AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > September > 21
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Al-Jazeera covers game, Falcons cover spread
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
It has been a big week outside the NFL, which is never good news because the NFL doesn’t like to be upstaged and therefore may buy the planet one day and put an end to this.
First, Reggie Bush vehemently denied a report that he, his family and his Labrador’s three servants received over $100,000 in cash and benefits from agents, commenting: “I did not inhale. Wait, wrong statement.”
Then Tiger Woods vehemently denied a report that his wife, Elin, had ever posed nude, and I’ve got to back him up on this because, I mean, my neighbor knows a guy who has been Googling for months. (What are you looking at?)
Then came Wednesday, when Venezuela President Hugo Chavez called former Texas Rangers owner George Bush “the devil,” perhaps not realizing Bush was gone before the Rangers gave Alex Rodriguez a $252-million contract, which of course led to the downfall of both the Rangers and this country.
Which leads me to the Falcons-Saints game. (Attention, aspiring journalists: Transitions are for wimps.) The teams meet Monday night in the first game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina.
Over 1,000 media credentials have been issued, including, and I’m not making this up, one to Al-Jazeera’s Washington bureau. Can’t wait to read his lead. “Michael Vick and his band of Falcon infidels destroyed other cowards named Saints. But we still don’t like Greg Knapp.”
The Saints are 2-0. That’s nice. But they’ve beaten the Browns and Packers, the Rice and Temple of the NFL. Falcons-Saints games tend to be close. But three points? Please. Go ahead and inhale. Falcons cover easily.
Thank you sir, may I have another?
(What is this? Punch a clown week?)
• Buffs and Bowsers: Colorado used to be really good. It was right about the time Bill McCartney was preaching morality while his players were having keg parties with his daughter and playing pingpong in Hades. Now, the team is 0-3 and boring. Might as well be Mississippi State. Georgia wins. But forget covering 27.
• Buffalo (the city) at Auburn: I have a preseason annual that ranked Buffalo 119th in the nation. I’m assuming that 9-3 opener over Temple doesn’t change much, but I’m a sucker for a double whopper spread: 42! No cover for Auburn, either.
• Kentucky at Florida: The Gators will be without defensive tackle Marcus Thomas, who tested positive for marijuana. On a related note, Florida plans to locate the 12 students who aren’t getting high. Gators cover 23 1/2.
• Florida Atlantic at South Carolina: FAU has been outscored 147-14 in three games. This is like an HGH smoothie for Steve Spurrier’s ego. The 29 is covered.
• Tobacco Road Kill: Do N.C. State, UNC(le) and Duke still play football? Or are Chuck Amato, John Bunting and Ted Roof just warming the crowd for the dancing elephants? Duke is off this week, but here’s a Daily Double: Clemson (16 1/2 over Heels) and Boston College (7 over Wolfies) both cover.
NFL five pack
• Panthers at Bucs: One team is going to be 0-3, assuming they don’t collide during the opening kickoff and lapse into simultaneous unconsciousness, the odds of which have dropped to 5-2. Carolina covers 3.
• Titans at Dolphins: Kerry Collins had a 1.3 rating in last week’s 40-7 loss to San Diego. That’s nothing. He blew a 1.4 during a traffic stop once. Miami covers 11.
• Packers at Lions: Is it just me or was Brett Favre better when he was addicted to Vicodin? (Sorry. Old line. New fall schedule starts next week.) Detroit covers 6.
• Bengals at Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger didn’t look ready to play Monday night. The rolling IV cart was a dead giveaway. Take Cincinnati and 2 — and in a straight upset.
• Giants at Seahawks: Deion Branch makes his debut in a Seattle uniform, which is really key because, like, he’s on my Fantasy League team. Seattle by 79.
Financial report • Last week: 8-4 straight up, 6-6 against the line.
• Gross: 23-7 straight up, 19-11 against the line.
• Weekend Predictions Book Club: Buy three selections and win either a unicorn or a copy of, “Tiger Woods’ Great Locker Room Pep Talks At The Ryder Cup.”
Permalink | Comments (27) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz, UGA / SEC
Chipper’s rapid decline, Falcons’ ascent
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mark Bradley
By not-so-popular demand, here’s another in the continuing “I think” series. I think some of you will like this one. I think others won’t.
I think the Falcons will be playing a playoff game at home come January.
I think, given the weather they faced in Chicago last season, the Falcons had better hope the Bears don’t get the NFC’s No. 1 seed.
I think signing Bob Wickman is a good start to a pivotal offseason for the Braves.
I think baseball is the strangest of all games, and here’s why: On Monday the Dodgers hit four consecutive home runs to send a game to extra innings and won in the 10th on a walk-off homer. Momentum, right? Uh, no. The Dodgers have since lost two in a row to the woeful Pirates.
I think the Twins would have won the World Series had Francisco Liriano not gotten hurt. I think the Yankees will now.
I think the Phillies will reach the World Series if they qualify for postseason.
I think that, with almost every call being reviewed anymore, there’s no need for on-field officials.
I think the Falcons are finally — finally! — figuring out how to use Michael Vick. What’s the use of having the fastest man in the NFL if all you’re doing is letting him throw 7-yard passes?
I think the Ryder Cup is the most intriguing golf event because it involves golfers playing for something other than money and self.
I think Chipper Jones is really unlucky. I also think he’s aging at the most alarming rate of any great athlete I’ve ever seen, and that includes NFL running backs.
I think — actually, I know — I was wrong about Georgia Tech beating Notre Dame. But I think I deserve partial credit for calling the Irish overrated. They were. They still are.
I think Louisville is not overrated. Loses its two best players and still runs the best offense in college football.
I think somebody ought to try to hire Bobby Petrino away from Louisville. (Oh, wait. Everybody already has.)
Permalink | Comments (67) | Categories: Mark Bradley, Quick Hit
