AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > September > 01
Friday, September 1, 2006
Tech in an upset? Don’t be foolish
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
(The following is not affiliated with Bill Campbell, who is in jail; Linda Schrenko, who’s on her way there; the Atlanta Spirit, which remains at-large; Mel Gibson, who is free, but, I mean, who among us hasn’t had one or two beers and suddenly broke into a goose-step; Pluto, which has been dropped into the NAIA and home of wayward SEC nonconference opponents; or the NCAA, which continues to astound and amaze, most recently claiming that donations to a Clemson player, who is caring for his 11-year-old brother, constitute an illegal benefit, even though their mother is a drug addict. OK. Who’s been sipping from Mel’s beer?”)
Hello. I am back. The AJC considered replacing these weekly financial tips with “MarketWatch,” but then read excerpts of this week’s column. Quoting, ahem: “… The Russell 2000 is a small-cap index, and small-company stocks historically have delivered returns superior to their much larger brethren. Gold can be a world-beater in the short run but often tends to lags stocks and bonds. Small-cap stocks tend to perform at the top of the security pool …”
AAAAAAGH!
Team A covers vs. Team B.
Isn’t that a lot easier to digest?
As always, here’s how it works: Every week, I give you the winners. It’s your job to find them. “Losing” selections (wink, wink) are merely plants to throw off competing investment firms that always seek to steal our winning formula. Those of you who require the updated key code to decipher the winning games from the “losing” ones, please send a self-addressed envelope and a $250 check made out to: “Weekend Predictions Non-Profit Tax-Deductable Fund For My New Car.”
We start with this week’s big game between Georgia Tech and Pope Weis. After finishing 9-3, Charlie Weis got a book deal, a lifetime of riches and deity status. After all, he won two more games than Chan Gailey.
Funny. Ty Willingham went 10-3 his first year at Notre Dame, but I don’t remember fans handing over the keys to their daughters and beach houses.
That said: Notre Dame’s not bad. I know: Danger game. Tech wins games it shouldn’t. Tech has a great defensive coordinator (Jon Tenuta) and a new guy calling plays (Patrick Nix). Tech has Calvin Johnson.
What’s Latin for blahblahblah?
This could be one-sided. It could be close. But if it’s one sided, Notre Dame’s winning. If it’s close, it’ll come down to a play by the quarterback. So who do you want? Brady Quinn (32 touchdowns and seven interceptions last season) or Reggie Ball (11 and 12, respectively).
This has become too many people’s upset special. The line is down to seven.
I’m going the other way. See ya. Irish cover.
Side orders
(Do these picks make my butt look big?)
• Meat at Georgia: Mark Richt said he’s more fearful of playing a winning Division I-AA opponent than a losing Division I-A school. It’s a nice sound bite. Just don’t try to sell it to the booster who’s carpeting your program. Lose to Western Kentucky and you’ll wish you had the excuse of losing to Temple. Not that it’ll happen. No official line, so let’s just say Doggies by 97.
• FSU at Miami: The Canes will be short four convicts, including receiver Ryan Moore, who kicked a woman’s car door, grabbed her by the throat and threw her to the ground, according to a police report. Coach Larry Coker said Moore’s actions violated team policy. Wait. Since when can’t Miami players kick car doors? Windbags cover 3.
• Washington State at Auburn: The Tigers’ athletic department has been cleared of any wrongdoing in the scandal that found football players being given A’s in sociology for showing a pulse. On a related note, Jim Harrick Jr. has been named compliance director. Auburn covers 14-1/2.
• UAB at Oklahoma: The first 50 fans get a free Chevy. No, wait. That’s the team meetings. Never mind. But Sooners could beat UAB with half the roster tied behind their backs. The 21-1/2 is covered.
• Southern Cal at Arkansas: I realize being the USC quarterback now gets you on the pass list at Hef’s hot tub. But would you really want to be John David Booty about now and have to follow Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart? They leave behind titles, Heismans and a pregnant basketball player. Punt the eight, take Troy.
• Cal at Tennessee: Word is Phil Fulmer became so upset about those bothersome player arrests in the spring that he started throwing water bottles during a team meeting. It’s nice that Pumpkin Boy has actually started spraying weed killer on his troubled program. But when you’ve played doormat to Vanderbilt on the way to going 5-6, are the problems limited to two or three dolts? Vowels buy an L. Take Cal and the gift 1-1/2.
Scorecard
• Last season: 71-19 straight up, 53-35-2 against the line. Late Summer Blowout! Buy any three selections and win a copy of “CBS Evening News For Dummies.” Chapter 1: “After getting caught air-brushing Katie Couric’s hips and caboose to make her look 20 pounds lighter to boost ratings, network executives desperately tried to turn her into a serious journalist. Unfortunately, attempts to air-brush Eric Sevareid’s head onto Couric’s body did not take.”
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