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Friday, October 28, 2005
Weekend Predictions
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Let me just start by saying that anybody who still goes by the name of “Scooter” at the age of 55 deserves to be hit with a 22-page indictment.
Fortunately, here at the NFL subsidiary at Weekend Predictions, you need not be worried about the potential for mid-season interruptions from pesky federal prosecutors. All of our financial analysts are free of legal entanglements, and as far as we know nothing can actually be proven. Besides, what’s really illegal in the big picture? Because when there are only 10 commandments, there’s a lot of wiggle room. So. Nice tie. Have you lost weight?
We go into Week 8 with a slight profit margin (57-29 straight up, 45-39-2 against the line). Granted, that doesn’t compare with quarterly earnings of $10 billion like Exxon. But then I have a soul and wouldn’t release a statement that claims my money-grubbing oil company “acted responsibly in pricing.”
Do you smell brimstone?
The big game this week finds Denver hosting Terrell Owens and the less significant Eagles. T.O. has put his $4.4 million New Jersey home up for sale, but his spokesperson, Kim Etheredge, actually said this doesn’t mean Owens isn’t planning on returning to Philly next season.
“Fifteen thousand square feet is a lot for one person,” she told the Daily News.
And it wasn’t a lot a year ago?
I’m sorry. But did everybody forget to pack their conscience this week?
Back to the game …
4 BAGS
Eagles at Broncos: Give Owens credit for this. While everybody and their Labrador knows Philly isn’t running the ball enough, only Owens can step up and say the Eagles need to throw more. Never mind that he leads the league in receptions. Dolt. Denver covers 3 1/2.
3 BAGS
Bills at Patriots: Tedy Bruschi is set to return just eight months after a stroke that led most to believe he should retire, proving yet again that even great athletes and wonderful people can be prone to serious lapses of judgment. New England covers 9.
Chiefs at Chargers: When you have a talented and competitive but 3-4 team like San Diego, there is a point at which you ask, “What is the coach doing wrong.” Then again, it’s a position Marty Schottenheimer should be familiar with by now. Chargers win but take K.C. and 6.
Redskins at Giants: Washington’s Santana Moss — not T.O. or Randy Moss — might now be the best deep threat in football. It follows that he’s not on my Fantasy League team. Or the Falcons. Selah. Giants win and cover 2 1/2.
2 BAGS
Jags at Shams: It was a new low for St. Louis last week when team prez John Shaw refused to let a Rams security guy put through a phone call from coach Mike Martz to an assistant while Martz was home recovering from a heart problems. Classy. Jacksonville covers 3.
Bears at Lions: Talk about no escape. Detroit QB Joey Harrington lost his starting job to Jeff Garcia but kept up his commitment to speak at a middle school, only to have a sixth-grade girl ask: “Will you be with the Lions next year?” Ouch. Lions cover 3.
Raiders at Titans: Tennessee running back Travis Henry returns from a four-game suspension for substance abuse. One look around the locker room and he may check himself back in. Take Oakland, punt the 1 1/2.
Bucs at Phoney Niners: Somebody once told me statistics are like bikinis — it’s not what they show but what they hide. Tampa’s (5-1) first seven opponents, including today, are a combined 14-30 and none have a winning record. Not that it helps San Francisco. Bucs win but take Niners and 11.
Dolphins at La. (Or L.A.): The Saints play their first game in Louisiana since Katrina. The first 10,000 fans receive blowtorches and maps to Tom Benson’s luxury suite. New Orleans wins, covers 2 1/2.
Packers at Bengals: Brett Favre has lost two running back and three receiver to injuries, which basically means he’s going to be rely heavily on Max McGee and mother’s little helpers to pass John Elway on the all-time passing list. Cincy wins and covers 9.
Ravens at Steelers: Quoth Jamal Lewis: “I’m not the type that’s going to lay down. At the same time … you want to be careful for your own health because this is the last year on my deal.” So he’s stealing money. But one good felony deserves another. Pitt covers 10.
Cardinals at Cowboys: Drew Bledsoe has 10 straight TDs with no interceptions against Arizona. Other players have similar stats ending with the same words, “against Arizona.” Dallas covers 9.
Vikings at Panthers: Carolina coach John Fox went to a Rolling Stones concert to forget his troubles last week, only to see Mick Jagger move better than Stephen Davis. But if you try sometimes, you just might get what you need: Carolina cover 7 1/2.
GO EGG GAS STATIONS
Browns at Texans: Cleveland should be motivated as 2-point underdogs to an 0-6 team. But a motivated corpse is still a corpse. Houston wins — and covers 2 1/2!
PROGRESS REPORT
Straight up: 10-3 last week, 57-29 overall.
Against the line: 6-6-1 last week, 45-39-2 overall.
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This Floptober truly haunting for Braves
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Terence Moore
Instead of lions and tigers and bears, oh my, we’re talking about Leo and Jermaine and the White Sox, oh, no. Such are the horrors for those among the choppers and the chanters. Just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse after the Braves’ 18-inning meltdown in Houston for another October flop, it did.
The White Sox?
Oh, yes.
While the Braves have embarrassed themselves for a decade in search of a second world championship despite an unprecedented 14 straight division titles, the White Sox kept finding ways to win their first World Series in 88 years with the greatest of ease. That was opposed to the Braves struggling this month to keep from getting swept out of the division series by an inferior bunch of Astros.
If you’re counting, that’s five first-round collapses for the Braves in the last six years, including four straight.
In contrast, up popped the historically nothing White Sox, with a wacky manager, a tiny fan base and a roster dominated by guys not heading to the Hall of Fame anytime soon, and the White Sox still did what the Braves couldn’t do. You know, a Braves team with the esteemed Bobby Cox as manager, all of those choppers and chanters and potential Cooperstown folks, ranging from John Smoltz to both of the Joneses (Chipper and Andruw).
Worse for those choppers and chanters, this White Sox thing comes after the Red Sox won their first World Series in 86 years, and the Red Sox did so as a wild card. Speaking of wild cards, the Florida Marlins were such a thing when they preceded the Red Sox as world champions. The Anaheim Angels had the same distinction along the way to taking it all for the 2002 season.
So much for the Braves’ consistent goodness. What they lack is instant greatness in the postseason. They never have a Geoff Blum come out of nowhere for them. They always have a Jim Leyritz come out of nowhere against them. Plus, in all of those years that the Braves had Cy Smoltz, Cy Maddux, Cy Glavine and others, they never resembled the White Sox in the postseason by having its starting pitchers complete three consecutive games, let alone four in a row. None of those White Sox starters were as gifted as the Braves’ Cy guys, by the way. And while the White Sox had nearly every bounce and call go their way, the Braves usually are so demoralized by other stuff (lack of key hits, shoddy fielding, base running woes, sliders that don’t slide) that a bounce here or a call there usually doesn’t matter.
This should matter to the choppers and the chanters: The White Sox’s Jermaine Dye just became David Justice.
Let’s start with Justice, the leader of those Braves teams from the start of their current run in 1991 through the only World Series that he helped them capture four years later with a clutch home run. Even so, he was traded after the 1996 season, and he promptly spent the rest of his career evolving into the new Mr. October. Not only was Justice shipped away back then, but so was Dye, along with his wonderful promise. This is the same Dye who just was named the most valuable player of the World Series.
Oh, brother. What else would you expect for the choppers and the chanters whose October already was ruined by Braves officials long before Halloween? No way they should lose Leo Mazzone, only the greatest pitching coach in history. Yes, he’s going to the Baltimore Orioles to join manager Sam Perlozzo, his best friend. Yes, he is more than doubling the salary he had with the Braves. And, yes, according to Braves general manager John Schuerholz, he didn’t try to negotiate a new deal with Mazzone, because Schuerholz said Mazzone didn’t ask for one.
The thing is, whenever Mazzone spoke about the influence of Braves manager Bobby Cox on his life, his eyes thickened with moisture. He loved Cox, and he loved the Braves. If you’re running the Braves, you make Mazzone the strongest offer you can, and then you make him refuse it. The Braves didn’t do that.
Now Leo is gone, the White Sox are sitting on baseball’s throne, and Jermaine is wearing the crown.
Oh, well.
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