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Thursday, September 27, 2007
Schaub satisfies Birds’ munchies
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
And now, this update from the world of natural herbal remedies, while wondering why Michael Vick was ordered to wear an electronic anklet when a dog collar seems so much more appropriate.
A warehouse in Texas storing over 2,000 pounds of marijuana recently caught fire, causing firefighters to inhale fumes while extinguishing the blaze. None of the firefighters were drug-tested, but it’s believed to be the first time somebody actually tried to eat a tire, a hose and part of a barn.
Which leads us to this week’s revelation that Michael Vick flunked a drug test, reaffirming that his fake water bottle in the Miami airport must not have come with a fake urine sample.
It’s not known whether Judge Henry Hudson, who has never been high or even once giggled, will increase Vick’s expected jail time.
But with Vick, Mike Tyson and O.J. Simpson all potentially heading back to prison at about the same time, at least ESPN has the makings of another gutter-level Town Hall meeting. (Live From Leavenworth! It’s Saturday Night!)
What more wonderful timing for the Falcons. They’re 0-3 and the man who would replace Vick, Matt Schaub, returns to town with the Houston Texans.
I’m not necessarily advocating mind-altering substances. But when you’re a home underdog to the Texans, it’s a good time to escape reality. (Just do it before 10 p.m., because after that you’re confined to your house and you’re going to have send a friend out for the Nacho Cheese Doritos.)
Joey Harrington looked good last week. Or were those my clouds talking? Whatever. Smoke this: Falcons win one. (But take the three.)
Value meals
• Clemson at Fool Me Twice: Hello free-fall, my old friend. Georgia Yech outscored Notre Dame and Samford 102-17. Then they got slapped as favorites by Boston College and Virginia. At least this time the Jackets didn’t prolong the tease. They made the Cavaliers look good, which is something even Al Groh hasn’t been able to do. Must you ask? Clemson covers 4.
• Old Ms. at Georgia: For some reason, there’s concern that the Doggies may suffer some sort of letdown after letting the air out of the Saban balloon last week. Why? Just because Mississippi lost by only six points to Florida? The state has been built on “moral” victories since Vicksburg fell after two months. Or was that minutes? More of the same: Georgia covers 15.
• Bammy-FSU (in Jacksonville): If I understand this correctly, FSU has fired two academic advisers and implicated 23 athletes for cheating on tests given on the Internet, but none were football players who’ve actually played this season, which I guess means there’s a chance the Seminoles’ best players are cheaters but at least haven’t played yet, which is good for the future. Wait, that didn’t come out right. Take the gift 2-1/2 — but Alabama wins straight up.
• Auburn at Florida: The Gators could be missing two of their top weapons, Andre Caldwell and Percy Harvin. The Tigers lost to South Florida and Mississippi State. Checkmate! Gators cover 18 1/2.
• LSU at Tulane: When Tulane officials signed up for this game, did they get disability insurance written into the deal? Or did they just figure all of the LSU players would be working for the Tulane players one day anyway? Tigers win (duh), but I’m a sucker for 40 points.
• Bears at Lions: When he retires, Rex Grossman’s greatest career achievement will go down as turning Brian Griese into a viable option. Bears cover 2-1/2.
• Rams at Cowboys: Marc Bulger has bruised ribs, the Rams are 0-3 and owner Georgia “Dollar A Dance” Frontiere is running short on Face Spackle. Another 37 years of torture should even things up. (I’m from L.A. Still a little bitter.) Dallas wins 197-6.
• Steelers at Cardinals: Oh, and look: Allen Rossum returned a kickoff 98 yards for a touchdown and didn’t get arrested, suspended, fined or stoned. He’d never make it here. Pitt covers the six.
• Chiefs at Chargers: Norv Turner (1-2) can tie Marty Schottenheimer (14-2) with a 13-game winning streak. Chargers cover 11-1/2.
• Raiders at Dolphins: If Miami (0-3) keeps losing, it can become the first franchise to go through seasons both winless and undefeated. On a related note, Ricky Williams has applied for reinstatement, but he can’t remember for what. Fish win one, but take the Raiders and 4.
Permalink | Comments (42) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC, UGA / SEC
Carolina game showed Petrino’s offense does work
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mark Bradley
Lost in the wash of DeAngelo Hall’s Sunday psychodrama — speaking of which, you’ve doubtless noted how quickly Hall went from taking any disciplinary action (his words here) “in full stride,” to planning to file a grievance over said action — was something that actually augurs well for the Falcons. Not necessarily in the here and now, but absolutely for future.
That something: Bobby Petrino’s offense worked.
The Falcons amassed 442 yards against Carolina, and those were real yards. (As opposed to what Jim Mora called “empty yards,” meaning the kind run up when a team is two touchdowns behind and the opponent is arrayed in a soft zone.) Joey Harrington passed for 361 yards, which is more than Michael Vick — speaking of whom, can you believe he couldn’t go his first month as a convicted felon without messing up? — ever managed in an NFL game. Harrington, as has been noted, isn’t the greatest quarterback in the world. If Petrino’s scheme can make him look good, imagine what it might do for Matt Ryan or Andre Woodson or Brian Brohm.
More than just Harrington, everybody on offense benefited. Roddy White made plays. Heck, even Michael Jenkins made plays. (I’d still like to see much more of Jerious Norwood, but maybe that’s just me.) An offense that did nothing the first two weeks moved easily and consistently — the Falcons punted once in the first half — and should have built a fat lead. That only a skinny margin was generated, and that Hall essentially overrode it with his emoting, reminds us that these are still the Falcons, but maybe soon they’ll be something different, something better.
With any coach who moves from college to the NFL, the question is always: Will the same stuff work at a higher level? It didn’t for Steve Spurrier, but the belief here is that it will for Petrino. That’s assuming he gets enough players. That’s also assuming DeAngelo Hall learns to zip his lip, which is probably assuming too much.
Permalink | Comments (75) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Quick Hit
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