AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2005 > November > 29 > Entry

Tuesday Countdown: Stick this in your pipe


Jeff Schultz

10: Has anybody seen my pipe?

9: Look, I’m not condoning drug use or anything like that. But, really, why is everybody getting so worked up about Michael Irvin getting caught with a little herb and a puffing instrument in his car? He’s not running the government or a company or an offense. He works for ESPN. I mean, is he suddenly going to be too whacked out to debate Mike Ditka?

8: Innocent or guilty? We may never know. But it’s pretty obvious the way it LOOKS. Which is why I would be stunned if Irvin still has a job with ESPN/ABC/Disney when this is all over.

7: OK, last note. Irvin says he’s clean and innocent. But he also wouldn’t commit to taking a drug test when asked by on-air buddy Dan Patrick, our nation’s conscience. So, is this the equivalent of “The Dog Ate My 12-Step Plan”?

6: Dick Pound of the World Anti-Doping Agency says one-third of NHL players may be on performance-enhancing drugs. I think there’s a better chance that Michael Irvin was smoking a mixture of thyme and oregano.

5: The Toronto Blue Jays just gave reliever B.J. Ryan a $47-million contract. I’m so glad baseball has rid itself of economic stupidity.

4: Most lucid individuals would blame general manager Matt Millen for the Detroit Lions’ problems before Steve Mariucci. That said, Mariucci has done little to show he has the makeup to be a head coach. He hardly ran a tight ship in San Francisco, either, and only the 49ers’ remaining talent in those years kept the team afloat. Like Mike Martz and Norv Turner, he may be more cut out to be an offensive coordinator.

3: The Falcons are 7-4. Simple math: They probably have to win at least three of five against Carolina (road), New Orleans, Chicago (road), Tampa Bay (road) and Carolina to make the playoffs. If it doesn’t come down to the last week, I’ll be stunned.

2: The Falcons’ DeAngelo Hall said, “How we play this week should define our season.” Let me just add that he better start worrying about what will define his career. Because for the most part, it hasn’t been coverage.

1: Anybody for an over/under on when the Hawks equal the Falcons’ win total? Last year, they almost didn’t make it (Falcons 11 wins, Hawks 13).

Permalink | Comments (9) | Categories: Jeff Schultz, Quick Hit

Comments

Commenting is now closed for this entry.

By Ryan

November 29, 2005 05:23 PM | Link to this

Irvin…

Dan Patrick should have asked him why he had to call a friend to bail him out of jail on Friday, since his wife was IN THE CAR WITH HIM AT THE TIME OF ARREST!!!

Why did SHE not bail him out?

Angry much?

By D-man

November 29, 2005 07:09 PM | Link to this

The Falcons will come out and beat the Panthers just like always. Looking forward to life at the TOP of the division..AGAIN.

By BillyBob

November 29, 2005 11:56 PM | Link to this

There is never any middle ground with Falcon fans is there? Good win at Detroit but it is only Detroit. The season starts this week, put everything else behind you. If we beat Carolina we’ve finally proven something. Be honest, all the NFC is fighting for is the opportunity to lose to Indy in the S Bowl. 10 & 6 and lose tight game in the 2nd round is what I would consider a good season. I rather not go to the S Bowl then go and lose again.

By Willy

November 30, 2005 02:05 AM | Link to this

No wonder your parents named you Billy Bob, and I’m guessing they aren’t too bright either. What kind of loser DOESN’T want to go to the superbowl. Probably no great underdog winners or teams that won on their 2nd try at it. If you don’t want your team to win go be a Hawks fan or something.

By V Avant

November 30, 2005 09:49 AM | Link to this

Why do the Hawks (especially Coach Woodson) always know what they should have done after the game is over? Maybe it would be better if they (Coach Woodson) tried it during the game. The Hawks have enough talent to be better than 2 and 11 right?

Later V Avant

P.S. I really do hope Michael Irvin knows something more than what he has said so far he’s getting trashed on sports talk radio.

By falcon guy

November 30, 2005 10:34 AM | Link to this

Okay, first of all the pipe in question was not a “hashpipe” it was a “crackpipe”. To conservatives neither are acceptable, and to the more liberal leaning there’s a huge distinction between maryjane and crack. So either way the “playmaker” is in trouble. To quote a local celebrity, “Crack is whack.”

Second of all, what’s with the dis of Deangelo Hall’s performance? Last time I checked Hall has 5 interceptions, the NFL leader has 7, and the Falcons are ranked 15th in the NFL in pass defense(not great but not terrible). Hall isn’t getting smoked or anything close to it. He held TO out of the end zone in game one for pete’s sake. If you’re going to make a general statement about a player’s lack of ability, how bout a little statistical backup next time?

Third of all, what a new concept? Winning down the stretch to get in the playoffs. I never would have thought of that. Hey genius, most of the teams trying to make the playoffs (save the Colts) need to win 3 of 5 to have a chance.

Man you really mailed it in this week.

By geechee

November 30, 2005 03:00 PM | Link to this

The countdown is looking up. Is #2 a pun?

Ryan if your post is correct that tells me more than everything I’ve read or heard.

falcon guy, do you makeup your own news or does it come fom the Enquirer? The exact quote from the arrest report is “multi-colored pipe w/ marijuana residue”. Once again as usual Mr. Schultz is correct.

By geechee

November 30, 2005 03:24 PM | Link to this

“If you’re going to make a general statement about a player’s lack of ability, how bout a little statistical backup next time?”

Click back for the news. This an opinion column.

By Mike

November 30, 2005 06:51 PM | Link to this

So I guess Toronto just got the most expensive B.J. ever.

 

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