AJC > Sports Thrashers > Blog > Archives > 2007 > December > 10 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USRawhide Visits Santa
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
(Lenox Mall on a busy Saturday afternoon during the Christmas season. Rawhide, after waiting patiently…OK, UN-patiently…in line for 3-1/2 hours to see Santa Clause finally gets his turn and hops up in his lap)…
Santa: Ugh!…OW! Sheeze kid, what do you weigh, 210?
Rawhide: 195 and a half… like YOU got room to talk. Now cut the crap and let’s get down to business. I’ve waited over 3 hours for this…it would have been longer had I not bought off some of those kids with counterfeit Hannah Montana tickets.
Santa: Wha…?? Oh, it’s YOU Rawhide. I thought I recognized those ears.
Rawhide: (looking out a crowd), The man works with elves and he’s bustin’ ME in the chops about ears?
Santa: I’m just saying, those look like someone left the car doors open…
Rawhide: Shut it, fat boy. Look, I’m still peeved about what you did to my pals and me last year…
Santa: Whoa there, smarty, YOU and your little friends Brian, Buzilla and RStroz …you all asked for your Thrashers to go to the playoffs. That’s what you little cretins asked for, right? Did that not happen, with a division title to boot?
Rawhide: Oh, yeah, sure…whatever….swept in four and out the door. Thanks. Thanks a PANT-LOAD!! You knew what we wanted!
Santa: Well, you weren’t specific. Look, I got 6 billion people to deal with and….
Rawhide: YADA-YADA-YADA…whatever Santa Klutz…look, I’m gonna spell this out for you nice and simple-like, see? I don’t want you screwing up THIS order. Got it? Me and my pals in Blueland….we’re all in agreement on this. We want a Stanley Cup Championship for our Thrashers. Yeah, I wanna see the Thrashers skatin’ around Philips with Lord Stanley’s Cup and so does everyone else. Can ya handle that?
Santa: Well, if that’s ALL you wanted, why didn’t you just say so. I’ll just get my people RIGHT on that for YOUUUuuUUUUUuuuuu……
Rawhide: Watch it chimney-stuffin’! I’m not messin’ around here! See, Brian and Zilla and RStroz, they all are willing to give up EVERYTHING else for Christmas. They are satisfied with getting NUTHIN’…ZIP…NADA…GOOSE EGG….BUPKIS…for Christmas if they can just see the Thrasher win the championship.
Santa: But what about you? Are you going to go without too?
Rawhide: Hey, when did this become all about ME?
Boy in line: Yo, hustle it up….we’d like to see Santa too…WHILE WE’RE YOUNG!
Rawhide: Look, Jethro…why don’t you go get yourself an Islander jersey over there. It’s just your speed. Meanwhile, pipe down. I’m almost done here.
Santa: UGH. Can you shift over to my other leg…this one’s gone numb.
Rawhide: Deal with it…occupational hazard. So, you coming through this year or what?
Santa: I dunno, that’s a tough one. I’m gonna have to call in some serious favors on that. Beside, that’s in the spring…shouldn’t you be taking this up with the Easter Bunny?
Rawhide: Passing the buck already, are you? Look, I didn’t want it to come to this…but you see that guy over there, the one wearing the trench coat?
Santa: Oh…ah…yeah. That’s Brendan, right?
Rawhide: DING-DING-DING! Let’s hear what he wins, Johnny…Yeah, that’s Brendan. Now look….if you don’t come through, he’s gonna start talkin’.
Santa: What do you mean? You saying that he’s got something on me? Look, I know I spend a lot of time with the elves in the workshop and those rumors about the Swedish ones and me are just…
Rawhide: No, no, Chubs. He’s gonna start talkin’….chattin’…blabbin’….you know, like he always does. He can go on and on and on and on and…wait a minute, “the Swedish ones”?
Santa: Oh, ah, nuthin’…OK …I get it! Geeze, that Brendan…he just doesn’t stop! Oh, you’re a bad one, Mr. Rawhide! You would do that, wouldn’t you?
Rawhide: Faster than a reindeer can wiz on a snow bank, Tubby! And he’ll be right there in the sleigh with you, all Christmas Eve, see? And I got some pull with the Nasty-Nest gang; I could get a “Santa” chant going in this place just like that…(snap).
Santa: OK, OK, OK….I’ll see what I can do. Just go….and take him with you. Please!
Rawhide: (Hopping down and walking off)…OK, you just do that…or…(points over to Brendan).
Santa: (Head in hands), There just isn’t enough coal in the world to stick in that one’s stocking….
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By PJ
December 10, 2007 10:01 PM | Link to this
Ohhh Santa, I’m first! What do I get???
By Santa
December 10, 2007 10:23 PM | Link to this
Ohhh PJ, you get a picture of your favorite Maple Leaf, and, even better, he’ll be in town Friday.
Ho Ho Ho!
By PJ
December 10, 2007 10:35 PM | Link to this
But Santaaaaa, I already got one of those.
By Puckjunque
December 10, 2007 10:47 PM | Link to this
Jsmooth just read the blog earlier today and Yes it was nice meeting you too. It’s alway nice to meet Thrasher fans. Wayne and Garth, I mean, Buz and Rone, nice to meet you too.
By Santa
December 10, 2007 10:49 PM | Link to this
Not in his jersey.
By Brendan
December 10, 2007 11:15 PM | Link to this
I’ve got tons of dirt on Santa! The telephoto lens does not lie. 364 days is a long time … to be “good.”
By PJ
December 10, 2007 11:37 PM | Link to this
Brendan Have at it. Santa just accused me of being UN-loyal to the Thrashers AND wanting a UN-dressed leaf. UN-Good Santa, UNGOOD.
By R. Stroz
December 10, 2007 11:41 PM | Link to this
You have to watch that Santa guy.
By KL
December 10, 2007 11:50 PM | Link to this
Dear Santa, Can I have a new groin? A really good one? Thanks, Kari
By Kozy
December 10, 2007 11:55 PM | Link to this
Der Santa, Ples make stik shoot puck to net not pass every time.
By Slates
December 10, 2007 11:59 PM | Link to this
Santa - Can I get a goal before Van Halen breaks up again?
By Brian
December 11, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this
Slates - stop stealing lines otherwise the gentleman who sat next to me at the last game and yelled that will sue you for copyright infringement…
By Sundin
December 11, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this
Santa, can you keep Exelby away from me on Friday night?
Thanks, Mats
By Slater
December 11, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this
Santa, can you bring me a warm winter coat? It gets really cold in Chicago this time of year.
Thanks, Slater
By kracker
December 11, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this
Puckjunque I’m sure it was a slip of the tougue but perhaps we should not mention real names? I figure it’s better to run this place like a witness protection program….even if Santa does hang out here.
By ToF
December 11, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this
Is it too much to ask that somebody not on the top line score 20 goals. Please, pretty please, Santa.
By Santa
December 11, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this
Rawhide - You whine more than a Islandturd goalie who gets beat in the shoot out by an aging Russian.
By Brian
December 11, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this
kracker - please don’t use that phrase with puckjunque when the Leafs are coming to town…
By Waddell
December 11, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this
Santa, Can you please teach me how to build a team?
Thanks,
Donny
By Andy Sutton
December 11, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this
Santa,
Can I get some baby wipes? I seem to have a poopstain on my jersey.
Thanks,
Andy
By Santa
December 11, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this
Andy - For taking cheap shots at talented players, you will receive nothing.
Furthermore, Santa will not bring presents to any player on a Satan worshipping team which idolizes turds.
However, Rone will receive extra presents for complimenting your playing ability after the game.
By Santa
December 11, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this
Slater - I’m out of jackets but will bring bells which sound like a puck hitting the crossbar.
By Santa
December 11, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this
KL - Instead of a new groin, I have nice young man in Chicago who will be willing to give you all the rehab time you need.
By Santa
December 11, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this
For Sean Avery I have a special gift, Elisha Cuthbert has accepted my invitation to be Mrs. Claus.
By kris kringle
December 11, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this
Ho Ho Ho. My gifts to the City of Atlanta were the Braves, Chiefs, Flames and Thrashers for being good. The Falcons and Hawks are from two particularly BAD years. Merry Christmas to all!
By Santa
December 11, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this
Donny,
You are 14-8-1 since you took over as coach of the team you built. I don’t see why you need to build a new team all of a sudden.
Santa
By LAC
December 11, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this
Santa… Please get Brian a new muzzle PLEASE !
By Sean A.
December 11, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this
Dear Santa, do you think you can help me find my B&%ls?
By santadec
December 11, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this
Merry Christmas boys and girls. Off the holiday mark but if Thrashers are FORCED to sink or swim with KL they better grow gills. NOTHING demoralizes a hockey team more than working like Heck (in honor of season) to score a goal only to have goalie give it back within minutes (or seconds). Mark my words. No Stanley Cup run with KL! Moose or Kid may not be answer but KL far too inconsistent to become type of netminder Thrashers CRITICALLY need! Six goals to worst NHL team. That is too (darn) many no matter HOW bad the defense may be. Need I say more? Merry Christmas all. God bless.
By Toby E
December 11, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this
Dere Santah, Could please fix regulation Hockey to 4 periods so I may have MORE ice time??
By Santa
December 11, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this
LAC - For you, I have videotape of Plett fights, Vail slapshots, and Lysiak goals with a few Bouchard saves thrown in.
By Brian
December 11, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this
What a surprise, LAC is posting today. Gee, now that we know he is logged on, if we could only figure out who posted this entry
By Santa
December 11, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this
LAC - since you also like creating doomsday projections based on false claims, I will also throw in a copy of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth.
By Santa
December 11, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this
Brian - How would you like a nice waitress that enjoys hockey for Christmas?
By Brian
December 11, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this
Santa,
That’s what I got for Thanksgiving…
By Santa
December 11, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this
Now Brian, I said a “nice waitress,” not one with a X-ceptional history.
By Brian
December 11, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this
Santa - stop creating scandal, no history to talk about!!!
Rawhide - must…block…Santa…
By ranallo10
December 11, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this
Okay, a few shout-outs I need to make real quick:
Brian — Do you have any more news regarding this post?
Tony C. — You sure did hook a brother up…I’ll take a discount from my cable bill any time of the week.
Rawhide — More specific directions (or a time of meeting) would be appreciated, I had stuff to buy so couldn’t sit around waiting at the wrong Gorin’s all night!! Thanks for trying!
kracker — “The mission” was in reference to the gathering at Gorin’s for the holiday card. I missed out on it though.
By ranallo10
December 11, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this
Rawhide, did my 2:50 post not go through?
By puckjunque
December 11, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this
Brian looks like we both got a lump of coal for thanksgiving. Is there any redemption for us?? I’m reading “Atlas Shrugged”, does that count??
By Brian
December 11, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this
puckjunque - WHOA! What lump of coal did I get?!?!?! I think you are thinking of something else…
By ranallo10
December 11, 2007 6:03 PM | Link to this
Grrr….I tried to catch up on what I missed. Here goes again:
kracker — “the mission” was referring to the card everybody was signing at Gorin’s.
Tony C. — You DID hook me up with a slight discount, thanks again bud.
Brian — Can you give a link or something for the Hossa contract situation? I’d love to read something on what you all are talking about (regarding him having a contract agreement in place).
Rawhide — Where was everyone? I couldn’t wait around long, so I had to run when I didn’t see anybody there.
By puckjunque
December 11, 2007 8:07 PM | Link to this
Brian ahh, umm, I didn’t realize you were still dating X, Sorry, ahh she’s not lump of coal, really, umm a lovely girl. Unless………….. you’re referring to the other one?? Honestly, who can keep up with you?
By Brian
December 11, 2007 9:51 PM | Link to this
puckjunque - would you people stop already? I wish half the stories going around about me were true, do you know fun my life would be?
By Rawhide
December 11, 2007 10:06 PM | Link to this
Ranallo - Your 2:50 post caught hung up in “customs”, (it was quarentined due to the multiple links),…I pulled some strings and got it cleared!
By Brian
December 11, 2007 10:22 PM | Link to this
Rawhide - is the janitor coming to clear us out yet? It is time…
By Rawhide
December 11, 2007 10:31 PM | Link to this
BRIAN - I gave the janitor the night off. He said something about a hot date with Joan Rivers…..so you kids can stay up late and play.
New blog after Bruins game….(if you all behave).
By LAC
December 11, 2007 10:46 PM | Link to this
Thanks Brian and Santa… I’ll take the new Stan Fishler book that’s out… A neat book…
Happy Holidays !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Brian
December 12, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this
LAC - you must have read my other post. Just don’t call him an insider, some might find flash their credentials at you…
By drew
December 12, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this
santa,
can i get some skates that are not made of cement.
bobby h
By Thrasher Ryan
December 12, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this
Rawhide—We need to win all 3 games this week in order to keep pace with Carolina. I’m feeling a Mark Recchi goal; possibly the game winner in a 4-3 Thrashers victory. Also, watch out for Savard… He’s been on fire as of late.
By Brian
December 12, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this
puckjunque - so instead of creating gossip and rumors, are you going to do your pregame prayer today?
By The Janitor
December 12, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this
OK, Brian,…I’m here now….so ya’ll skit-daddle on over to the new blog so I can clean up…