never beat anybody that’s good!”
One day in a bus station, one man approached another and said, “I bet your from the University of Florida.” “Why yes I am” answered the other. “How could you tell, was it my good looks, my debonair charm, my taste in clothing?” “No,” replied the first, “I saw your class ring as you were picking your nose.”
Did you hear about the big power outage at the UF student union? Forty Gators were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
What do you call a Gator with half a brain? “Gifted”
How many UF freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero, it is a sophomore course. Why don’t Gators use 911 in an emergency? They can’t find 11 on the dial.
Why do UF grads hang their diplomas in the rear windows of their cars? So they can park in “handicapped” spaces.
How do you get a UF graduate off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza!!!!
What’s the difference between a Gator and a dollar bill? You only get three quarters out of a Gator.
By PreyDawg
October 27, 2005 09:29 AM | Link to this
FANDA_ _ TASTICK GeeChee!!
I enjoyed that! I am sitting up here (supposedly) working 4 states away from Jacksonville where I would like to be.
I am a displaced UGA grad surrounded by Yankees who dont know beans about college football. Each day this week I have proudly displayed a different Georgia shirt as I have each year at this time. But it is all pearls before swine.
MAN DO I WISH I WERE IN MY OLD ‘66 442 WITH ALL MY OLD BUDS HEADED FOR JACKSONVILLE! Those days sure went by fast.
By geechee
October 27, 2005 09:44 AM | Link to this
That’s an insult to swine all over the world.
By kevin - kevugadvm
October 27, 2005 10:28 AM | Link to this
I am up here with the yankees as well Preydawg……. and i am with you about the lack of knowledge for college football…… headed to philly to watch the game with our Philly-dawgs group……. Joe T will do fine and it will all be good…….
do miss going to 6 games a year though being up here……
GO DAWGS…… SICKEM……
By PreyDawg
October 27, 2005 11:53 AM | Link to this
Hey Kev,
I just found out about a judge that lives here that has a huge UGA statue in his front yard. Graduated from UGA and UGA Law school.
Then today I saw a car with local license plates and a UGA window decal. If I can find those two guys maybe I can start a local Bulldog club.
Any advice?
By kevin - kevugadvm
October 27, 2005 01:45 PM | Link to this
where are you prey dawg?? let me know…….. i am about 20 min outside of philly……… if i am closer maybe we can set something up……….
By BIGNCDAWG
October 27, 2005 02:00 PM | Link to this
Geechee you are a great DAWG for posting that.
Preydawg and kevugadvm I feel your pain. I have lived in NC for the last 26 years. At least we get a little DAWG news here.
DAWGS will make us proud against the lizards.
By Monolithicdawg
October 27, 2005 03:03 PM | Link to this
There are gay women in the WNBA? Next you’ll tell me UF is favored!!
By Spanky
October 27, 2005 03:14 PM | Link to this
Geechee, That was awesome!! Have any more?
By PreyDawg
October 27, 2005 03:46 PM | Link to this
Illinois here Kevin. Too far away for a Bulldog Gathering.
By laurabeth
October 27, 2005 04:01 PM | Link to this
Anyone who is going to Jax and wants to confuse some Gator fans, just walk up to them and say “GAAAAAAY GOTERS!!!!!” instead of go gators. It gets them everytime. They follow right along.
By geechee
October 27, 2005 09:06 PM | Link to this
Spanky just because you asked, round 2
What do you call a good looking girl in Gainesville A visitor from Athens.
Why can’t Gator players use the internet? They can’t put 3 W’s together.
Why did Forrest Gump choose ‘Bama over UF? He wanted an academic challenge!
Why can’t UF have a nativity scene this Christmas? They can’t find three wise men or a virgin.
You have a gun with only two bullets and you have Saddam, Osama, and Spurrier in a room. What do you do? You shoot Spurrier twice to make sure the jerk is dead.
What is the difference between Gator fans and a litter of puppies? Eventually, the puppies will grow up and stop whining.
Did you hear about the Gators found frozen in a car at the drive-in movie in January? They went to see “Closed for winter”.
A guy walks into a bar and says, “Hey barkeep- did you ever hear the one about the Florida Gators?” Four huge men stand up and approach the man. One of them says, “We play football at UF- you sure you wanna tell that joke?” The guy replies, “What? and have to explain it four times?”
Florida grads are hiking in the woods, and came upon some tracks. The first one said “I think these are deer tracks.” The second said “I think these are moose tracks.” The third said “I think these are bear tracks” Then they got hit by a train!
Two Gator fans were walking across the park when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike? The second one replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you wantâ€? The first Gator fan nodded approvingly, Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.
How do you get to Gainesville from Savannah? You go south till you smell it and west till you step in it.
What’s the biggest argument you’ll hear between two Florida grads that are divorcing? Who gets the trailer?
Albert Einstein goes to a party in heaven. He wants to make small talk so he asks the first guy his IQ and the guy says 150 so Einstein discusses his theory of relativity and moves on. He asks the next guy he meets the same question and the guy say 120 so Einstein talks a while about nuclear fission and moves on. He then asks his question to a third guy whose answer is 50. To this Einstein replies Go Gators!
What is 100 yards long and has ten teeth? The front row at Florida Field.
By Mike T
October 28, 2005 04:44 AM | Link to this
A Gator was ask how many seconds that were in a years time,He thought for a moment and answerwed twelve.Guy asking question says,man how do you figure that there are only twelve seconds in a years time? He replied, well you got Jan 2, Feb 2, March 2…