AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2006 > April > 04 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USThe Tuesday Countdown
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
10: Sixteen years after getting to Atlanta, I have just arrived in Augusta for my first Masters. It’s a golf course. What’s the big deal?
9: Oh, calm down. I know Augusta National has, like, history and stuff. But it’s early, it’s Tuesday, I’m in a house with five other AJC staff members and there’s a needlepoint of a horse above my bed. The good news is that I’m not going to get all sappy about the place and get stupid in the pro shop. (Early week AJC record: my editor dude, Chris Vivlamore, $245.)
8: Attention AJC accounting department: Chris Vivlamore told me to tell you he had a $245 lunch Tuesday.
7: I am not making this up. A press release in the Augusta National media room marked “NEWS BULLETIN NO. 1” reads as follows: “Our fairways are now being mowed at 3/8 inch, the second cut at 1 3/8 inch, the tees at 5/16 inch, the collars at 1/4 inch and the greens at 1/8 inch. All mowings are subject to weather conditions and growth.” Did I happen to mention it’s just a golf course?
6: One game, one syringe. So nice to see that baseball fans are warming to Barry Bonds’ home run chase.
5: One thing I don’t get about the Bonds’ fans who believe racism is at the root of the criticism: Isn’t the guy who holds the home run record, Henry Aaron, also African American? So why would racists attack Bonds to protect Aaron?
4: Babe Ruth is white. Aaron went through hell when he passed Ruth. Is it the contention of Bonds’ defenders that this is about passing Ruth and not approaching Aaron?
3: The Tuesday Countdown’s over-under on Bonds’ home run total this season: 10.
2: Maybe the owners of the Atlanta Spirit should start booking weddings and Bar Mitzvahs in Philips Arena in April, May and June. Playoff conflicts clearly aren’t an issue.
1: Is this when somebody guarantees the Thrashers don’t make the playoffs?
Permalink | Comments (22) | Categories: Jeff Schultz, Quick Hit
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Not-A-Blogger
April 4, 2006 12:17 PM | Link to this
Literally millions of people all over the world would be thrilled just to lay eyes on this golf course in person. The AJC definitely sent the wrong person down here………
By bushwacker
April 4, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this
I was beginning to think I was the only person that knows Hank Aaron is black. For the people out there who are screaming racism, I assure you if Mark McGwire had gotten close to Hank Aaron’s record 755, he would be under the same scrutiny as Baroid! Nobody cares about breaking 61,but the greatest record in all of sports,755 is too sacred to have it broken by cheaters!.. If he is allowed to saty around long enough to get close,I hope the pitchers stop pitching to him so he cannot break the record.
By Cynthia Mckinney
April 4, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this
Of course its racism you bigots. It’s whitey trying to keep a brother down. Go ask OJ!
By speedr
April 4, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this
Hey Cynthia! What don’t you give up the paranoid excuses you use for EVERYTHING - not everything has to do with race, OK? Why not use your lunch hour to go and assault another white cop trying to do his job so you can get some more press…
By russ
April 4, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this
speedr,
Joke dude. I will be attending my first competitive round at the Masters on Friday. Can’t wait!
By The Juice is Loose
April 4, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this
Cynthia give me a call I think I know where whitie lives. You want to throw the first puch. OJ
By waggle
April 4, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this
I think you’re staying in my sister’s room…
By Cynthia Mckinney
April 4, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this
Easy there speedr, it’s call sarcasm. I’m on your team. While we’re at it though, I thought the syringe was genius!
By Bradley G
April 4, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this
I heard Bonds was more upset with the fact that the syringe wasn’t loaded…
By Cynthia Mckinney
April 4, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this
I love to see a sea of syringes fall from the stands everytime he comes to bat. Next time he’s in Atlanta, I’m cleaning out the drug stores.
By Ben
April 4, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this
Jeff Schultz is an idiot and most of the readers of AJC already know that. His column is the one that never gets read. The Masters is not just another golf tournament. Hey Jeff, ask the players if Augusta is just another tournament… idiot!
By Doug
April 4, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this
Interesting how third-grade schoolyard name-caller Ben calls Jeff’s column “the one that never gets read” when, clearly, he just read it. That is way more ironic than rain on your wedding day, or a free ride when you’re already late.
Benny boy, if you get this worked up over someone doing nothing more than poking fun at the Masters, you need more to do. Time for a cup of hot Ovaltine and a nap.
By BirdDawg
April 4, 2006 04:35 PM | Link to this
Jeff,
Why? Why make such an utterly inane statement about The National? I know you like to be irreverant and flip. I know you like to appear aloof at times, but come on man! That statement sounds like something that Moore would write (and he would mean it). But come on man, you know what it is. The single greatest tournament on the planet. The only one which has a fixed home, and a more beautiful home you couldn’t find anywhere else. The greatest golf course on the planet. Born from a legend’s brain (Bobby Jones), conquered by the greatest golfers ever (Sarazen, Sneed, Nelson, Hogan, Palmer, Nicklaus, Watson, Player, Crenshaw, Faldo, Woods, and of course, Mickelson), and desperately pursued by those who have come oh so close. Ask Greg Norman if The National is just another tournament!
Show some respect, Jeff. We all know how your love for Martha and hatred of Hootie and your personal politics are coloring your opinion of The National, here. Just because you don’t agree with how Hootie does his business (not saying I do, but I do recognize their Constitutional right to have a private club of their own, for men only, even if you don’t want to) doesn’t mean we all want to read your snide remarks about the greatest week in golf.
Please, let Mr. Bisher handle this week, Jeff. His prose is best suited to color this week. I think you and us (your loyal readers who usually like your work) would be better off for it.
By Gaytor Matt
April 4, 2006 05:47 PM | Link to this
What about the NCAA tournament? You honestly think some golf match is greater?
GO GAYTORS!!!!!
By p
April 5, 2006 07:19 AM | Link to this
it’s just a game of golf. true, the course is magnificent. spectacularly maintained, but when all is said and done, it is just a game of golf.
By bibbs
April 5, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this
I would have to consider Cy Young’s 500+ wins a greater record than 755 home runs. Both impressive, but which one is more unattainable?
By braves fan
April 5, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this
That’s like saying Fenway Park is just another baseball field or that Daytona is just a race track. It’s where the greatest players have played. Not just the current guys, but the legends like Bobby Jones. I don’t think Bobby Jones ever played at Sugarloaf. So saying Augusta is just a golf course is like saying it is no different than Sugarloaf. Dork.
As for Bonds, I would love it if the Braves scheduled a Hank Aaron Appreciation Night for August 29th. Why August 29th? That’s the first game of a three game series with the Giants at Turner Field. They should honor Hank on the field in front of Mr. Roids, and show highlights of his steroid free career in between EVERY inning. I also would like to put a bug in everyone’s ear to bring a posterboard with a giant asterisk to hold up when he bats as a protest.
By Larry
April 5, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this
Augusta has a golf course?
By Gaytor Matt
April 5, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this
I will admit that at least baseball is a SPORT and racing is exciting. Golf is a GAME and BORING.
How about them Gaytors!!!!!!!!!!
Matt.
By Rod
April 5, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
Jeff, you don’t like golf and can’t even come up with a list of 10 golf related items (after the first 4, everything else listed was another topic). Why don’t you save the paper money and GO HOME! The AJC could get somebody else who cares - and can write - to go report it to those of us who care.
By Braves Fan #2
April 5, 2006 02:22 PM | Link to this
I agree with braves fan…on both accounts! Tho i have never been to national, i would love to see that amazing course any day. And that would be so great if we actually honored henry aaron during that weekend series in august!! id love to see bond’s reaction to that one! I hope he doesnt even last this season before he realizes he needs to hang it up with whatever dignity he may have left.
By Braves Fan #2
April 5, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this
I agree with braves fan…on both accounts! Tho i have never been to national, i would love to see that amazing course any day. And that would be so great if we actually honored henry aaron during that weekend series in august!! id love to see bond’s reaction to that one! I hope he doesnt even last this season before he realizes he needs to hang it up with whatever dignity he may have left.