AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > November > 09
Thursday, November 9, 2006
Auburn, Jackets, Falcons will roll
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Before unveiling this week’s lead-poop locks from our team of insiders, who have been so inside of late that apparently even our projected winners are oblivious, this financial update:
The India city of Patna is trying to remedy its problem of deadbeat taxpayers by hiring, and I’m not making this up, a collection team of 20 eunuchs. (Why do I sense everybody just dropped their newspaper and lowered their hands into a protective position?)
Well, it turns out that eunuchs, according to an Associated Press story, “often make a living on tips for dancing at weddings and blessing newborn babies, and are believed to be stubborn and do not take no for an answer.” Because, like, what else could you possibly do to them?
Collections have been so successful that Patna is planning to recruit even more eunuchs. The expansion plans coincide with the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld and massive Republican losses in Congress, although that might just be coincidence.
I bring this up for two reasons: 1) If you followed some recent investment advice, the good news is that you don’t have a tax problem, though you could develop “eunuch issues” if this continues; 2) There is absolutely nothing interesting to say about the Georgia-Auburn game.
Auburn is favored by 13 points. I’m not sure about organs.
The Trembling Chihuahuas have lost four of their past five, and the only win came over Mississippi State. They were so bad last week that Kentucky fans stormed the field afterward and tore down a goal post, resulting in the school being fined $5,000 by the SEC. (The fine could increase to $50,000 if there’s another violation before 2009. Fortunately, Kentucky is not due to win another SEC game until 2010.)
At 6-4, the Dogs are bowl-eligible only because of a win over 1-AA Western Kentucky. But bowl-eligible and bowl-guaranteed are two different things. Thought you’d want to know that before they finish 6-6 and head to the Eunuch Bowl.
Drop and protect. Auburn covers.
Local fare
• Tech at Yech: Nice homecoming game for North Carolina. Tech is about to clinch an ACC title-game berth, and John Bunting is watching game tape on a projector on a TV tray in the hallway, because Butch Davis is redecorating the office. Feel the love. Factoid: Calvin Johnson has more touchdown catches (11) than Carolina’s roster (9). Jackets cover 13 1/2.
• Browns at Falcons: A loss to Detroit was bad. A loss to Cleveland would be worse. The Lions are a bad football team. The Browns are that indecipherable, green, fuzzy substance in a Ziplock bag that got pushed to the back of the fridge and was discovered 17 months later. And you DON’T want to open that bag. They are 31st in rushing and 29th in rush defense. They also have 20 turnovers. Three more and the franchise gets a tax writeoff. Falcons cover eight.
Britney Spears value menu
(Buy any three picks and win a chance to date a twice-married 24-year-old with two kids and baggage. We’ll throw in the six-pack, the trailer and the Alabama tickets.)
• Vanderbilt at Kentucky: The game has been canceled. Both sides agreed it would be more fun to just watch films of the Georgia games.
• The King and It: Steve Spurrier returns to Gainesville. Unfortunately, he didn’t bring a team with him. But I’m guessing four quarters of bows and adulation from 88,000 swooning Gators fans will suffice. By the way, the other guy is Urban Meyer. Florida covers 13 1/2.
• Alabama at LSU: The good news is it can’t get any worse for Mike Shula — you get to play Mississippi State only once, and ‘Bama already lost that game. Asked if players still believe in Shula, fullback Tim Castille said: “We have to. We don’t have a choice right now.” Um. So was that an endorsement? Tigers roll, but won’t cover 18.
• Miami at Maryland: Larry Coker is a nice man and a solid coach who has been thrown under the bus by half of his players and driven over by the other half. But as Donna Shalala would tell you, it’s easier to fire the coach than jail all of the players. Fear the Turtle. Terps cover three.
• Wake Forest at FSU: As a significant underdog to a team with three fewer wins, this would be a good time for the Deacons to play the no-respect card. The only problem with that is they’re about to get smacked in the head. Seminoles cover 8 1/2.
• Tennessee at Arkansas: The Razorbacks have won eight straight. Two more and somebody might actually be able to name one of their players. Piggies cover 5 1/2.
Financial report
• Last week: 5-4 straight up, 4-5 against the line.
• Bottom line: 58-32 straight up, 45-44-1 against the line.
Permalink | Comments (106) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC, UGA / SEC
One Holyfield fan won’t doubt him again
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Terence Moore
San Antonio — Just as Lou Duva, the usually perceptive boxing trainer, was wrong 14 years ago about whether Evander Holyfield should continue to stick and move, such is the case for everybody in the free world right now.
Well, nearly everybody. I haven’t a problem with Holyfield sliding between the ropes on his 44-year-old legs tonight inside the Alamodome. He’ll face somebody named Fres Oquendo, who is better than you think, by the way.
Guess who also shrugs at the thought of Holyfield fighting for a second time since a 21-month layoff that followed the ugliest of three-bout losing streaks? Duva.
Except for his Fred Flintstone face that turned 84 in May, this is the same Duva who refused to work with Holyfield after his fighter lost a grueling outing in November 1992 to Riddick Bowe in Las Vegas. “I could have stood with him,” said Duva on Thursday, among those at a renovated railroad depot that served as the weigh-in site for Holyfield-Oquendo. “Instead, my thoughts were that he had made a couple of million dollars, and I just told him, ‘You’ve had a good life. You’ve been a good representative for the sport. Everybody loves you. Give it up.’ I thought it was a good idea at that time.”
It was a bad idea for any time. To the surprise of Duva and others, Holyfield took the rematch against Bowe, and the two fought again to form a trilogy that rivaled that of Ali-Frazier. Then there was Holyfield knocking the invincibility out of Mike Tyson with a TKO in 11 rounds and with a victory by disqualification during the infamous Bite Fight.
Holyfield struggled after that, partly because of age, but mostly because of injuries that included shoulders that are now surgically repaired. The healthy Holyfield began his quest to become the only five-time undisputed heavyweight champion three months ago with ease against the undwerwhelming Jeremy Bates.
Still, Duva saw enough that night in Dallas to apologize to the Atlanta guy he trained and managed after he first turned pro following his bronze medal in the 1984 Olympics. “I just didn’t know,” said Duva, referring to the extent of Holyfield’s aches and pains that eventually were healed either with time or through a surgeon’s hands.
Added Duva, who has a fighter on tonight’s undercard, “Just ask yourself this question: Is there an outstanding heavyweight out there today? There’s no Muhammad Alis out there. There’s no Joe Fraziers out there. No Joe Louis or Rocky Marciano. Why shouldn’t Evander keep fighting, if that’s what he wants to do? The heavyweight division is way down, and Evander just trains, trains, trains, to stay in excellent shape.”
For one, Holyfield looked as fit as ever on the scales at 217 3/4 pounds to the 33-year-old Oquendo’s 220 pounds. For another, Holyfield sounded as sharp as ever, and I’ve dealt with him frequently since we first met more than two decades ago when he was just another Olympic hopeful.
Even so, everybody else in the world sees Holyfield as a disaster in the ring waiting to happen, or one that already exists.
Holyfield smiled, recalling how he has encountered folks throughout Texas suggesting that he should hang up his gloves and enjoy life on his massive estate with his 11 kids.
“Well, you know, this is different, because Georgia people are afraid to say what they really feel,” Holyfield said, relaxing in a back room before the weigh-in. He made a contorted face, adding: “They’ll have that look, and they’ll say, ‘So why do you want to do this? You’ve got this great name. You can get into movies. You have so many ways you can make money.’?”
Yeah, but there is only one way that Holyfield can become the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world again, and he’s doing it.
Permalink | Comments (9) | Categories: Terence Moore
“Fire Mark Richt” talk is lunacy
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mark Bradley
We can agree that Georgia has become shockingly mediocre. We can agree that this hasn’t been Mark Richt’s finest hour. We can agree that Richt could use an offensive coordinator. But when the words “Fire Mark Richt” begin appearing in AJC.com blogs …
We will never agree.
The Internet provides ease of access and absence of accountability, meaning anyone can say pretty much anything anytime without suffering even the slightest consequence. But often I wonder if the faceless folks doing the typing actually realize what words they’re forming. Even if you believe — as I do, and I’ve said as much — that the Bulldogs should be better than they are, how does that lead to the conclusion that Georgia should dump the man who is, at absolute worst, the third-best coach (after Dooley and maybe Butts) in school history?
I try not to indulge in this sort of rebuttal because I believe it only feeds the lunatic fringe, but just this once, here goes. Say Richt gets fired. (There’s absolutely no chance of that happening in the real world, but we’re playing cyber-pretend.) Who does Georgia hire who’s any better? (Only four living men have won more SEC titles — Spurrier, Dooley, Dye and Majors. One’s 61. The others are older still. See a long-term candidate there?) Where does Georgia get the money to pay off Richt’s contract? (It runs through 2013 and is worth $16 million all told.) Where does Georgia go to find even a shred of credibility after dumping a coach who’d won at least 10 games four seasons running? (Answer: No such place exists.)
In the real world, nobody wins all the time. (Not even the Yankees. Not even the Republicans.) In the real world, the first solution to a problem isn’t to fire a clearly competent worker but to reassess and maybe to work a little harder. No, Georgia shouldn’t have lost to Vandy and Kentucky in the course of 21 days, but it happened. I have every confidence Mark Richt won’t let it happen again.
Permalink | Comments (220) | Categories: Mark Bradley, Quick Hit
