AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2007 > February > 06 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USStranger things have happened
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
THE TUESDAY COUNTDOWN…
10: Predicted Super Bowl score in this space last week: Colts 27, Bears 16. Actual final score: Colts 29, Bears 17. But nailing it (somewhat) wasn’t nearly my Super Bowl highlight.
9: Rain! Downpour! Monsoon! After seeing Atlanta get blown off for another Super Bowl because of weather concerns, how sweet was it to see players hydroplaning across the field in Miami and rich folk in $3,000 seats sitting under rain tarps? Yesss!
8: Don’t know if Michael Vick stayed for the game. Saw where he made a visit to Arthur Blank’s yacht party Saturday night. Don’t know if he had to pass through harbor security.
7: Blank said Vick was “very apologetic” for that thing at the Miami airport. I’m sorry. “Very apologetic” for what? I thought he was innocent? Did I miss something? Dang! Well, I’m sure it will all be in the book one day, “Non-Denial Denials by a Tarnished Organization.” (Let it go? Who, me?)
6: Georgia (the conglomerate, not the state) is suing “Bulldog Movers” for infringing on its trademark, which I guess means that the school owns rights of the entire bulldog species, as well as the colors red and black. In a related story, the use of the phrase, “It was raining cats and dogs,” also now requires court approval.
5: Evander Holyfield has just finished filming an infomercial for, “The Real Deal Grill.” It comes with a lifetime guarantee, in the sense that its namesake believes you can keep using the grill, even long after it breaks down.
4: Love the story about the attempted kidnapping and love-triangle between astronauts. But isn’t there some guy rule that a quickie in another galaxy doesn’t really count as cheating?
3: According to something called the “Post-Chronicle,” Cardinals QB Matt Leinart has recently been seen with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Tara Reid, Scarlett Johansson and Allysa Milano (not all at once). I would say it sounds completely believable, except that the same publication Tuesday reported, “UFOs in Arkansas and Across Louisiana Skies”.
2: Going into tonight’s game against Buffalo, the Thrashers are a sub .500 team in the last 16 games (6-8-2) and a .500 team (11-11-4) in the last 26. Don Waddell keeps saying he likes this team. But how much evidence do you need that it needs another piece?
1: 2008 Super Bowl: Glendale, Arizona. Windstorm. Flying cacti. Philadelphia 16, Cincinnati 13. (Hey, I’m on a roll.)
Permalink | Comments (26) | Post your comment | Categories: Jeff Schultz, Quick Hit
Comments
By Sack Jeff Schultz!!!
February 6, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this
And Jeff you still have a job at Cox World, why?
By rian
February 6, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this
I would assume that Blank means that Vick is very sorry that he tried to pass through a TSA security checkpoint with a bottle w/ a false container. He was innocent of posseession of mj. just let me know when I need to add 2+2 again for you Jeff. Jeff Sucks should still be working the Thrashers beat if he cannot seperate the idea of having a false container (and being sorry for it) and having MJ.
By rian
February 6, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this
I would assume that Blank means that Vick is very sorry that he tried to pass through a TSA security checkpoint with a bottle w/ a false container. He was innocent of posseession of mj. just let me know when I need to add 2+2 again for you Jeff. Jeff Sucks should still be working the Thrashers beat if he cannot seperate the idea of having a false container (and being sorry for it) and having MJ.
By Esteban Bertera
February 6, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this
Your funniest column in a long time. Good work sir.
By The Grinch
February 6, 2007 01:01 PM | Link to this
Funnier than usual, Jeff.
By An Inquiring Mind
February 6, 2007 01:03 PM | Link to this
I’ve got two questions for you, rian:
1) Why did Rich McKay, immediately after the Miami airport incident, say that the organization was very disappointed with Vick?
2) Why would Vick .. or anybody else for that matter … need a water bottle that contains a “secret” compartment?
I look forward to your rationalizations … oops, I meant, your answers.
By rian
February 6, 2007 01:13 PM | Link to this
AN Inquiring Mind,
1) b/c Vick tried to pass thru a national security checkpoint with a bottle with a fake compartment. Would you not apologize if your child did that? weed or no weed. I would!
2) to store the weed…why else? (just kidding…who knows or cares why he has that bottle…maybe for weed…maybe to hold his diamonds while he is “in da club”) The obvious answer is to hide something he should not be doing. And if you think he is the only QB in the NFL or only Falcon to “need to hide something he shouldn’t be doing” you are ignorant. Heck he probably isn’t even the onbly Falcons QB who needs to hide something they shouldn’t be doing.
By scribe
February 6, 2007 01:18 PM | Link to this
oh god… here we go again. Can we just get a real problem to obsses over? We’re stuck for the next five years
By rian
February 6, 2007 01:29 PM | Link to this
I agree..Schultz needs to let it die. I would…but I heard somewhere that journalists are held to a higher standard so I will just wait on Jeff to let it die.
By mo
February 6, 2007 01:39 PM | Link to this
Hey,
What kind of offense will Petrino will be running next year?
Oh, and where will we be making changes in the offensive line?
In other words, we could talk about real issues instead of old fake ones.
By rian
February 6, 2007 01:46 PM | Link to this
Mo, Since we just locked up McClure, Forney and Weiner (better known as the whole right side of the line)to 5 year deals, I guess the change will come on the left. Gandy may be a cap casualty and Lehr is garbage.
I feel good a/b Forney (probably our best lineman) and can live with McClure but I am not to happy about being stuck with Weiner for 5 years since we don’t cut block. Good question though Mo. I do not know the answer. I would like a big 320 pound beast to come in and anchor that left side (instead of Gandy and his huge cap # and weary knees)
By backattack
February 6, 2007 02:19 PM | Link to this
LOL I am still laughing about the “raining cats and dogs” comment. Jeff, you are one funny guy.
By Viagra
February 6, 2007 03:25 PM | Link to this
I hope Evander didn’t impregnate the young lady in the photo.
By rdawg
February 6, 2007 03:43 PM | Link to this
You’ll only need a court order if you say “its raining cats and dawgs”…
By L. M. Hull
February 6, 2007 03:52 PM | Link to this
Speaking of “cats and dogs” et al, I hear that Rotor Rooter is thinking about putting a yellow jacket on their logo.
By johnny D
February 6, 2007 04:34 PM | Link to this
I heard the raiders and falcons have agreed in principle to trading Randy Moss and the facons first round pick, for the first pick in the second rd. Can you confirm?
By johnny d
February 6, 2007 04:36 PM | Link to this
I heard the raiders and falcons have agreed in principle to trading Randy Moss, and their first pick in the second rd, for the falcons first rd pick. Can you confirm?
By de-cider
February 6, 2007 04:52 PM | Link to this
more minutes of my life wasted expecting Schultz to have something interesting to read. People actually thought something this column was funny? L.M. Hull made the funniest comment.
By Matthew at the SLC
February 6, 2007 06:28 PM | Link to this
Johnny D, where do you get your info? I hope it’s not from that idiotic football rumor mill site. Yeah, they may hit on one actual nugget of truth, but they’re usually so full of crap, that you can smell the stink through the computer. Like how they “report” (meaning make up) that their “league insiders” wonder Michael Vick is being given the opportunity to audible.
Yeah, like Vick shouldn’t have the same responsibility that every other single QB in football has, and that Greg Knapp’s idiocy is one of the things that hindered the Falcons offense all season long. I don’t know who their “league insiders” are, but I think it might be their idiot editor, who has a little vendetta against Vick. Then again, Vick was a Hokie, and this guy is a Mountaineer fan, so I guess that has nothing to do with it. But this site just does the tabloid thing of throwing enough crap against the wall, that something might stick. That’s what that site it… a tabloid for the NFL. That’s what that football rumor site is. They’re the National Enquirer of the NFL. And when they report actual news, it isn’t coming from them. They don’t report anything. They take news from the late AP-wire, and post it on their site. Yes, they give links, but nothing originates with them.
I mean, if you listen to actual NFL insiders like Mort, or listen to the Falcons beat writers, like Steve Wyche, they’ll tell you that not only did they openly wonder why Vick could not audible and why Greg Knapp would put his offense into such a no-win situation, but they’ll tell you that the Falcons locker room hated the fact that the offense couldn’t audible when the defense knew what was coming, which, because Greg Knapp is such an unimaginative playcaller, they knew about 75% of the time.
And Johnny D, if you listen to guys with real credibility, and not some rumor-mongering, tabloid site with questionable (okay, no) ethics, they’ll tell you that all of the Randy Moss rumors to the Falcons are a JOKE. Arthur Blank would never, EVER let Moss near this team. Neither would McKay, and neither would Petrino, I’m sure. So stop believing every wild rumor you hear. Especially if it comes from that football rumor website, which is like a poor man’s version of aint it cool news, but only for the NFL.
By Nono
February 7, 2007 04:58 AM | Link to this
Davenpoop for board monitor——you’ve got my vote Kick all the fakes off this board please. Come with a witty comment, or factual just make it real and not racial garbage—go vent with Terrance.
I had a horrible dream last night Our professional football team gave the worst passing attack in the league despite a QB with the highest salary and he was comparing himself to Superman with a cape and also said he was carrying the team and should run for 2000 yards next year. Kind of a Me ideology and not team. Did I hear this? or was it just a bad dream. Try winning 8 games next season, fool, and yeah we dumb fu^ks, the ones who buy tickets, the ones you flipped off know that there are 11 people on offense and 11 on defense——-dat makes 22, I does believe.
5 reasons Vick wont make it through next season
5 Even before the months out he will be involved in another fracus, this time at a night club that involves a shooting. No charges will be filed against him, but some of his posse will see the inside of a jail cell.
4 Arthur Blank and Rich McKay will surprise the crap out of the whole city and ship his butt to the west coast.
3 Vick will hyper-extend his knee in an August preseason game, sidelining him for 6 to 8 weeks, giving us fools enough time to see that Schaub and Shockley can run this offense with more effienency, skill and quicker reads.
2 Coach Petrino will be be the answer we need, and not Arthur’s yes man and sit Mike during the second game of the regular season because, frankly he was having another one of those crappy Mike Vick games. Yeah coach for having the balls to want to win.
1 Mike will retire from professional from football only to reveal to the world his true identity——Superman with a flowing red cape. He is going to save the entire universe from evil———thanks Mike——your such a hero!!
By ERIC
February 7, 2007 09:25 AM | Link to this
Vick Is The most OVERRATED player in history!! Put Schuab in now!! Does anyone remember FARVE! Thats whats gonna happen there gonna screw around let schaub go and he gonna go to another team and win a super bowl. Remember FARVE!!!!
By Devastator
February 7, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this
Vick needs to go back to the ghetto where he obviously came from.
By brewerfaninATL
February 7, 2007 01:43 PM | Link to this
Hey ERIC, it’s spelled F-A-V-R-E, not FARVE, you idiot! And no, Schaub is definately no Favre!
By Ol' Pa
February 7, 2007 05:36 PM | Link to this
OK, why does commenting on Teri Myler Moore’s column get shut off so quickly nowadays, when it stays open for other columnists who post on the same day, i.e. Bradley and Shultz? The AJC is about as consistent with this stuff as Michael Vick.
By Devastator
February 7, 2007 06:15 PM | Link to this
hey brewerfaninATL,
It’s spelled definetly you imbecile!!
By Chris
February 8, 2007 12:30 AM | Link to this
Why should we let the Vick airport event go when we have YET TO HEAR A SINGLE WORD FROM VICK ON THE SITUATION. What a joke Vick is.