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DEL.ICIO.USNFL injury report involves creative writing
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Twice a week, every NFL team is required to make public an amusing little item called “the injury report.”
It runs in the sports section — at least until I can start a movement to throw it into “Entertainment,” along with the comics, UFO sightings and presidential inauguration speeches.
This week, the Falcons list defensive end John Abraham as questionable with a groin strain. This will make three straight weeks Abraham’s groin is “questionable.” Maybe he should start wearing “Riddler” boxer shorts, with little question marks.
Abraham hasn’t touched his helmet since late in the Falcons’ season opener at Carolina, when he keeled over and dropped into the fetal position like a Thrashers goalie. There was nothing questionable about his status then.
Let’s apply a little logic here. If Abraham is really “50-50,” as is the definition of questionable, for game No. 4 this week against Arizona, it’s safe to assume that he was significantly worse than questionable for game No. 2 against Tampa Bay, particularly if he was moving like he’d just fallen off a moving train.
But such is life in the NFL injury report’s gray zone. It’s like trying to measure the horizon.
Why have an injury report at all?
“The problem is if you go the other way, you’ll get the out-and-out lying,” said Rich McKay, the Falcons’ president and general manager and a member of the league’s competition committee.
“If you decide you’re not going to have any report, then you’re not going to get any information. Then what you’re going to get is the next step, which will be no access to practice. You’ll promote the idea of: ‘I will get an advantage because nothing will get out.’ That’s what we don’t want.”
So instead, we get the Wednesday half-truths, followed by the Friday updated incomplete truths.
I’m not really sure what the point of the updates are. It’s like giving a clown shinier exploding shoes.
This isn’t to suggest the Falcons are wrong for resting Abraham — they’re not. It’s early in the season. Why push it?
But how many NFL games are decided an hour before kickoff — which essentially is when opponents see injured players in street clothes.
“I don’t think any of us on the team side view that it has any competitive impact,” McKay said.
Sure. Tell that to a coach. If you polled 32 NFL coaches about injury reports, every one would have them abolished. Also, practice fields would be no-fly zones.
Coaches are convinced listing a player as questionable instead of doubtful or probable might make the difference in a game. Never mind the dropped pass in the end zone.
“Everybody in the league tries to meet the minimum requirement,” defensive end Patrick Kerney said, smiling. Kerney wants to be a high school English teacher one day. He couldn’t have put more emphasis on the word minimum if he had used a megaphone.
The Falcons certainly aren’t alone in this endeavor. They’re not even the worst. The New England Patriots have elevated non-disclosure to an art form under Bill Belichick. They have gone through an entire game week without listing an injured player, only to suddenly have him show up on game day with, like, cracked ribs and a missing kidney. The Pats have won three Super Bowls. It follows that the franchise’s deception practices became the standard.
The injury report was created to dissuade gamblers from trying to unearth “inside information” and eliminate speculation. I can’t vouch for the former, but it certainly hasn’t prevented the latter. It’s six days of speculation followed by a game-day inactive list.
McKay insists things have improved. Two years ago, the NFL mandated that teams disclose whether or not a player practiced. But he acknowledged that there is only so much the NFL can mandate.
“We can only give it so many teeth,” McKay said. “Every doctor’s opinion and coach’s opinion of whether a guy is doubtful, questionable or probable is different, so it’s hard to regulate.”
A hockey player once asked me not to write that he had a concussion. I told him that since everybody saw him get hit in the head and get helped off the ice, that would be impossible. Of course, the coach said he might play the next game. He didn’t.
Permalink | Comments (4) | Post your comment | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz
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By Larry
September 29, 2006 11:22 PM | Link to this
Pretty funny. Good article.
By Kudzu
September 30, 2006 06:34 AM | Link to this
What’s your point?
By formerbeliever
September 30, 2006 06:54 AM | Link to this
This article is what we call “fillers” in the newspaper industry … something to fill space when there’s not enough good news to fill up a column.
By FalconW810
September 30, 2006 08:16 AM | Link to this
I think Peerless Price has come back to haunt this team on the defensive side this time, in the body of Ed Hartwell, contract and all.