AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > November > 30 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USPredictions you’ll flip over
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Let me just start by saying I had no problem with Michael Vick extending his middle finger last week, although given the way things have gone this season, it might be a good idea to keep all five wrapped around the football.
See, it’s sort of like reading defenses. Young quarterbacks can’t tell where the problems are, and they throw the ball in the direction.
Similarly, the problem is not that Vick gave somebody the symbolic equivalent of, “Hey, you not the man.” He just flipped it in the wrong direction.
Mike, buddy, those people up there help pay your salary, buy your jersey, wear your shoes, kiss your posters, fly your AirTran. Those people pretty much ran over Chris Chandler for you. Although, granted, you were only about reason No. 97 to run over Chris Chandler.
I mean, dude, if you want to extend the finger, there are plenty of creatures to salute.
Your receivers. Your blockers. Your coaches.
Donald Rumsfeld. Donna Shalala. Al Jazeera.
The BCS.
Me. For every time I wrote: “Falcons cover.” Never again.
The Falcons have dropped four straight. It’s their longest losing streak since Vick had a broken leg. You can walk around Flowery Branch these days, point any finger in anybody’s direction and say, “He’s lost it.” The most recent example is the poor maligned receivers coach, George Stewart, who, like the rest of us, was under the misguided assumption that anybody who made it to the NFL shouldn’t have to be taught how to catch a pass.
Addressing the receivers’ drops, Stewart said the other day: “For anything to grow, it has to die.”
I’m sorry. Is he forecasting a resurrection? (Apologies to my rabbi.)
Forget the healing hands. The Falcons are in Washington. The Redskins are favored by two fingers. Read this: ‘Skins cover.
Bowl Appetizers
ACC: Nothing against Georgia Tech or Wake Forest. But when Miami and Virginia Tech joined FSU in the ACC, conference officials envisioned something flashier than “Morticians Convention” on the marquee this week. Empty sections of All-Tel stadium may be converted to picnic areas. And now for something completely different: Tech can win a conference title. I’m banking on no Georgia hangover here. Jackets cover 2 1/2.
SEC: In two previous title games, Arkansas lost to Florida and Georgia by a combined 64-6, give or take a kidney. The Bulldogs led 23-0 in 2002 before the first oink. I hadn’t seen so many depressed Arkansas fans since Golden Corral ran out of cheese sludge. The Gators seldom overwhelm, but it helps that their strength (run defense) counters Arkansas’. On to the Who’s No. 2 debate: Florida covers 2 1/2
Pac-10: Pete Carroll might’ve been a chucklehead in the NFL, but he should be college coach of the year for what he’s done after losing 11 players to the NFL draft last year (including Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart). UCLA, conversely, might’ve been better off if it lost 11 players. Trojans win. But I’ll jump on 13 1/2 in a rivalry game.
Pros and Ex-Cons
Cowboys at Giants: Michael Strahan threw a teammate (Plaxico Burress) under the bus on his radio show, blamed the media for trying to “create” a situation, then said he had cleared the air with Burress, which, of course, was news to Burress. Meanwhile, Eli Manning is back to just being Peyton’s brother. And you thought the Falcons were a mess. Cowboys cover 3 1/2.
Bucs at Steelers: For any Iron City-soused Steelers fan (including my wife) who believed Ben Roethlisberger might get better as the season wore on, chew on this: The Dude has 15 turnovers (12 interceptions, three fumbles) in the past five games. Pitt wins this, but forget covering seven.
Raiders of the Lost Minds: Warren Sapp claims people have tried to poison his room service meals. But judging by the profile, I’m assuming he kept the food down. Oakland covers three against Houston.
Jaguars at Dolphins: Nick Saban says he doesn’t want the Alabama job. Guess he figures after winning four straight games with Joey Harrington, one miracle is enough. Fins cover 1 1/2.
Seahawks at Broncos: Mike Shanahan is the best offensive coach in the league. But a 7-4 team switching quarterbacks (Jake Plummer to Jay Cutler) in Game 12 ranks somewhere between risky and lunacy. Seattle in an upset (but take the gift three).
Boo Chip Indicators
(Talk to our debt consultants about refinancing options.)
Last week: 5-5 straight up, 3-7 against the line.
Bottom line.: 76-43 straight up, 54-63-2 against the line.
(Record against the line reflects adjustment after alert reader Mary noticed I actually went 4-6-1 two weeks ago, not 6-5, as my accounting department indicated. And I’m so grateful to Mary for catching that. Really. Honest. Hey, Mary: Don’t you have to be somewhere?)
Permalink | Comments (9) | Post your comment | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC
Comments
By steverino
December 1, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this
Seeing as how I had to hunt through ajc.com for this column(shows EXACTLY how small my life is,) I thought I show be the first to posit an opinion. Gee, I sure am glad I did not get too excited about Shultzie’s early successes at prognostication and actually begin to take his pick’s seriously. Sort of mirrors my experience with the Falcons-a brief tease followed by disappointment. I gotta go-I think I’m gonna stick my wife into the oven.
By Golden Corral Gal
December 1, 2006 01:07 PM | Link to this
This column was harder to find (and I’m a fan) than it is to find a toothbrush in Arkansas. Glad I tracked it down, though. Love that line on old Warren Sapp. Good thing this guy doesn’t have to sit in the Ga. Dome like the rest of us. Talk about poison food! Somebody from this paper ought to review the lousy grub and lamebrains who serve it. I waited 10 minutes for the numbskulls at a hot-dog stand to make a coke and find a hot dog — oh, AND catch one of the passes Roddy White flubbed!
By TechFan
December 1, 2006 03:23 PM | Link to this
Hey Jeff, you and I now have something in common. We foolishly believed in reggie “I’m glad he’s used up his eligibility” ball. Take Wake. Seriously.
By L.J.
December 1, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this
steverino, I am LMAO at your oven joke. You are a fool…in a funny way!
By tnbird
December 1, 2006 04:46 PM | Link to this
This column just totally sucks!
By billgt
December 1, 2006 04:51 PM | Link to this
hey Jeff, I live, sorry, survive and exist, just outside Little Rock. Believe me, the Clampetts had a lot of class, compared to the people that live here. Know what the best pick up line in an AR bar is? ” Nice tooth”. “Floss’ is something they might do after using the bathroom. No matter how bad you think it is, it is worse! I will be moving back to SC in 2007, can’t wait to escape this hellhole.
By L.J.
December 1, 2006 07:14 PM | Link to this
To billgt,
Are you suggesting that SC is an upgrade over Arkansas? Now that’s funny!
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in SC?
Answer: Because if it had been anywhere else, it would have been called a “teeth” brush.
By Bear
December 1, 2006 08:35 PM | Link to this
Jeff,
I though you guys had already sent in the forfeit for this one. These guys have given up on football and are only concerned with not getting hurt so they can keep the free agent price high for next year. You’re altogether too optimistic. If you insist that they go through with the game, I suspect that they’ll get clobbered by a handful, just like last week, and it won’t even be as pretty as last week. Go ahead, Jeff, send in the forfeit before it’s too late.
By Calvin
December 1, 2006 08:50 PM | Link to this
Donald Rumsfeld is much funnier than you, J.S.