AJC > Sports Thrashers > Blog > Archives > 2008 > June > 12
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Blueland Held Hostage - Day 240
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Sitting at the anchor desk…Rawhide waits for the Nightline music to complete the intro, performs the meaningless last-minute shuffling of the papers…looks up at the camera…and in 5…4…3…2…1…
Hello and welcome to Blueland Held Hostage - Day 240. We are now closing in the eight-month mark since the Thrashers have had an actual head coach. That’s two-thirds of a year, and still…no end in sight to the continuing coaching crisis that has engulfed Blueland.
We turn to our reporter in the field, Brendan, standing outside of Philips Arena with an update. Brendan, what do you have for us?
Camera turns to the well-groomed field reporter, hair finely combed back, wearing trench coat and holding a microphone.
“Rawhide…I’m standing here in front of the home of the Atlanta Thrashers…Blueland… where there is absolutely nothing more to report than what you just said. Back to you, Rawhide”.
Uh, Brendan…nothing?
“No…not a thing”.
Is there any news of meetings…phone calls…text messages…to possible candidates?
“No… back to you”
Any e-mails, any…
“Nope…not a thing. Back to you, Rawhide”.
No rumors?
“Nope…I gotta whole lot of nothing here, Rawhide…back to you”.
Pregnant pause
OK, then. Thank you Brendan for that…intriguing…in-depth…report. We’ll check back with you later in the program.
“Why”?
Because, Brendan…that’s what we do. You give your report…then we check back with you later for an update. Thanks, Brendan. Now everyone, moving forward we….
“But there won’t be anything to update. There is absolutely nothing to report here”.
But if something develops in the next few minutes…
“Not gonna happen, so no need to return to me”.
But Brendan…isn’t it remotely possible that…?
“Fine…whatever… check back with me later if you must”.
OK, good. We’ll be sure to do that. Now, moving on we will discuss..
“But I won’t have anything to say. I’ll just be standing here like one of the homeless guys…only I’ll have a microphone in my hand. So, I’ll just have the crew make a tape of me saying, ‘there is nothing new to report on the coaching front…back to you, Rawhide’…and you guys back at the studio… the nice air conditioned studio with catered lunches and pretty girls primping you with make-up…you guys can just run it on a loop all you want. It will be just as effective. Back to you, Rawhide”.
Fine…thank you Brendan…that will be all.
We now turn to our in-studio guest, RStroz and Puckjunque. Stroz, PJ…welcome. First you, RStroz…what do you feel is the overall affect on the average Bluelander in the midst of this crisis?
“THANK YOU RAWHIDE… I THINK THIS GOES STRAIGHT TO A FAILURE IN LEADERSHIP. IT IS A CLUSTER-FLOP…”
Whoa….Stroz…the bullhorn…we don’t really need that in here. I’ll turn to you PJ…same question.
“Well, it seems to be dragging down the spirits of us all. We see teams like Toronto, Washington, Colorado, San Jose…they all handled their coaching changes in a very smooth, organized way. Almost like, you know, someone had a clue as to what they were doing from the very beginning. My sense regarding our coaching change is…well…I just don’t know”.
“THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY”!!!
Somebody, please apprehend that bullhorn! - Ah, thank you…thank you both.
That’s about all the time we have for our program. In closing, we have several independent reports from the field. They will be filed below…
Thank you…and good night.
Services »
