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Thursday, September 6, 2007
Say cheese! It’s NFL Week 1!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
After too much Pacman, Tank and Ookie, record suspensions and the first opening of an NFL Properties store in Leavenworth, the NFL season begins in earnest Sunday for all remaining law-abiding players, or at least those on parole.
The stress of this offseason clearly has become too much for fans, as evidenced by an incident this week in Des Moines, Iowa, when, and I’m not making this up, a father charged his son with assault after having a bag of Cheetos thrown in his face.
Patrick Hamman threw the bag with such accuracy and force, according to The Associated Press, that it hit his father’s glasses and caused a cut on the bridge of Michael Hamman’s nose. The police report said, “Michael’s T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust.”
Patrick later admitted he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument. Fortunately, that’s not considered a significant violation these days in the NFL, and several teams immediately requested film of the throw.
Which leads us to: Joey Harrington vs. Tarvaris Jackson. My kingdom for a Cheetos bag. One team will win. The other will get Brian Brohm.
Actually, with new coach Bobby Petrino, the Falcons might have fewer problems on offense than defense, where the line is suspect and the secondary includes Jimmy Williams, who’s still looking for a position, and maybe a career.
Two bad teams. Take the one getting points: Falcons and three.
In fact, let’s call an upset. But duck.
Faber College (where Knowledge is Good)
— Brand X at Georgia: Ever buy those one of those plain-wrap products? Looks the same, don’t taste the same. Then you have to go home and argue with your kid for 17 hours and yell, “Froot Oops are just as good! Now shut up and eat!” See, that’s what Steve Spurrier has become. Looks the same, sometimes acts the same. But where’s the bravado, the gloating, the wins? Since leaving Florida, he’s become a generic. He’s a box of “Spur-E-Ar’s!” The Redskins beat him down. At least that made for a shorter fall to South Carolina. This week, the Gamecocks come to Athens. The line is 4. Somebody’s still worrying too much. Doggies cover.
— Samford at Tech: Chan Gailey teams don’t come with guarantees against softies. But let’s just say Appalachian State is the best thing that could’ve happened to Tech players who might otherwise be overdosing on Irish Spring. No line. But let’s say Jackets by two touchdowns.
— Alabama at Vanderbilt: Despite the hiring of Nick Saban, Vandy has climbed two points to only 3 1/2-point underdogs. Gee, I guess everybody didn’t get the memo. Roll-over, Tide? Tempting. But no. Bammy covers.
— Southern Ms. at Tennessee: Vowels running back LaMarcus Coker is back after being suspended for “a medical condition.” Hey, we can all relate. Back in college days, I once mixed Flintstone chewables with Welch’s grape juice and, like, I saw God. A “medical condition” also once led me to eat two cheeseburgers, three bags of Doritos, nine Reese’s and a shoe in a span of 20 minutes. Come to think of it, it’s been way too long since I’ve had “a medical condition.” OK. Where was I? Oh yeah, Tennessee covers 10 1/2.
— Notre Damaged at Penn State: What would they have done to Ty Willingham if he had coached the worst opening-game loss in Notre Dame history? Fortunately, Charlie Weis looks the part. This should be enough to make Joe Paterno feel 90 again. Lions cover 17.
NFL Six-Pack
(I drank one)
— Philly at Green Bay: This will be the 34th meeting between Brett Favre and Donovan McNabb, dating back to the Yalta Conference. Winner gets an artificial knee. Eagles cover 3.
— Bears at Chargers: San Diego fired Marty Schottenheimer, who went 14-2, and replaced him with Norv Turner, who has a career head-coaching record of 58-82-1. We’re all still waiting for the punchline. Fortunately, there’s Rex Grossman. Chargers cover 6.
— Dolphins at Redskins: Mark Brunell has been demoted to third string, which wouldn’t be so bad if anybody could name the first two. I’m feelin’ Miami and 3 on the road.
— Giants at Cowboys: I’m guessing both teams would be in favor of calling off the game in favor of a public stoning of Tiki Barber. Meanwhile, how does the Wade Phillips/Tony Romo duo rate in Dallas lore? Gimme the Giants and 5 1/2 (but Dallas straight up).
Lions at Raiders: Detroit’s stock has never been higher, which immediately tells you it’s still September. But I’ll bite: Take the gift 2 1/2, but Lions win it straight up.
Permalink | Comments (53) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC, UGA / SEC
Petrino says season not a lost cause
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mark Bradley
Flowery Branch — Contrary to popular belief, Bobby Petrino carries no golden ticket in his wallet bearing the words, “The 2007 season won’t be held against you. (Signed) Arthur M. Blank.” Even if he’d been granted such a waiver, Petrino wouldn’t use it. He wants these games to count. He wants the skeptical world to behold what he and his team can do.
Nobody expects Petrino to win without Michael Vick — hence the prevailing Free Pass Theory — except Petrino. He believes in himself and his system. He believes he can win with pretty much anybody. He believes, really and truly, the Falcons have a chance to make the playoffs.
Conventional wisdom, as we know, holds otherwise. Best guesses on the Falcons’ record begin at 6-10 and proceed downward. Most first-year coaches would welcome this absence of pressure. Petrino, as we’re constantly learning, isn’t most coaches.
“I’d rather have high expectations,” he said Thursday. “And we do have high expectations. We expect to win, just as everybody in this building expects to win.”
Outside the building, a weird dynamic exists. Given all the months of upheaval, it feels as if the Falcons have already played their season. (Smiling, Petrino concedes the point: “It does seem like we’ve been here a long time.”) But the schedule didn’t get wiped when the franchise player became a convicted felon. Sixteen games remain, starting Sunday in Minneapolis. Sixteen games to prove there’s life after Vick.
Petrino didn’t want it this way. “I was looking forward to coaching [Vick],” he said, “and I was excited about the potential I saw in mini-camp and OTAs [organized team activities].” But everything changed the day Vick was indicted, from which point the coach made sure his team acted as if the quarterback was gone at least for the season if not forever.
“It ended up being a good thing,” Petrino said, speaking of this pragmatic approach. “I don’t know that everybody thought that at the time. Maybe some of the players thought he could get through it and come back to the team … But now [with the guilty plea] there’s a finality to it. We know he isn’t going to be back this season.”
So the guy who came here to make the most of Vick must persevere with Joey Harrington. If he’s disappointed, Petrino doesn’t show it. A coach’s job is to make the most of whatever he has. He likes what he saw of Harrington in preseason — “It was important to win a couple of games,” said Petrino, whose team won three of four — and doesn’t believe the new quarterback has maxed out. “I think he could have executed a few more times. But he did a good job keeping his poise. And how he reacts is how the team will react.”
If nothing else, the past two months showed us how Petrino reacts to untoward events. He keeps coaching, is how. Nobody has ever had to wrangle a more unruly preseason. Camp began at the time Vick was being arraigned, and the first home exhibition came nine hours after his guilty plea. It’s tempting to label Petrino unflappable, tempting until the man concedes he sometimes feels flapped.
“I get nervous,” he said. And how does this manifest itself? “I lose weight.” He holds up his arm. “I can’t wear my watch in practice now — it slides off.”
He will not, however, feel jittery come Sunday afternoon. He’ll be coaching, and he has coached long enough to know he’s good at it. Rather than viewing the season ahead as a lost cause, he sees only a challenge, same as when Louisville had to play the rest of 2006 after losing tailback Michael Bush in the opener.
And that supposed free pass? Every coach knows there’s no such thing. (Was Dan Reeves given a pass when Vick broke his leg in 2003?) Said Petrino: “Heck, if things don’t go well [in any given season], you might get fired.”
Permalink | Comments (185) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Mark Bradley
