AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2007 > November > 22 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USFeds’ doghouse nicer than Gailey’s
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Burrrrrp. ‘Scuse me. The fourth dessert and the seat cushion did it. So now I know what it must feel like to be a young orphan from the Congo who just had his head gnawed off by a raptor while the rest of his poor little body was decomposing from the inside out because he mistook plutonium for a Snickers. At least, so says my dietician, Nick Saban.
Anyway, not to overstate things. But, like, I’m great. After a slow start this fiscal season, the Weekend Predictions Investment Team, Catfish and Such is 14-6-1 against the spread in the last two weeks, providing members with substantial wealth for this holiday season, or maybe to sleep in a government doghouse.
Maybe you missed it. Michael Vick received a bill this week for $928,000, which the U.S. government says is what it cost to take care of 48 rescued doggies.
Question: What Ritz were they staying at?
The feds’ bill comes to $19,333.33 per dog, which I found hard to believe, because room service kibble isn’t that expensive and even special late-night entertainment productions like, “Every Which Way She Barks” and “Best Little Kennel Club in Westminster,” which appear discreetly on your hotel bill, can be bought at a discount as an all-day package.
Or, so I hear.
I’m not about to testify for the defense, but this is no time to trust the same government that charges us $29 for a roll of toilet paper, which as Saban says allows us to relate to anybody who ever lost their job, their wife, their pension and had a piano fall on their head in a span of seven minutes.
Which leads me to Chan Gailey: He still has a job, a wife and a pension. But he might want to look up every once in a while Saturday.
Gailey is 0-5 against Georgia and is facing a coach, Mark Richt, who is 6-0 against Tech. Nothing in recent weeks would lead you to believe a change in fortunes is forthcoming. And I think Dan Radakovich just pushed a large object out the window.
This is a rivalry game. Upsets happen. A narrow point-spread notwithstanding, this one would be a monster.
But: Just. Don’t. See it.
Room service: Send up a lock. Georgia covers 3-1/2.
Rivalry Value Menu
(For a complete meal, add a bad Saban analogy for 99 cents.)
• Iron (Deficiency) Bowl: Alabama loses to Louisiana-Monroe and Nick Saban starts babbling something about coming back from
9/11, Pearl Harbor and alcoholism. Somehow he skipped Alabama coming back from the greatest catastrophe of all: Nick Saban. This would make four straight losses. Wow. He really did take them to another level. Auburn covers 6.
• La-Monroe at La-Lafayette: Unfortunately the WarHawks’ soft non-conference schedule is over. Back to the grind of the Sun Belt. (No pick. Just wanted to get that in.)
• Tennessee at Kentucky: The Vowels have won four straight since losing to Bammy, so the good news for Saban is at least he resurrected one team. Tennessee has dropped Kentucky 22 straight. The Wildcats have gone south (2-4) since a fast start (5-0). But the SEC hasn’t made sense all year so why start now. Cats do Dogs a favor: win and cover 3.
• Florida State at Florida: The Gators have scored 159 points in three games since losing to Georgia. The Seminoles used to score like that. Anybody notice that Jimbo Fisher’s offense is scoring fewer points per game than Jeff Bowden’s? Gators cover 14.
• Old Ms. at Missy State: This is known as “The Egg Bowl” because, and I’m not making this up, everybody thinks the trophy looks more like an egg than a football. Further confirmation that they just don’t get out much in Starkville and “Oxford.” Other Dogs cover 6 1/2.
• Arkansas at LSU: Asked about taking the Michigan job, Les Miles said: “I’m completely focused on this place and this team. I want to stay just where I’m at. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to envision it.” In other words, he’s taking the Michigan job. Tigers win, but take the Piggies and 12.
• Clemson at South Carolina: Steve Spurrier said this week, “Our attitude stinks,” felt bad, then corrected himself a few days later, saying: “I meant to say that our effort level is what stinks.” OK, I’ll bite: What’s the difference? Clemson covers the 2 1/2.
• Duke at North Carolina: This week’s Perception Over Reality Award goes to Butch Davis. The Tar Heels are 3-8, Davis received a $291,000 raise and an extension through 2014. Somebody’s channeling Dave Braine. Carolina covers the 14.
• Miami at Boston College: Used to be known as Catholics vs. Convicts. But if Miami players tried to rob a liquor store now, they’d run into a lamppost. The Hurricanes have been outscored 92-14 in the last two weeks by the state of Virginia. Another big day for the Falcons’ next quarterback, Matt Ryan: Eagles cover 141/2.
Permalink | Comments (42) | Post your comment | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC, UGA / SEC
Comments
By DogsAreImportant
November 22, 2007 6:18 PM | Link to this
Dogs are the most important things on the planet, didn’t you know. Thats why per dog they are worth more than what a BEAT writer makes in a year.
By GWJ
November 22, 2007 6:22 PM | Link to this
Go Dogs!! 7 in a row!!
By Carter
November 22, 2007 6:25 PM | Link to this
Can we just get this game over with? I think Troy and Oklahoma St. has a better team than Tech, but we seem to lack motivation for these games. That being said, it will probably be a slow start but strong finish for Georgia. Then, Tech can look forward to going to another Emerald Bowl, Toilet Bowl, or wherever they go.
By E.T.
November 22, 2007 7:21 PM | Link to this
What people are failing to remember is this year Georgia will be without it’s best player,Reggy Ball.
By cooter11
November 22, 2007 7:32 PM | Link to this
When Tech whips uga and KY “does the dogs a favor”, the mighty South’s Easy Conf will have a three loss player in it’s champ game! LOL
Then the dogs lose the chicken bowl!
Hey, it Thanksgiving.
By Tech is Your DADDY
November 22, 2007 7:39 PM | Link to this
what’s the good word? To Hell with UGA!!
By Schultz is a Joke
November 22, 2007 7:49 PM | Link to this
Schultz, you must be doing Yoculan too!
By schlitz
November 22, 2007 8:24 PM | Link to this
stick to the pathetic writing schultz and leave the predictions up to the professionals.. if you are so sure why dont u tell us how much you put on the game? money where your mouth is?
By uo
November 22, 2007 9:44 PM | Link to this
the sec is sooo overrated and weak, Tech has played 4 teams this year better than the doggies: hows this sec boys: missouri beat ole miss cal beat tenn FSU beat ala SFL beat auburn USL beat ala Saturday the ACC wins at least 2 against the sec, FSU vs FL, Clemson vs SC, GT vs GA
By GTBandit22
November 22, 2007 10:04 PM | Link to this
Schultz why don’t you just come out of the closet. You are gay for Ugay
By michaelgee
November 22, 2007 10:35 PM | Link to this
Schultz, your problem is clear. Pick one: Either you are off your meds, you need different meds, or will you share whatever meds you are on? FWIW, the Dawgs are prime for another Stinging. GT is the King of the Giant Killers.
By GTBandit22
November 22, 2007 10:50 PM | Link to this
Jeff, in fact, I am gay, too and am more interested in insults and sleeze than talking football like a real sports fan and man. I seem to like to discuss men more than the gridiron, so… forgive me for being an idiot jerk.
By Gary
November 22, 2007 11:24 PM | Link to this
Looks like no one on the blog today but 12-year-old boys with nothing to say. Shlitz, UO, GTBandit, your mom says its past your bedtime. Jeff, I think your picks are pretty close to the mark but even though you have given up on FSU, I’m a transplanted dog that lives in Tallahassee and hey hate Florida even worse than dog fans. Even though FSU has been inconsistent, I think DC Micky Andrews learned what it takes to stop Tebow from Georgia, put him on his butt, hard and often. FSU has a great defense as long as their offense doesn’t turn the ball over and puts some long drives together. They did beat BC and stayed in the game with Va Tech even with a 3rd string freshman qb who had never taken a snap and a converted receiver playing tailback due to injuries at that position. Both Xavier Lee and Drew Weatherford are back for this game and so is tb Antone Smith. It’ll be tough to beat them in the swamp but I think the game will be much closer than you do and I predict the Noles win. We already know Richts dogs make it 7 in a row over Tech. One last note, despite how deplorable dog fighting is, Vick’s punishment has far exceeded his crime. The guy has no career left and is financially bankrupt. I hope future gifted athletes learn a lesson from Vick’s troubles that playing pro sports for millions of dollars is a privelige, not a right. Millions of fans who will never see the kind of riches pro athletes make, look up to them as role models whether they deserve it or not. Make an effort to lead a decent life and use some common sense when conducting your off-field life. Don’t be a Vick!
By Jeff
November 22, 2007 11:24 PM | Link to this
Tech loses this game and their coach.lol
By KrisG
November 23, 2007 12:47 AM | Link to this
Hey hey Gary… I think you completely missed what Gary was saying about Vick. He does clearly place the blame on Vick, holds him up as an example, but you’re one of those neanderthalic thinkers who can’t comprehend beyond “Get Him.” That is exactly why the punishment has exceeded the crime. Some people think anything more complex than “punish him more” is some kind of apology. Rae Carruth was less villified.
By gtbandit22
November 23, 2007 12:51 AM | Link to this
I am an idiot and a moron, but not as big an idiot and moron as gtbandit22 #2 (He really is #2.) Now, let’s talk some more religion like we did last week is what I say. BTW, insect fans don’t like Gailey because he sounds like he fell of the turnip truck while Richt makes a great impression on everybody, especially when he steps on them with a hobnail boot.
By Drexel Gal
November 23, 2007 12:52 AM | Link to this
I have this queasy feeling that Chan is going to put Dan in a weird predicament …. by beating Georgia. How then, can the goofball newcomer from LSU fire a coach who has a winning record every year, and a win over his chief rival in the current year? It will create even more chaos on The Flats. It should be interesting. I see Tech winning 27-17.
Remember … you read it here first.
By mike
November 23, 2007 1:48 AM | Link to this
Jeff, Why the hatred by you toward Gailey? I’m not a Gailey fan and I think it’s time for a change, but you seem to hate this man. You wrote “He still has a job, a wife, and a pension. But he might want to look up every once in a while Saturday”. Don’t see humor here if that was your point, but maybe more of a personal jab. Or maybe it’s just the popular thing to do, pile on the man while he’s down. But hey, we’re only humans here. Sometimes we have morals or just a job to do.
By Scott
November 23, 2007 5:12 AM | Link to this
Exasperated Nerds love Emerald Nuts
By Matthew
November 23, 2007 7:13 AM | Link to this
So, let me get this right: Georgia Tech hasn’t beaten one team of note all year (no, Clemson doesn’t count), but all of a sudden they’re gonna correct the ship and beat UGA? Why the faith? Just be satisfied with the win over UNC and a trip to a nutty bowl.
By WISHFUL DAWG
November 23, 2007 7:47 AM | Link to this
I hope we can continue this momentum into the SEC title game. But, let’s face it - the Vols will decide whether we get there. A Vol’s loss is much more important than a victory at Tech. I wish we had beat UT. Tech is in the same position as Kentucky - nothing to lose. Unfortunately therfore, the pressure is on the Dawgs. A loss at Tech drops us like a rock in the BCS. If UT also wins, then we are just another Dawg team that could have been great.
Coach Richt will come up with some gimmick, but will it be enough? Or, will it backfire and inspire the enemy?
Tech’s seniors are fed up with losing 3 close games in a row (each by a TD or less, decided in the late 4th quarter) to us, and will play inspired. Georgia will not pound Tech. I have this really bad feeling that we may get our feelings hurt, BAD. I appreciate most of the hype from this paper, but this game REALLY has me WORRIED.
By Dawgcrzy
November 23, 2007 8:05 AM | Link to this
Is 31/2 points the spread? Cmon Gertrude where’s the deed to the house,we can finally get you that new tractor you wanted.It’s gonna be a good Christmas!!! Go Dawgs!!!
By Eric1
November 23, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this
I don’t know if you’re gay or not and frankly it doesn’t matter to me one way or another, but I do know that you are a funny, funny sports writer. Glad you’re not on strike. Thanks for another funny, Friday column. War Eagle!!!
By Russ
November 23, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this
Hey Jeff the UGAg fans would rather read about the long lines at Wallmart.
By Gen Neyland
November 23, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this
Jeffy
But the sec hasn’t made sense all year so why stop now…I could say the same for your picks this year, but hells bells, why stop now..? I am 8-3 with picking the Vols this year while you are 3-8…Any way this one shakes down, I beat you straight up…Vols win 45-33…
By A_Town_Down
November 23, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this
I LIKE WOLF MOVIES!!!!!
By OsamaBinBuzz
November 23, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this
I hear a lot of wishful thinking from the Taliban Techies. Not so fast my friend. I like TECH and I LIKE THEM TO LOSE BAD!! Take a few hours off to watch Tech get steamrolled by a superior Georgia team and then get back to haboring the future terrorists at Tech. I like the way you geeks call UGA players THUGS but at least they are not plotting to blow something up:
Two metro Atlanta Muslim men, including a Georgia Tech student, have been arrested and charged with providing material support for terrorism. The two men have been part of a FBI investigation for the past year, and the federal government alleges that the two young men traveled to Canada last year to meet with known Islamic extremists, where sites for future terrorists attacks were discussed, and how they could go about disrupting the global positioning system (GPS) that the U.S. military uses. The accused men and their families maintain their innocence. In the meantime, the two remain in federal custody.
I’m a Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an infidel!!
Back to the slurpy machines Mohammad!! UGA wins 41-14 for 7 in a row!
RambleON is the king of the nerds!!
By newteamgeardotcom
November 23, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this
go dawgs
By desertdawg
November 23, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this
cooter—you are funny. “souths easiets conference” HAHAHHA. I think the SEC has 11 bowl eligible teams at last look and the nations #1 ranked team—as well as the defending National Champion. keep smokin your good stuff and root on that mighty acc—we will see soon who is the best. be sure and check back in tomorrow night.
By Alabama Jack
November 23, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this
Dogs are good. Dawgs suck.
By ga_tech_92
November 23, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this
Why do we still play this game? Do we get paid like all the other massive underdogs UGA plays? This game is a no win situation for UGA. If they win, they should, because they are clearly the football factory of the state. If UGA looses, they should all (seriously) be fired. What about GT, what’s in it for us? Like Mr.T said….Paiiin. Why do we do this to ourselves? Do we get a big pay check? Why would we subject ourselves to a beat down year after year? The series record is laughable. It’s just a head ache waiting to happen and who benefits? UGA cannot…GT cannot…so…why do we play this game? It’s a no win for both teams.
By Dawgslife
November 23, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this
To the Tech fan that say’s the sec may have a 3 loss team in the conference championship—how bout tech in the ACC last year? THREE LOSSES! And to the Tech fan saying they played 4 teams better than UGA…if that’s right, and it isnt, that would be your reasoning for 4 losses? And Tech 92, what the hell are you talking about? It’s a rivalry. I thought you tech boys were supposed to be smart
By ga_tech_92
November 23, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this
Dawgslife, how can it be a rivalry if it’s completely non-competitive.
By dawgslife
November 23, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
How competitive have OSU-Michigan or Alabama-Auburn been lately. I believe both have a 6 or 7 game win steak. Those are 2 of the biggest rivalries in the country, if not the biggest.
By devbud1
November 23, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this
Jeff Schwartz you are so funny.
By gtne80
November 23, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this
Anyone with any fondness toward Georgia Tech athletics is in favor of Gailey’s dismissal, including myself and DRAD. However, anyone believing that he will not be the head coach next year is deluded. The GTAA is in no financial position to pay his contract and another head coach. We’re stuck with him, for now.
Another thing to consider is whether we could attract a decent candidate if we dismissed a coach who has had a winning record and a streak of bowl games since he got there.
We may be able to dump him after next year. Next year’s schedule is brutal with road games in Blacksburg, Death Valley and Athens. With the number of seniors leaving the squad, it will take a masterful job of coaching to manage a winning season. Plus that shaves one more year off of the white elephant contract.
Another week when I wish I was anywhere near Vegas. I could take the money that I would have won last week by taking UNC and the points and double it up by taking the Dawgs and laying the measly 3 and a half or 4.
Tomorrow’s game is a mere formality. The spread will be more than 3 TDs. Pride and Tashard Choice will keep it from being another record-setter (see previous 51-7)
UGA 42 - GT 6
By ga_tech_92
November 23, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this
38-10 uga
By realyellowblood
November 23, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this
Is this all ! Stating the obvious ? How about at least an attempt at a final score or when Tech fans will start to walk out or something. Your turkey story was more interesting. How about the following: 1. Will the game be close 2. Will Knowshon outrush Tishard 3. Will turnovers/penalties play a big part 4. Will Nesbitt get involved and really contribute 5. Will Stafford be sent to the bench in the 3rd qtr because the game will be wrapped up by then 6. Will GA start out fast or rely, as usual, on a great 4th qtr ? Inquiring minds want to KNOW.
By UGA sucks
November 23, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this
The only reason I’m worried about UGA is preparation. While Tech football players take real classes such as Calculus, UGA football players take Sports Management or whatever b****** classes they sign their athletes up for. So while Tech players actually have to study, UGA players can watch film or listen to Matthew Stafford talk about his feelings. Stafford has a world of pain comin’ to him from Tech’s d-line. He just might have a good cry on the bus ride back.
By Matthew
November 23, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this
Blah, blah, blah… Georgia Tech players are so much smarter.. Reggie Ball can’t count to four. Just because you’ve written an 84 thesis on the best captain of the USS Enterprise doesn’t make you smarter… it means you’ve had less time to make a real contribution to the world.
The best thing Techies can hope for is for the fanbase to dress in yellow for a pi$$ out.
UGA 38 - GNATS 17
buzz off gay wads.
By dawgsforever
November 23, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this
The knats have NO chance…..It will get ugly early. UGA 51 GT 0. That pathetic offense the knats have will score 0 points against the mighty dawgs!
By thwg
November 23, 2007 7:43 PM | Link to this
if Chan is wondering why fans are fed up when he says he is doing all he can, will someone please ask him where was the loyalty after last season. Chan had his suitcase packed for the NFL and encouraged Calvin Johnson to go likewise..only to be denied that opportunity..so he stays at Tech. So fans are hurting recruiting ..do not think Chan cared about recruiting outcome last yr..