AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > October > 12 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USA look at the Sonny side of life
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Three Burger King workers were arrested this week in New Mexico for putting marijuana in the hamburgers of two policemen. Suspicions arose when the officers went back to the counter for 37 orders of fries and 16 milkshakes. The good news is, the restaurant had record sales, and B.K. has plans to launch, “The Spicoli Burger,” then figures to start buying small countries.
See, I’m all about looking at the bright side now. Gov. Bobblehead has shown me the way.
Hypothetically speaking, if a governor got a tax bill passed that will save him $100,000 on a land swap while everybody else was sleeping or in the john, I’m all for it. At least it benefits generations of little hypothetical Perdue-ettes.
If somebody panics over a potential gas shortage and cancels school, at least it helps TV ratings, and Sesame Street could even help SAT scores.
You’re right, Sonny. Georgia allows 27 points in the fourth quarter to Tennessee and loses, but we shouldn’t criticize. We should praise the Bulldogs for the three quarters they DIDN’T allow 27 points. Call me Sunshine. It’s you and me, Sonny. I got you, Babe. (It’s OK. I’m up to date on my shots.)
Anything Dawg-related, I am so there. Especially in an election year.
This week, the Falcons face the overrated New York Giants. The Giants have a quarterback who went to Mississippi. His brother went to Tennessee. I assume neither one was good enough to go to Georgia. Arf.
The Falcons haven’t scored in their past 11 red-zone possessions, but they have two Georgia players on the roster and the Giants don’t have any. Also, offensive coordinator Greg Knapp played at Sacramento State, which is almost like Macon. Why even play the game?
The line says Falcons by 3. Are you kidding? With D.J. Shockley as the third-string quarterback? That is so covered.
Faber College
(Where Knowledge is good)
Inferior Educational Facility at God’s University: Georgia has quarterback issues. But do people complain that the Mona Lisa needs a fresh coat? Or that Michelangelo forgot to put a pair of boxers on David? My goodness, people, why harp on the fact we rank 46th in SAT scores, when we’re ahead of four states, three dollar stores and several members of the General Assembly? This week, it’s Vanderbilt. Fresh meat. Ferocious Beasts cover 13 1/2.
Florida at Auburn: This game is pick ‘em, I guess based on the theory that Auburn lost to Arkansas and therefore is a really good team that’s really angry. Only one problem with that theory: Really good teams don’t get stomped by Arkansas. Gators win.
Mississippi at Alabama: Winner advances to the 20th century. (I know: You think I’m better than that. But, really, I’m not.) Bammy wins, but take Old Ms. and 141/2.
Kentucky at LSU: Something is wrong when LSU (12) has more turnovers than Kentucky (7). OK, I’ll bite on the 26. Tigers win but don’t cover.
NFL Six-Pack
‘62 Packers: Off this week. Good thing. Dawgs would’ve destroyed them.
Panthers at Ravens: Carolina linebacker Dan Morgan is out for the year after his sixth concussion. If he wakes up next month and thinks he’s Steve Smith, the Panthers can’t lose. They’re 3-0 with Smith and 0-2 without him. This week, they’re with him. Who’s Dan Morgan? Take Carolina and the gift 2.
Chiefs at Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger has no touchdowns, seven interceptions and is 0-3 as a starter after going 27-4. So blow that out your AMA the next time some Harvard doc says the appendix has no function. Pitt wins but take K.C. and seven.
Texans at Cowboys: Terrell Owens has been screaming all week, “Why am I here?” As a Fantasy League owner, I’ve got a better question: Why did I draft him? More heart than head: Dallas covers 13.
Raiders at Broncos: I never give 15 points in an NFL game. Fortunately, the Raiders no longer qualify. Denver covers.
Dolphins at Jets: Daunte Culpepper was sacked 21 times in the first four games, then got angry about getting benched. Why? He should be buying Nick Saban a yacht. Jets cover 2 1/2.
Eagles at Saints: The Saints are 4-1, but five of their next six games are against the Eagles, Ravens, Steelers, Bengals and Falcons. Not the time to buy stock. Philly covers 3 1/2.
Almost Perfect
Last week: 8-1 straight up, 5-4 against the spread.
Profit margins: 38-14 straight up, 29-22-1 against the spread.
Elections: Perdue by 12 embellishments.
Permalink | Comments (91) | Post your comment | Categories: Jeff Schultz
Comments
By Jay
October 12, 2006 09:33 PM | Link to this
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE SO LAME????
By Jay
October 12, 2006 09:35 PM | Link to this
Schultz, You are NOT funny, give up.
By chuck
October 12, 2006 09:35 PM | Link to this
Though I may not agree with everything you have written, I commend you on a well-written and humorous article. Thank you for not being afraid to speak your mind.
By RTL
October 12, 2006 10:02 PM | Link to this
Yes, speak your mind. However, your mind seems to blend beautifully with the other liberal minds of the AJC. Why only one side. Maybe it’s your mind set to be leftist and that’s fine as long as we know going in. I was p** at the headline too, but I don’t pay for this bilge and support your salary. How sad we have a monopoly and no alternative voice in the metro area. You are ok at best, some free Internet carbs to digest. Competition would really, really be good for this so called news outlet.
RTL
By BirdMahn
October 12, 2006 10:19 PM | Link to this
Jeff, since you abhor all things Georgia here’s an idea. Get the hell out! We certainly won’t miss you. You’re becoming less relevant by the minute. Your futile attempts to be amusing are a sign of a broken down journalist. Maybe you could move to Charlotte and cover NASCAR, since you have such an affinity for left turns.
By jason
October 12, 2006 10:38 PM | Link to this
Thank goodness Lidle didn’t die in Atlanta or the headline probably would have said “Plane Puts Lidle in His Place”
By Mr C.
October 12, 2006 10:44 PM | Link to this
Can’t help laughing!!! Your hatred mail is going to triple. I thought u normally dish out ur rants equally to all sides. U might be going too far on this one. The governor was a moron to try and dictate the headline of the newspaper. I cringed when i saw the transcripts about turning the microphone off when he talked to the local radio statio.
However, i think u are going too far with ur shots. I think it’s time to let it go. He’s still the elected governor of the state the last time i checked. Funny article through.
By Stan
October 12, 2006 10:53 PM | Link to this
The duty of the press is to report. THEY GAVE UP 27 POINTS. Should the comment be, hot dog vendor serves perfect game. If you think you pay to get the feel good news. You are wrong. What should they report when a 15 mile commute takes a hour? Atlanta commutes allow you to appreciate the scenery. Or do you report we have an infrasturcture problem? Did any of you Dawg fans enjoy that 27 pt quarter, no. So no warm fuzzy headline. Get a helmet, life isn’t always warm and fuzzy.
By mountain_jim
October 12, 2006 10:54 PM | Link to this
Blah blah leftist blah blah liberal blah blah - RTL your (conservative? not!) side has had a monopoly in Washington for 6 years and we see how well that has gone.
Georgia sure is full of wingnuts so I guess Perdue wins again, maybe even without a last minute secret patch of the voting machines by a Diebold exec this time…..
Go Falcons.
Georgia fans keep blaming the AJC for your team’s failures - kinda like the Repugs blame a prez out of office for 6 years for all of theirs.
By Chris
October 12, 2006 10:57 PM | Link to this
VERY FUNNY as always Jeff…loved it!
By Rip
October 12, 2006 10:57 PM | Link to this
Jeff, you and Moore are the bobblehead. What a joke .
By Hawkamania
October 12, 2006 11:12 PM | Link to this
Wow….whats with all these hate comments? Y’all are taking this article way too seriously. I didnt know it meant so much to you that you had to bash the author. I guess thats what you do when you can be anonymous
-Hawkamania
By mark
October 12, 2006 11:23 PM | Link to this
I find most of your columns sophomoric. This piece is no exception. Have you ever tried to write something a little more thoughtful?
By BirdDawg
October 12, 2006 11:56 PM | Link to this
Hey Jeff, you do realize that your man, Mark Taylor is pulling a Rhett Bomar right now, right?
Getting $100,000 for working for his daddy about 2 hours a month, right?
See, unlike you Jeff, I’m not a retard ideologue.
All politicians are slime, and you’re just a retarded lemming for not liking one slime, but having no problem with the other kind of slime.
I think that’s called hypocrisy, Jeff.
Hypocritical Retarded Lemming.
Yep, that’s Jeff Schultz.
How about we keep your personal political ideology out of the sports page, unless you want to become the next Terrence The Racist Moore.
By Buzz
October 13, 2006 12:30 AM | Link to this
Schultz … Admit it, you are gay “left winger” in love with that “sleeze ball” Mark Taylor. Your article is so bad and predictable it is pathetic. You lost your credibility years ago and only a sorry paper like the AJC will employ you.
By Lev Bronstein
October 13, 2006 12:35 AM | Link to this
Schultz is a leftist? If you notice that Georgia has a bad pass defense, you’re a liberal? You might want to let the 50,000 Georgia fans who bloggged on this week demanding a new defensive coordinator know that they are that they are now card-carrying commies, ‘cause most of them were a lot blunter than Schultz.
Some people read Schultz to laugh at him. Others - bless their hearts - apparently read him so they can get all warm and indignant. But we all have something in common - we’re members of the Brotherhood of Jeff Schultz Readers?
Idn’t that nice?
By mt
October 13, 2006 01:26 AM | Link to this
jeff great article, i just gained a lot of respect for u for speaking your mind. maybe because i agree with everything u stated above.
i can’t beleive sonny sleazebag perdue is going to win the election again by all the support he’s getting on this blog. i may not agree with everything mark taylor stands for but he or anybody is better than sonny(didn’t)do.
By Buck Cochran in the NW
October 13, 2006 02:22 AM | Link to this
Jeff, the column was funny!! A long time ago I was a member of the media, TV. and radio and had the full creds just like you do today. I fully understood, reading between the line, what you’re doing. The scariest thing a reporter can do. “it’s you and me Sonny. I got you Babe”. How right you are! Sonny should have known that to complain out loud to the media and IN THE MEDIA would be a war he couldn’t win and in fact get his butt kicked! I say between the lines, but that one little phrase said it all if anyone catches the true meaning. You got’m Jeff. Now the question is, how many times are you going to use your “Bully Pulpit” to get’m again? HuH? BTW, I could care less who is elected Gov. of Ga. Don’t live in the state.
By Buck Cochran in the NW
October 13, 2006 02:27 AM | Link to this
BTW Jeff, I use my name on these blogs, call it background or whatever, but like you, I don’t need to hide. No, like when I was in the media, I said what I wanted to in front of the camera or behind the mic. Don’t have your or any writer’s email at the ajc. Don’t want or need them, I’ll just say what I want to in public. Do wish I had your writing skills. I ad-libbed all the time.
By jarrodmon
October 13, 2006 03:29 AM | Link to this
Great article? Congrats on speaking your mind? A member of the media criticizes a Republican and it’s suddenly courage?
How about applauding your faucet everytime you turn the knob and water comes out? Both are equally as rare.
How do you liberals look yourselves in the mirror for congratulatory back slapping and high fiving each others hypocracy? Sheesh.
And by the by, No one has scored 30 against Vandy this year, so a 13 line is a bit much. I’d say Dawgs 17-7.
By CoastDog
October 13, 2006 05:35 AM | Link to this
Consider the source: a hockey fan from Californicator.
By Big Steve
October 13, 2006 06:19 AM | Link to this
Absolutely the best article Jeff. I just wish Sonny would gain and few more pounds and the Dawgs could use him for pass blocking or, better yet, a tackling dummy!!I guess after the Jackets stomp his beloved Bulldogs, Sonny will spend $6 on a new Georgia Flying Bug Eradication Program.
By Michael Cox
October 13, 2006 07:38 AM | Link to this
Passive agressive eh…? Boy that Sonny letter has really got you in a tail spin! I don’t usually comment much, but you really are angry over it. The Sonny jokes should be over and done, but you just won’t let it go. Look Jeff,….I knew Lewis Grizzard….and you….your no Lewis so give it up!
By John Wells
October 13, 2006 07:43 AM | Link to this
You know, the saddest part of your pathetic efforts is that you really think you’re funny. You’re one of the many reasons I don’t purchase the AJC.
By UTKGRAD 93&97
October 13, 2006 08:16 AM | Link to this
Hey Sonny:
Maybe Georgia needed “The Big Guy” last Saturday night!
By bill
October 13, 2006 08:19 AM | Link to this
I think it’s a funny article, but not as funny as the uga tradition of athletic corruption (butts/bryant, harrick, etc.) and scandals,,,is that where Sonny boy learned his techniques. And now Adams admits waiving admission standards to compete, but can’t. When are the good people of GA going to wake up and stop accepting corruption and mediocrity? There are too many great things in GA.
By GSmth
October 13, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this
Jeff You have to keep Cynthia and Bookman out of the sports room. It’s obvious that Terry Moore has done enough harm. Spend a little more time with Furman. Something might rub off. But I doubt it.
By F
October 13, 2006 08:27 AM | Link to this
Jeffy - your attempt at humor just made you look like a total dickhead…
By Jake
October 13, 2006 08:35 AM | Link to this
I have a feeling that I’m going to want back the two minutes of my life that I just spent reading this. More like Kornheiser every day….and NO, that’s NOT a compliment. It must be miserable being so miserable.
By MCDAVID
October 13, 2006 09:07 AM | Link to this
DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. THE DAWGS HAVE BEEN AWFUL FOR 3 STRAIGHT GAMES AND FANS DON’T WANT TO ACCEPT IT. I BLEED RED AND BLACK, BUT I RECOGNIZE BAD FOOTBALL AND THAT’S WHAT WE’RE GETTING RIGHT NOW. GEORGIA HAS THE TALENT AND SHOULD BE VERY GOOD. IF WE WERE PLAYING TECH THIS WEEKEND I WOULD BE VERY CONCERNED HOPEFULLY BEFORE THAT GAME WE’LL GET IT TOGETHER. LOVE YOUR WRITING EVEN WHEN IT HURTS. A LOT OF THERE OTHER PEOPLE MUST TOO SINCE THEY READ AND SCREAM AT YOU AND CALL YOU NAMES, BUT STILL READ IT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
By Rob
October 13, 2006 09:15 AM | Link to this
Funny article. I usually like Sonny, but he is acting far too stupid about this for his own good.
By JPO
October 13, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
Bed-wetting time, Jeff?
By Me
October 13, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this
Sad thing is, the whole point of the article was to be obnoxiously positive towards UGA as a joke, but honestly I don’t see a big difference between what he wrote today and what he’s written every week for years.
By Kelley
October 13, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this
Imagine, a Republican pandering to the masses before election??? Surely not the morally upright, ethically pure party that they are!! (someone forgot to give Mark Foley the memo that they are so righteous).
You’re right on the money, the only reason Purdue defended the Dawgs was to get the fans’ support during election. I wonder how many of them will actually be naive enough to buy it and vote for him?
I’m sure plenty, seeing how we live in a country that elected someone as incompetent as W to two terms as our President.
By rbohler
October 13, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this
What fun! Perdue and Adams are blowhards, and the tragedy in NYC puts all the other stuff in perspective. Keep on slinging.
By mike
October 13, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this
Jeff, that was only about the 78th time in the last 5 years you’ve used the “winner advances to the 20th century” line. I think the first time you used it you had bangs.
By Luke
October 13, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this
We don’t need Sonny standing up for us. We can be 5-1 all by ourselves. We lost, there, I don’t think any Georgia fan/coach/player has not just said WE LOST. It’s not like we’ve given up 51 twice in the last three seasons though. I love though how a Tech supporter calls our 5-1 a failure and their 5-1 as a success. Remember Tech, you almost beat us the last five years. Thank god, VaTech and Miami are so crappy this year.
By Gene
October 13, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this
It would have been much better if everyone had just ignored Governor Sonny who looks and acts like Curley the Stooge.
By Chip
October 13, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this
Sonny’s right. If it hadn’t been for those 51 points, UGA would have blown Tenn out.
By HTD
October 13, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this
Hey Cher,
I’d like to introduce you to the 21st century. Why don’t your try something new in your blog, like humor.
By mountain_jim
October 13, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this
I see hating on Bookman here - he was one of the few columnists/patriots in the south who recognized us being lied into a mistaken war-of-choice with trumped up faulty intelligence beforehand, and the ongoing lies and incompetence there since. He also recognized the ongoing obliteration of our constitutional freedoms by the neocon-lead Repugnicans.
How could any party could ever be for the evisceration of the Constitution and Bill of Rights and still be called ‘conservatives’?
UGA clearly needs to upgrade its History of Government and critical thinking curriculi..
Perdue and his neocon-pandering party have lost their way and trashed our democracy..
But we still have football! Go Jeff, Falcons, and To Hell With Georgia!
By GREG
October 13, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this
DID ANYONE CATCH THE BIG ACC CLASH LAST NIGHT!!!!!LOL!!!!THAT VIRGINIA TACH TEAM IS A POWERHOUSE!!!!!TECH YOU’LL BE FINE THE REST OF THE WAY BECAUSE OF SENIOR LEADERSHP AND A 1ST ROUND PICK OF THE NFL THIS UPCOMING YEAR!UNTIL YOU GET TO GEORGIA!!!!THE ACC BESIDES CLEMSON IS THE WEAKEST I’VE EVER SEEN!!!GEORGIA WILL INTRODUCE YALL TO THE GAME OF FOOTBALL!!!!KNOCKING YOU ON YOUR A$$!!!!!
By marty
October 13, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this
Jeff, nice pic. My one year old makes the same face right before we have to change his diaper.
By wes
October 13, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
Jeff,
That…was…AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best thing you’ve written in years!
What happens if Georgia only wins by 3?
Here’s the headline:
“GEORGIA BEATS team from TENNESSEE!”
By Tech Fan
October 13, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this
The Bright side: 1) At least uga ain’t located in Atlanta, 2) Thank Allah Sonny ain’t a grad of Ga Tech or Emory (there national standing would suffer terribly), 3) The profession of engineering is thankful uga has no engineering school, lest the professional standards of all engineers would be damaged 4) Did I mention that at least uga ain’t located in Atlanta?
By Tech Fan
October 13, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this
If uga beats vandy, Sonny’s headline would read “UGA Beats Tennessee ——————————————————————————————————- team!”
By honest_abe
October 13, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this
funny article… great job jeff.. you’re my hero..lol
By NEWS FLASH FOR GREG
October 13, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this
This just in!!!!
Tennessee has scored AGAIN!
I’m pretty sure you are a trailer-park fan still trying to come to grips with the sucky dawgs this season.
THE DAWGS MUST HAVE A SORE BUTTHOLE LIKE YOU GET AFTER YOUR UNCLE RAPES YOU.
I love it when UGA fans get their pink panties all in a wad about something. GO GETTUM GREG!!!LOL!!!KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING!!!LOL!!!!IT MAKES IT SO MUCH FUN TO LAUGH AT YOU!!!LOL
By mo
October 13, 2006 11:56 AM | Link to this
Sports AND Politics…
It is definitely entertaining!
By Eric C.
October 13, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this
Jeff, Ok…Perdue went a little overboard. Get over it! I’ve always enjoyed your humor, but you sound like an idiot bashing Perdue in the past couple of columns.
By coastal jim
October 13, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this
Don’t ever stop, Jeff. SONNY IS A MORON!!
By Snowden
October 13, 2006 12:26 PM | Link to this
Jeff, you’ve used the 20th century line on the Bama/Ole Miss game at least twice before. They play every year, so you’ve got 52 weeks to come up with some new matieral.
I will give you credit for the YahooOnWestPaces joke earlier in the week. That was a good one.
By GeorgiaHokie
October 13, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this
To GREG (THE POSTER WHO HAS TO USE ALL CAPS TO OVERCOME INSECURITY)
As a VT fan and GRAD, I have to admit that we don’t have our best team this year, but when ESPN gave their take on the 2 most overrated teams at least we were #2 and not #1.
The #1 most overrated team was UGA.
VT would crush UGA as would about half the teams from the ACC….Florida State, VT, GT, Miami, Clemson, Boston College, Wake Forest…. yea Wake Forest the team with the same record as your beloved “dawgs” who, even with out their top 2 key players rolled all over an Ole Miss team (at ole miss) that UGA barely escaped with a win off a late turnover.
The GATORS are the only decent team in the SEC.
We at the ACC would welcome a top to bottom matchup of all teams in the ACC vs. the SEC.
How many bowl teams did the SEC have last year?
How many bowl teams did the ACC have last year?
The answer to the 2nd is much more than the 1st.
Greg was probably one of the ones who thought UGA would ROLL over the mountaineers of WV (Non-SEC school) - Ignorance is bliss, right GREGGY?
By Lee
October 13, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this
Great column. Too bad there are so many thin skins around here (and a lot of folks reading a newspaper they allegedly hate). I love the dawgs, but truth is we got spanked last weekend. Don’t know why our Gov and other fans can’t take an honest assessment of what happened. Acutually, we’re lucky the paper didn’t print the real acurate headline: Tenn Kicks UGA’s A*. I’m sure coach will get things fixed and that we’re headed in the right direction, so got to take the bad with the good. On the political side, glad to see that Sonny has nothing better to do than right inane letters to the editor.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this
YOUR BEST TEAM LAS YEAR MIAMI!!!!!40-3 LOSS TO LSU IN THE PEACH BOWL!!!!!LOL!!!!!BRING IT ON ACC!!!!!!!SEC PLAYS THERE BIG GAMES ON SATURDAYS IN FRONT OF 90K+ SEAT STADIUMS NOT 50K SEAT STADIUMS IN THE ACC ON A THURSDAY NIGHT!!!!LOL!!!!LOOK AT THE RANKINGS !!!!!
By GREG'S GAY FRIEND
October 13, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this
HEY MY FRIEND GREG! DON’T MAKE FUN OF VT. BC IS VERY GOOD! DON’T YOU REMEBER THAT BOWL GAME A FEW YEARS AGO WHERE WE (UGAy) GOT OUR BUTTS POUNDED BY BC (LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY, TEE HEE!). AT LEAST WE HAVE GOOD MEMORIES FROM OUR SLEEP OVER AT THE REST STOP…
By fred
October 13, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this
My, my, my! Are we feeling just a tad defensive today?
I continue to make this point in Mr. Schultz’s defense: He is trying to be funny. If he actually was funny, then people would understand his intent and maybe give him a break. But, as he never is funny, it makes him seem just hostile and pathetic.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 02:28 PM | Link to this
LOL!!!!!!DIG A LITTLE DEEPER!!!!WE GOT SHAFTED THAT YEAR!!!!DIDN’T WANT TO BE IN THAT BOWL!!!!!GO ACC AND THERE BEST TEAM BOSTON COLLEGE!!!!!LOL!!!!WHO ELSE CAN YALL BRING IN TO MAKE IT BETTER!!!!RUTGERS!!!!LOL!!!!!TECH IS 3-12 AGIANST UGA THE LAST 15!!!!!GO JACKETS AND ALL THE TINY ACC STADIUMS!!!!
By potvox
October 13, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this
Great article Jeff! Keep it up!
By Tech Kid
October 13, 2006 02:49 PM | Link to this
Greg- I’m going to say this slowly, and I’m going to use small, one-syllable words, so that you can understand me. Ok? Here goes- UGAy is awful. They have no quarterback, an offensive line with more holes in it that your grandmother’s crusty drawers, and they don’t haved a reciever who seems to want to catch the ball. You follow me so far? Good. I would also like to point out that while UGA has beaten Tech the last few times, those days are over, friend, and the only type of football that “them dawgs” will be introducing us to is the sloppy, turnover-ridden, no pass-blocking, throwing-45-times-a-game-with-noodle-armed-Joe-Teresh%*y kind of ball you’ve been playing down in Athens. Now, since we’ve established that, my pizza is late, so why don’t you get it over to my house before it’s free?
By Tech Fan
October 13, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this
UH OH, now we done gone and got the gov all mad. Sonny boy is puttin’ on his pretty pink panties, and says he’s gonna start at quarterback this weekend against vandy!!
By GREG'S GAY FRIEND
October 13, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
HEY TECH KID!!!! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T USE TWO SYLLABLE WORDS, YOU LIAR!!!!GREG, I LIKE YOUR TALK ABOUT SMALL STADIUMS!!! LOL!!!! REMEMBER HOW WE KEPT OURSELVES WARM AT VANDERBILT AND THEN OLE MISS AND THEN MISS ST ALL IN ONE WEEK IN THEIR SMALL STADIUMS?!?!?! TEE HEE! NO ONE NOTICED!!!!
By Pete
October 13, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this
I was wondering where (and if) you went to school. After reading your column, I know that you must have attended the only school named after it mascot —— UGA.
By gordon
October 13, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this
Hey Tech Kid- You are funny, you actually think that “those days are over”? Tech is better than the Dogs in about 1 in 10 years. Guess this is the year. “Those days” will never be over. Tech having a better football team than UGA is the exception, not the rule and all Tech fans know it. It does happen, but not often.
By GREG'S OTHER GAY FRIEND
October 13, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this
GREG,
HOW DARE YOU!!!!…. TELLING ME I WAS THE ONLY ONE. I THOUGHT THE MOMENT’S WE SHARED IN YOUR UNCLE’s BARN WERE SPECIAL. NOW I FIND OUT YOU ARE PLAYING NOOKIE WITH SOMEONE ELSE AT THE AWAY UGAY GAMES. YOU ONLY TOLD ME ABOUT THE PIG, WHY DID YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THERE BEING ANOTHER GUY IN YOUR LIFE. I THOUGHT WHAT YOU TOLD ME THAT NIGHT IN THE MUD BETWEEN THE HEDGES WAS AS SOLID AS OUR CHANCES FOR WINNING A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, BUT I GUESS I AM TO BE DOUBLY DISSAPOINTED THIS YEAR.
By davethejacket
October 13, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this
Greg, are the big letters and talk of big stadiums simply compensation for something in your life that’s not that big? Keep on woofing but please stop writing. You seemingly need to repeat 8th grade English (giving you the benefit of doubt that you have finished 8th grade at least once).
By Win
October 13, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this
I am officially dumber for reading that lame article. Please retire!
By GREG
October 13, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this
GO JACKETS!!!!!TAKE LAST WEEK FOR EXAMPLE!!!!!HUGE ACC MATCHUP,WAKE FOREST AND CLEMSON…..GRASS HILLS BEHIND THE GOALPOSTS!!!!LOL!!!!!CHECK THE RANKINGS…HOW MANY ACC TEAMS ARE RANKED IN THE TOP 25???????
By KY Yellow Jacket
October 13, 2006 03:54 PM | Link to this
Hey Tech Fans,
Take it easy on Greg and don’t bash Gordon. They are right, UGA has been better than us the last few years (although Reggie Ball has really cemented them a W the past couple of years).
Tech is lucky to compete with the Dawgs…
It is hard for Tech to get the same football talent that UGA does. Heck, Tech has been in the bottom 3 of the ACC in recruiting the last several years, yet UGA has been in the top 5 of the nation.
When one of your recruiting mantras is … “Come to UGA, we don’t really push you to have to graduate…. it’s all about football.” That is quite tempting to many to jump from thug nation to bulldawg nation.
I mean UGA being LAST in the SEC in grad rates for Basketball and LAST in the SEC in grad rates for Football is a HUGE recruiting tool!!! At least UGA is not last in the top 25 (only 2nd to last in Grad Rates). Come on dawgs, you can be number one soon if you recruit hard enough.
The bottom line is that UGA life is football (Is UGA really a school? - do they care?) This, coupled with the recruiting facts puts the “DAWGS” as a bunch of disappointing underachievers (in football and in the reality of the UGA “student” athlete’s life), while TECH is a bunch of overachievers to bring the success of thier program up to a level way beyond their recruiting class.
The good news is that the national exposure by playing nationally highlighted conference games is helping Tech’s recruiting of STUDENT athletes.
I find Greg’s comment interestig about Miami and LSU while he seems to forget that LOWLY GATECH has handed the Best team in their conference … AUBURN (In Reg Season Wins and Losses over the last 3 years) 2 smackdown’s over that period… They were 28-5 agains THE SEC and #1 USC, but were 0-2 versus the Jackets.
I’m not a UK fan, but I know they are licking they chops to play UGA this year… Heck even UK smoked Ole Miss :)
By Frank
October 13, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this
Schultz, you are such a tool. Even when a situation presents itself, literally dripping with humor, you manage to some how blow it. “B.K. has plans to launch, “The Spicoli Burger,” then figures to start buying small countries.” Man, that is rich. Can’t wait for Cox to drop your p** ant little contract (which can’t be for much or they would have axed you already) so one can post “Schultz Put In His Place”. On second thought, that’s a little mean. After all, the Guv is right, it’s bad form to pick on amateurs.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 03:57 PM | Link to this
3-12 LAST 15!!!!!!!LOL!!!!
By Jeff_for_Governer
October 13, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this
Jeff,
I rolled on the floor laughing at your article. Keep up the good work. Don’t worry about the overly sensitive fans - it’s good for them to get a dose of reality. THE GATORS ARE WAITING FOR THE PUPPIES….
By GREG
October 13, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this
HEY KY JELLY!!!!!!IT SHOWS BUDDY!!!!3-12!!!!LOL!!!!
By Frank
October 13, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this
Schultz, you are such a tool. Even when a situation presents itself, literally dripping with humor, you manage to some how blow it. “B.K. has plans to launch, “The Spicoli Burger,” then figures to start buying small countries.” Man, that is rich. Can’t wait for Cox to drop your p** ant little contract (which can’t be for much or they would have axed you already) so one can post “Schultz Put In His Place”. On second thought, that’s a little mean. After all, the Guv is right, it’s bad form to pick on amateurs.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this
OH YEAH ON THE RECRUITING DEAL!!!!UGA HAS AVERAGED 7TH IN RECRUITING THE LAST 6 YEARS!!!UGA AVERAGES 5TH IN WINS THE SAME TIME SPAN!!!LOL!!!!!ANYTHING ELSE??????
By Tech Fan
October 13, 2006 04:30 PM | Link to this
UGA has averaged last in jock graduation the last five years!
By PrepCoach
October 13, 2006 04:32 PM | Link to this
Hey Greg,
I think you missed KY YellowJackets point (which is not surprising given your education level). Are you even a UGA grad? If not, that’s sad - If so, that’s sad. He was clearly saying that UGA had the better football team over the past several years - you can’t even realize there was a complement there. The main point was that UGA puts Football as the priority and academics are not important and that the SEC is not all it is cracked up to be - It is top heavy, but loaded with losers. Like someone else said earlier…. look at the number of bowl teams that the SEC had compared to other conferences last year (since your good math like the 3-12 stat.). Yea the SEC has some higher ranked teams now, but things settle out once everyone has a chance to play out their schedule. A cupcake laden schedule yielding a 5-0 record and a ranking of #9 is not impressive to anyone with a brain. Just wait and see the bowl situation (or please lookup history).
Hey here is a comparison…. Wake Forest is 5-1 and UGA is 5-1.
Wake Forest is unranked and has played a tougher schedule than UGA.
Boston College is 5-1 and has played a tougher schedule that UGA, yet they are unranked.
Hey I am undefeated in thumb wrestling - 32-0. I am ranked number 1!!!! just don’t tell anyone my competition has been St. Mary’s Blind Sisters of the poor!!!!
By Tech Fan
October 13, 2006 04:37 PM | Link to this
Yo, dinky-dick Greg of the ALL CAPS: One word, “viagra.” Ah guess your boyfriends all call u a “SCREAMER” but that is not a good thing on a blog.
By Tech Fan
October 13, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this
Gregie, a litty ky jelly makes the pigskin go down easier.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 04:42 PM | Link to this
LOL!!!!!!3-12
By GATORFAN
October 13, 2006 04:44 PM | Link to this
TechFan - laughed at your comment back to the UGAY FAN GREG - UGAY doesn’t care about education - they are just hoping to compete with us Gators!!!
Greg’s facts about W-L are wrong anyway - either he is an idiot or just likes making up stuff.
GAY GREG - WHO IS TOPS IN THE SEC IN FOOTBALL AND GRAD RATES ……….THE GATORS BABY!!!!
Please tells us UGAY’s stats against the GATORS during the last 15 years or so.
It’s nice they have WIFI at MCDonald’s now, but you need to shut up and get back to making burgers dude or your Mom is going to be ticked about you being unemployed again and sleeping on the couch all day.
Get a life GATOR BAIT.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 04:45 PM | Link to this
sorry!!!just having fun!!!good luck to the jackets and dawgs.it would be nice for the 2 teams to be ranked in the top 10 when they play.
By GREG
October 13, 2006 04:48 PM | Link to this
LOL!!!!!
By DawgByte
October 13, 2006 04:48 PM | Link to this
**All of this over a college football game? How pathetically sad.”
By GREG
October 13, 2006 04:49 PM | Link to this
3-12
By Jeff Schultz
October 13, 2006 04:52 PM | Link to this
Too many good blogs to respond to all here. But I commend those of you who realize Friday predictions is a satire column. … BirdDawg, others: What made you think I was a Mark Taylor fan? If Mark Taylor had said something stupid, trust me, I would’ve picked on him. …. Lev: Thanks for the clarity ….. Buck: Thanks, and I really don’t care who wins the election either. Maybe I’ll go Libertarian. Thoughts, anybody? …. G.Smith: I’ve been here 17 years and I’ve spent a lot more time with Furman Bisher than Cynthia Tucker or Jay Bookman, each of whom I’ve probably only spoken to once or twice. OK, that’s it for now. I’ll take cover while you resume the assault.
By Schultz for Gov'nah!
October 13, 2006 06:37 PM | Link to this
Hey BirdDawg:
Is Hypocritical Retarded Lemming related to Tom Lemming?
By Jason
October 13, 2006 09:11 PM | Link to this
Jeff,
You should no better than to state a fact to conservatives. Most of them still think Saddam attacked us on 911 and most of them could care less that Sonny signed himself a 100,000 tax break and bought land for 1/20th of it’s actual value from a political supporter whom he put on the Georgia Economic board. As far as your coverage of Georgia last Saturday What were you and the AJC sports staff supposed to print. Georgia choked on their dog biscuits and you called them on it. They were ranked in the Top 10 despite a last second win over now 0-6 Colorado and a slim victory over the mighty Ole Miss Rebels. Tennessee did put Georgia in their place. Unfortunately they are still 13th and 16th in the polls rather than where they actually belong. Sonny dismisses everything he disagrees with as rubbish. I think he proved how big of a joke he is when he tried to use a sports headline for political gain.
By Matt
October 13, 2006 09:39 PM | Link to this
I hate Georgia Tech.
I hate Democrats.
I hate Desperate Housewives.
And I hate this column.
By orangeman
October 13, 2006 09:59 PM | Link to this
Oh how the mighty (dreaming) have fallen. They should get well against the Comodes! Ans for some strange reason, I think they’ll beat the Gators. No I don’t have any weed for sale. Go Dogs!
By Rooster
October 13, 2006 11:09 PM | Link to this
Jeff Schultz is one of very few reasons to actually pick up the AJC on Friday, or any day aside from Sunday.
There isn’t a funnier sports column in this country. There are damn few writers who specialize in comedy that are this funny.
If you don’t get the humor, try reading the column out loud in a public place. When someone laughs out loud, buy them a drink and beg for an explanation.