AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2008 > January > 29 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USTruth’s stranger than fiction in sports
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
THE TUESDAY COUNTDOWN…
10: The “Oxygen” channel, which says it is “rewriting the rulebook for women’s television,” is debuting a new reality series with Deion Sanders and his second wife, called, “Deion and Pilar: Prime Time Love.” Just one question: Do the execs at Oxygen realize this is the same guy who, while dating his first wife, Carolyn, once said of his tastes in female company: “I can’t be seen with no seahag”?
9: According to scientists, an asteroid at least 500 feet long is approaching earth and will make a close pass next week. But, alas, it will miss Fayetteville, Ark.
8: Go ahead. Take the Giants and 12. I’ll take Bill Belichick and two weeks to prepare.
7: It’s comical watching Roger Clemens and his mouthpieces scramble to sway public opinion in drug allegations. Now comes a 49-page, 18,000-word statistical breakdown of his career, titled, “Analysis by Hendricks Sports Management.” The Hendricks, as it so happens, would be his agents.
6: I just skimmed the document (which you can find at http://www.rogerclemensreport.com). In short, it attempts to convince the reader that it’s not at all unusual that Clemens, after a slide with Boston, had a career rejuvenation in the late 1990s and has pitched with success well into his 40s. But if you’re looking for the nugget that dismisses the notion he took HGH and/or steroids to help get him through those workouts, it’s not there.
5: Forget the reports that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have broken up. E-Gossip (“Celebrity Dish, Served Daily.”) has photographic evidence that they’re still together! http://www.egossip.com/celebrity/jessica-simpson-and-tony-romo-booze-it-hollywood-7580. I provide this information only if Giants’ fans will need something to look forward to after Sunday.
4: Did you know that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have won the same number of playoff games?
3: Comrade Mark Bradley made a good case why the Hawks are in worse shape than the Thrashers in the Atlanta Spirit House of Horrors. But I’ve got to go with the pucksters. Both teams need coaches and general managers. But give the Hawks a point guard and they’ll be fine. Personnel-wise, the Thrashers need more than one fix.
2: Another reason why I would love to own a minor-league sports team one day: The Wheeling (West Va.) Nailers, an East Coast Hockey League team, are holding a “Shred Rich Rodriguez Night” Saturday. Any fan bringing an article or picture of Rodriguez to be shredded can buy a ticket at discount. It plays off reports of him shredding team related documents before he left West Virginia for Michigan. It follows that any fan wearing an Ohio State jersey also gets a discount.
1: One week to national letter of intent day. Any word yet on where Brian VanGorder is going?
Permalink | Comments (19) | Post your comment | Categories: Jeff Schultz, Quick Hit
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By John Moxie
January 29, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this
Is there anyway we can steer it toward Fayetteville?
By Joey
January 29, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this
Thanks Jeff, I needed that chuckle!
By Dave
January 29, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this
Funny.
By just me
January 29, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this
Why steer and asteroid toward Arkansas when the intended target will have moved by the time it gets here?
By Boots
January 29, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this
Prime-time, neon-Deion is a personality about which one could honestly say, “If you could buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth, well, we could all retire.”
I understand he’s doing some good work with kids and for that I applaud him. But when he opens his mouth you know for a fact that there’s something missing upstairs.
By Ryan
January 29, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this
What’s the show going to be called, “The Third Person with Deion”.
By Swatguy
January 29, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this
I fell a bit dumber having reading that entire article. Gag Me with an asteroid.
By Billy C
January 29, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this
Jessica Simpson is so hot!
By Rhys
January 29, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this
^^^^^, Deion, is that you?!
By AP
January 29, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this
This just in, Patrino is interested in Redskins opening…
By mark
January 29, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
First of all, if Jessica Simpson wanted to act out the song “Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy” with any of us, I don’t think we’d say no!!! Why would anyone want to watch a show about what Deion and his wife (or anyone else) do on a daily basis??? Why do I wanna watch a show about what Bobby Brady and Chachi do on a day to day basis?? Or Hulk Hogan??Why is that interesting to people??
Anyhoo, Pats by 14, 19-0.
By GeorgiaYankeesFan
January 29, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this
With these pathetic comic stylings is there any wonder the AJC Sports finishes in 4th place behind ESPN, SI and Nickelodeon when it comes to breaking Falcons news on coaches, potential coaches, interviews, etc. Keep spending your time working on the comedy and I’m sure we’ll be treated to a whole offseason of important stories being broken by anyone except the hometown paper. Enough with the comedy start working the phones and finding out some sports info.
By David
January 29, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this
Jeff, man, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t; but don’t stop!
By Alan
January 29, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this
Good stuff, Jeff. Keep it coming. We Atlanta sports fans need to laugh at ourselves - as well as our teams.
By Graham
January 29, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this
Give me a break Jeff. Deon said this when he was much younger. Who among us hasn’t said things when they were young that they later realized it wasn’t the most intelligent thing they could have said. Have you heard him speak about his relationship with God? I dare you to print those comments.
By Chikara
January 29, 2008 9:02 PM | Link to this
Graham, how dare you request an actual intelligent quote be printed in the AJC? You know that will come the same day someone from this “paper” will say something nice about the home teams.
Actually Jeff, is there anyway that asteroid can be steered towards Leavenworth, Kansas?
By Tom Trojan
January 29, 2008 10:39 PM | Link to this
Great story Jeff! Thank you for lightening the whole sports area up a tad!
By LakeRat
January 30, 2008 7:39 AM | Link to this
Also, when Deion was first with the Falcons and got into a shoving match at a bar over his “baby’s momma” he refered to the momma as “my female”!
By GT80
January 30, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
just me, that is possible the best post ever.