AJC > Sports Thrashers > Blog > Archives > 2009 > January > 17
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Who Are You And What Have You Done With Our Thrashers?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Someone check with Air Traffic Control…make a call to NORAD…ask them if, sometime around 9:15-ish or so last night, there were any strange and unusual sightings in the sky…any UFOs… above downtown Atlanta.
Specifically… over Philips Arena.
See, I’m quite convinced that sometime between when the Thrashers left the ice after the first period and when they returned for the second, the entire team was a victim of some sort of alien abduction. In there place was left 18 skaters and one sharp as hell goalie.
Oh…those were not our Thrashers. No way…no how!
See, the first 20 minutes of Friday night’s game against the Toronto Maple Leafs went just about according to plan for this team. They had only allowed 8 shots on goal but found themselves down three-zip by the break. One of the goals was of the power play persuasion…the last two came in the final minute-sixteen.
After twenty minutes of play, the stench that permeated throughout Blueland resembled that of the steamer laid on the ice in south Florida last Saturday when three goals were allowed in the first…two coming in the closing minutes. And I fully expected the outcome to be quite the same as that 8-4 debacle…only, minus the “4” part.
It was completely and totally un-good and it certainly was only going to get un-gooder…right?
Um…no.
Because, you see, that’s when it happened.
Glowing green aliens swooped their space ship in and…obviously by way of a tractor beam…lifted everyone in a blue uniform out of the home locker room, beamed them up to the mother ship and left imposters in their place. This went completely undetected by the announced crowd of 15,619 at Philips because they’re good…real good…at this kinda stuff.
The alien squad made one minor adjustment before taking to the ice. They left Moose on the bench and placed “alien” Kari in the goal instead. Maybe that’s because Moose had let up three goals on but eight shots. Maybe it’s because they had no “alien” Mooses with them on this trip…who knows? But, when they took to the ice, the entire imposter Thrashers commenced to using the Toronto Maple Leafs in some weird alien science experiment as they dissected them for the remainder of the game.
They outshot the Leafs 17-3 in the second period…that is NOT a typo…and then 9-6 in the third. In that time, “alien” Kovalchuk and “alien” Peverley work a magic brand of hockey that was masterful. It must have taken these slimy, green un-worldly creatures thousands of years of working together to be that precise with one another.
By the time the second period was over…the score was 3-2 and I leaned back in my seat and though to myself…”Who are these guys and just what in blue-blazes have they done with my Atlanta Thrashers”? Only, I really didn’t care…’cuz I like the ones I had just got through watchin’!
My only fear was that the experiment was over and done with and the same type of switch-a-roo was going to take place in the locker room during the second intermission…then we would once again see the old Thrashers in the third that stunk the place up in the first. You know… just like in Florida when, after tying the score at three in the second, they go and get whacked 5-1 in the third.
Um…no.
See, obviously, these aliens got a good gander at the Blue Crew ice chicks and decided that they just might want to stick around a bit…see if they can get a number or two. And who can blame ‘em?
So, Thrashers fans were treated to another twenty minutes of electrifying, spectacular ice hockey by whoever it was inside of those blue uniforms!
While “Kovy”, “Peves” and “Little” were notching the goals…it was the lower lines that were providing the muscle last night. They were hitting everything in a Leafs jersey with the same intensity Rosie O’Donnell hits an open all-you-can-eat buffet….hard, fast, continuously and without mercy!
“Alien” Kari was brilliant. Sure…he only had to face nine shots in 40 minutes of regulation time and none in the 3:51 of overtime. Heck…the “real” Kari can see nine shots in 40 seconds sometimes! But, nonetheless, “alien” Kari stopped all of them…and all of them HAD to be stopped in order to get the game into overtime where it was ultimately won.
One of those saves was a real beauty…moving quickly from his left to right to stop a Toronto shot…keeping the Leafs’ lead to only one. It looked a lot like the play that resulted in the third goal that Moose had let up with 20 seconds left in the first
With 4:52 left in the game…the “aliens” that took the forms of Rich Peverley and Ron Hainsey hooked up to feed the “alien” Kovalchuk for a nifty game-tying score. “Peverley” slid the puck back through the goalmouth from behind the line…between the post and a pursuing Vesa Toskala…where “Kovy” snapped the puck into a gaping wide goal.
Then…with 69 seconds left before a shootout…the three hooked up again for the game winner. Only this time it was “Peves” that did the honors after setting up “Kovy” twice before. It completed a three-goal deficit come-from-behind win that hasn’t been seen in these parts in many moons.
The way Peverley was setting up Kovy and dishing out assists…he’s been dubbed the “Pevs Dispenser” by my good friends at The Blueland Chronicle. I thought that was very clever and am quite peeved that I didn’t come up with it first!
Like I said, I really don’t know for a fact if these were alien beings in the bodily form of our Thrashers…but does anyone else have a better explaination for such a complete turnaround?
If I am right in my theory…I really don’t care. These E.T.s can stick around all they want and continue to play…because I like them. I like them a lot!
You think I’m crazy to believe these were alien substitutes? Well, don’t take my word for it…ask some of our blog population that I met down there last night…like Don (not THAT one)…and DWTOO along with the very lovely Mrs. DWTOO…and the Toronto Maple Leaf fan, Sara, who came up to me to shake my hand and tell me, “Congratulations to you and your team on a great win”. Very classy…also, Pucksdeep, (who has been derelict in her regular attendance and participation here but she promised me she would not be a stranger), and her “bf” Alex…and Sher with her daughter Melissa and her “bf” Dean. Oh, and Melissa…get back to your studies!
They were all there… they saw it too. And they had no better explanation for it either.
