AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > November > 02
Thursday, November 2, 2006
Falcons, Jackets, Dogs all prevail
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Neptune — Hello. I thought a change of venue might help.
This may come as a shock, but sometimes even the best investment advice is not foolproof. In the past two weeks, Michael Vick has thrown seven touchdown passes, the Oakland Raiders have won twice and, in a slightly more predictable development, Anna Nicole Smith was elected to the Supreme Court.
The fact that none of the above was forecast in this space should not affect your confidence in Weekend Predictions, W.P. Investments, W.P. Frozen Foods, W.P. Show Us Your Hot and Barely Legal Write-offs Videos or any of our subsidiaries.
Also, Weekend Predictions Inc. has announced the suspension of its NFL research team after multiple positive drug tests, which regrettably were not performance enhancing.
This week, those pass-happy Falcons visit the Detroit Lions. I’m guessing they’re breaking out the run-and-shoot. But to ease the transition during this restructuring, W.P. has joined forces with the highly respected online Crystal Ball at Predictions.Astrology.Com/CB.
So I asked: “Will Michael Vick throw at least two touchdowns against Detroit?”
Response: “The Crystal Ball is searching for your answer.”
Then, a pop-up ad flashed, “Are you sure he’s the one? Get a free psychic love reading.” (He? Excuse me?)
Then the answer: “You will be very happy with the outcome.” Forget the help. I can handle this one.
The Lions are 1-6. Only three teams have a worse pass defense, and I think two of them are in the Sun Belt. Some see this as a “trap” game. I only know what the spirits tell me.
Besides, I’m due.
Falcons cover 5 1/2.
Back to school • Tech vs. Moe-Larry-Curly-Carolina: The Jackets have not quite ascended to automatic win status. But their final three ACC opponents (N.C. State, UNC, Duke) are a combined 4-20. Even Bill Lewis could steer this sucker to Jacksonville. The six is covered.
• Rut-roh: The Dogs officially have hit bottom — they’re Kentucky’s homecoming opponent. Georgia leads the SEC with 22 turnovers. The Wildcats aren’t very good, either, but they do have Ashley Judd. So at least there’s a view from the bottom. Nonetheless: Trembling Chihuahuas cover seven.
• Meineke Car Care Bowl Elimination Game: Virginia Tech and Miami are a combined 5-4 in the ACC, which pretty much is the way the ACC drew it up before expansion. Right. At least the Hokies have a quality win this season (Clemson). This week, it’s just a win. The 2 1/2 is covered.
• Maryland at Esso: Clemson must be making progress. Four days after beating Georgia Tech, coach Tommy Bowden was hit in the head by a flying whiskey bottle at Virginia Tech, which, as we know, is sort of like getting the key to the city in Blacksburg. Tigers win, but won’t cover 16.
• Florida at Vanderbilt: The Commodores have four softball wins this season: Tennessee State, Temple, Duke and Georgia. (You know, this job’s a lot easier when I don’t have to make it up.) Gators cover the 17.
• LSU at Tennessee: The Tigers are 1-11-1 all time in Knoxville. I’m not sure if that means anything, but I try to look up something once a month, and now I’m covered for November. Bucking trends: Vowels go down, take LSU and three.
• Virginia at Flawed State: The Seminoles are 2-4 in the ACC. The good news is, Bobby Bowden turns 77 next week, so he can sit with friends around the old Victrola and reminisce about 10-win seasons. ‘Noles win, but take Virginia and 12.
• Arkansas at South Carolina: The SEC came down on the Gamecocks this week for excessively playing the rooster crow over the PA, apparently failing to realize that’s not a recording but the state legislature. Crow this: Take the 2 1/2, Poultry pulls an upset.
Gross national products • Last week: Never happened. • But if it did: 4-6 straight up, 3-7 against the line. • Treading water: 53-28 straight up, 41-39-1 against the line.
Permalink | Comments (148) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC, UGA / SEC
Tour stars’ absences of responsibility
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Furman Bisher
Who dominated the commissioner Tim Finchem’s annual state of the PGA Tour press conference the other day? An absentee.
A full-page ad in color, trumpeting the approaching Tour Championship at East Lake, featured one central figure, the same absentee finishing a tee shot. “Only at East Lake Can You See So Many Stars in Broad Daylight,” the ad proudly proclaims.
One you won’t see this weekend is Tiger Woods, another is Phil Mickelson, the PGA Tour’s two leading marquee American attractions. Another is Stephen Ames, the Trinidadian by way of Canada, but he has an excuse. A bad back caused him to pull out of the past two tournaments he attempted. But, to show you how generous the PGA Tour is, Ames will still collect whatever his share of the purse might be. I’m not sure that the same applies to Mickelson and Woods, not that it matters. For certain, nobody will be passing the hat for them in their absence.
This is becoming a habit with Mickelson. He pulled out last year, and say this for him, on both occasions he gave the tournament sponsors ample warning. As soon as he returned from the Ryder Cup debacle in Ireland, he let it be known he will not rejoin the tour until the Bob Hope Tournament (presented by George Lopez?) in January.
Him, you might forgive. He is still recovering from his crushing finish in the U.S. Open, when it seemed he had in his pocket.
He gave that calamity his own creative benediction: “I am such an idiot,” he said. He found no dissenters. That considered, he could be forgiven his absence at East Lake had he not thumbed his nose at the tour’s crown jewel event last year.
Now, Tiger. Why wait until the week before the championship? Finchem, at his press conference, said, “Now that I know the details of Tiger’s thing from last week, I understand how he came to his conclusion. … He needed some time away.”
I’m not sure what “thing” he’s talking about, but the only “thing” I understand is that next week Tiger will be playing in China, which is a long way away, and he’s guaranteed $4 million. If he should have played at East Lake and won, his take would have been $1,170,000. If that’s what the commissioner means, then I understand, too. It’s all about the money, but not quite. You see, Tiger’s track record at East Lake has been a rocky one. Five times he has played in the Tour Championship here and he hasn’t won yet. He has finished 20th, 7th and second three times. Retief Goosen blew him out on Sunday in ‘04 and the agrarian Bart Bryant beat him by six strokes last year. In fact, he has won only one Tour Championship, and that was played at the Champions Course near Houston in 1999.
That being the case, could Tiger have been concerned about his winning streak? That his pursuit of Byron Nelson’s 11 straight might come a cropper? We shall never know, but no one can deny our right to suspect so. All that’s left to be played are those concoctions of the “silly season,” then in January, Woods can cherry-pick his way along the tour and keep the streak alive. That’s a damning suggestion to make, I suppose, but what this does is prove that money isn’t everything to him. It’s just a gauge of success.
The Tour speaks proudly of its increase in purses, it’s devotion to charity and the wealth provided its players. But what it has done is create a society of independently wealthy, two-legged corporations, all in this business for themselves, some who show up and are just happy to collect a little walking-around cash. Tiger is on the verge of creating his own private world, as if to say, who needs the tour?
This is not one of his brighter and more admirable moments. Let’s face it, no matter what a world-class attraction he has become, he still needs a stage, and the tour is that stage. Just how much Finchem’s efforts to recharge and reconstruct the PGA Tour to make it so appealing that no player can stay away will have on him is unlikely to change Tiger’s MO. Who knows, next thing you know he may create his own tour, then what?
Permalink | Comments (13) | Categories: Furman Bisher
Sadly: Same ol’, same ol’ Hawks
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mark Bradley
It’s only one game. And if one game was a true measure, then the reigning NBA champion would be in the running for worst-team-in-history infamy. (The Miami Heat lost their home opener by 42 points, as you might have noticed.) That said …
If the Hawks were looking for anything approaching instant gratification regarding their two big offseason acquisitions … well, they’re still looking.
Speedy Claxton, the $25 million point guard, had no baskets and no assists in his debut.
Shelden Williams, the No. 5 player chosen in the June draft, had no points and three rebounds.
Both players will do better. (They could hardly do worse.) And surely Marvin Williams will make some difference when he returns from a broken finger. But this forlorn franchise is in dire need of something that will keep us from shaking our heads and saying, “Same old Hawks.” And in the first of 82 games, this seemed very much the same old same old.
Permalink | Comments (17) | Categories: Mark Bradley, Quick Hit
