AJC > Sports Thrashers > Blog > Archives > 2008 > March > 29
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Blueland Bargain Basement Bonanza
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Howdy folks…welcome to the BLUELAND BARGAIN BASEMENT BONANZA!!!
That’s right! The thump you just experienced was the elevator in which you were riding landing smack dab in the basement of the standings! Occupying the space here with the Thrashers are the Tampa Bay Lightning and Los Angeles Kings. Technically, we are a couple points better then they are…but given the way things are going, we should soon have the entire bottom level to ourselves!
If you get lost during your stay, please seek out Bruce Levenson and he will be sure to have you “moving in the right direction”… right back down here!
Before we begin, I simply must thank our good friends Spector at Fox Sports and Scott Burnside of ESPN for getting the word out about what is going on down here!! Great job, guys!
Now, we are holding a clearance sale here at the Quad “B” and we have a plethora of items that SIMPLY MUST GO!!! So, step right up and, please, no crowding…we’ll make sure to point out everything of interest!!!!
First…In need of an aging, slow defender? Why, we have just the thing for you! Today we have the Alexei Zhitnik special where the original price of $3.5M has been slashed…that’s right, SLASHED to an amazing $1M….that’s…ONE MILLLLLLL-ION DOLLARS!
Any takers?…Anyone?… Oh come on! This particular piece of stock cost us Braydon Coburn, for crying out loud! Certainly someone has need for this!…Nothing?….OK, ok…$19.95! AND we’ll throw in the new Rhinestone Stud Applicator and Knife Set from Ronco!
And now…step right this way. You need a turnstile? A tollbooth attendant? We got ‘em both! Just choose from any number of Thrasher defenders. They’ll stand by as traffic flows through them…never once detaining anyone at an entrance, a freeway…or a blueline!
Aaa-Aaaa… No, no, no lady…hands off Enstrom. He’s not going anywhere! There are plenty others to choose from.
Next up…oh, and THIS is a dandy! Yes, indeed!! Have you ever thought to yourself, “Self, I need me something that will help keep items of value looking as good as new”? Well…we’ve got just what you’re looking for…guaranteed to keep anything you have looking as new as the day you got it!
Uh-huh! It’s the Don Waddell Product Preservation System!!!!!
That’s right, place Don Waddell in charge of managing your car, your home, your surround sound home theater system…or expansion NHL franchise… and ten years later…there is no real difference in it’s appearance than the first few years you had it!!!
Coulda used this the day I got married! Hahahaha…..ha…sigh. Tough crowd.
Sure…all things age, even improve. But with the Don Waddell Product Preservation System, anything that allows the product to shows signs of aging, even improvement that come with such aging as the years go by, will be cast off!
That NHL franchise of yours got a coach that improves the team every year he’s behind the bench? Not to worry…the DWPPS will step in and return the product back to its original luster and shine!
Compare for yourself…Thrashers of ’07-’08…Thrashers of circa ’00-’01…you see if you can tell the difference!
Anyway, act now and we will throw in, at no extra charge, his 17 whole regulation wins in JUST 73 games as acting head coach this season alone! Yes, obviously this is a team he put together himself!
So folks…today in the Blueland Bargain Basement Bonanza the Don Waddell system…simply HAS GOT TO GO!
Once again, thank you for shopping at the Quad “B”. Take your time gang! Shop around! We will be open all summer as we need to make room for next season’s product!!
Next year’s NEW and IMPROVED product, that is…After all, the owners of Blueland are indeed actually committed to improving their product, aren’t they?
