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Thursday, October 6, 2005
Friday Predictions: Take Doggies in Flawed Bowl
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
Before unveiling this week’s stone cold lox investment, we have HUGE news in the entertainment world — yes, even bigger than the shocker that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are going to have a baby (human!), which hopefully will happen on a school holiday so Katie won’t have to make up algebra homework.
Hollywood Records announced this week that the Lennon-McCartney from Hades, Donald Trump and Regis Philbin, recorded their rendition of “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” on the new “Regis Philbin Christmas Album.” You’ll find at the $1 store, right next to the Hawks’ centers.
The album must be really good, because Trump said this week, “It’s really good. So you have to go out and get it.”
I bring this up for two reasons: 1) I’m so tired of breaking down coverages and blocking techniques. (Pause for effect.) 2) It’s Tennessee week, and I didn’t want you to be too surprised if Big Pumpkin Entertainment this week releases, “Phil Fulmer and Jabba The Hut Perform Couples Yoga.”
Georgia-Tennessee might be about that pretty Saturday.
Your little Doggies are 4-0, give or take a lottery ticket. The schedule so far: Boise State-South Carolina-Louisiana Monroe-Mississippi State. Add SPF 45 and a pina colada and you’ve got a Club Med.
Georgia’s offense generally has functioned as well as Fulmer attempting a toe touch (sorry for that visual before breakfast). They made the Gamecocks look almost Division I-like. The Vowels (3-1) lost to Florida, didn’t look particularly impressive against UAB or Mississippi and made the incredible escape in Baton Rouge.
But a few things may tip the Flawed Bowl. Tennessee is beat up and playing its third game in 13 days. Quarterback Rick Clausen has worn a walking boot all week to protect his strained Achilles, and has dislocated fingers, a sore elbow and a bruised shoulder.
That’s enough.
Take the three, but Doggies win a straight upset.
Value Menu
(Add fries, a drink and a playoff relief appearance for the Braves for 99 cents)
• Missy State at Florida: Drank the Kool-Aid in Gainesville, I guess right before Urban Meyer chugged a Zook smoothie. The Gators failed to score a touchdown last game for the first time since 1992. Now Meyer is starting to wonder if opponents are stealing their signals. Dude. What’s to steal? Florida wins but covering 28 is asking too much.
• Kentucky at Carolin: Since playing the role of headlights to Georgia’s deer eyes, Steve Spurrier has lost two SEC games by a combined 85-21. But you’ve gotta like a guy who can be both humbled and biting at the same time. We quote: “[Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville] used to say, ‘We don’t have the players that Florida’s got.’ … I’m not going to say that.” Fortunately, no excuses are necessary when you play Kenyucky. Roosters cover 13.
• LSU at Vanderbilt: Commies start 4-0, make everybody’s they’re-so-cute list, then blow a game to a 16-point underdog (Middle Tennessee). It was like watching Wile E. Coyote taking that first step off the cliff. (Poof.) LSU covers 15.
• Oklahoma at Texas: In Mack Brown’s last five meetings with Oklahoma, he went 0-5, got shut out once, allowed over 60 points twice and was outscored 189-54. Cyanide would’ve been a lot quicker. Texas wins but take the Okie and the 13 1/2.
• Duke at Miami: Duke is missing a bunch of guys because of injuries. I’m going to let you decide whether that’s bad news. The line is 35. That’s points, not lost organs. It’s covered.
ALMOST PERFECT
•Straight up: 4-2 last week, 25-7 overall.
• Spreadables: 3-3 last week, 17-15 overall.
• Rock-paper-scissors: 12-2.
• Special commendation: To fans from the Tuscaloosa Correctional Institute, who sent one e-mail before the Florida game but several forms of correspondence after it, some even not in crayon.
Permalink | Comments (27) | Categories: Jeff Schultz, Tech / ACC, UGA / SEC
The Cox Bloop Index
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mark Bradley
Readers of this space — both the print and cyber side of it — know that I yield to no one in my admiration for Bobby Cox. He’s a great manager. (And no, it wasn’t his fault the Braves lost Game 1 and looked lousy doing it — a manager can’t throw the ball for his starting pitcher.) But there’s one thing Cox does consistently that rankles me without fail, and he did it again Wednesday.
He invoked the Cox Bloop Index.
Those who’ve been paying attention know that, according to the Braves, there are two classes of opponents’ hits — there are the well-struck screamers (example: Andy Pettitte’s double over Brian Jordan’s head) and then there are the ones that the opposition, were it any kind of sport, would simply refuse to accept. These are the bloopers, the bleeders, the seeing-eye grounders. When the other side strings two of these together, Cox wrinkles up his nose and acts as if he has been personally offended.
Yes, this is one way of protecting his pitcher — witness Cox’s bizarre claim that Chris Reitsma, who retired one batter (and that on a sacrifice bunt) and was charged with four earned runs, had actually thrown with the mastery of Mariano Rivera — but it’s a tactic guaranteed to diminish the opponent’s achievement.
In 1992, Cox waved off a first-inning grand slam by Cincinnati’s Glenn Braggs off Steve Avery by pronouncing the rally, “Three bloops and a blast.”
Pitchers surely appreciate this, but to me it always sounds disingenuous at best and condescending at worst. Isn’t there something to be said for simply putting the ball in play, hitting ‘em where they ain’t? And are we to believe that the Braves, in their entire history, have never once benefited from such well-placed knocks?
Someone remind me: Was Francisco Cabrera’s winning hit in Game 7 in 1992 a ringing smash over the distant wall, or was it a simple single between Jeff King and Jay Bell?
Permalink | Comments (55) | Categories: Mark Bradley, Quick Hit
