AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2005 > October > 01 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USNFL Predictions: Thunder heads knuckle under
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
It was 85 years ago Monday when the American Professional Football Association (APFA), the predecessor to the NFL, played its first full week of games.
Perhaps most noteworthy was the Canton Bulldogs’ 48-0 victory over the Pitcairn Quakers, for it reaffirmed two things: 1. The importance of having a player-coach named Jim Thorpe (Canton). 2. The danger of having a football team named the Quakers (stupid, stupid, stupid).
Minnesota didn’t make the same mistake. It named its football team the Vikings after the tough men of Thor, the Norse god of thunder. Unfortunately, as we know from Scandinavian history, the Norse empire eventually fell apart shortly after Thor was caught with a Whizzinator just following a plundering.
Which brings me to today’s game at the Georgia Dome: The Falcons against the Knuckleheads of Thor. I don’t have the space to run down every goofy thing this franchise has done. So let’s limit this to recent history: Everything stupid associated with Randy Moss, the only occasionally lucid Onterrio Smith packing a Whizzinator in the airport, replacing Moss’ spot on the roster with noted boozer Koren Robinson.
Only this week, two starting offensive linemen, Bryant McKinnie and Marcus Johnson, got into trouble at a gas station (don’t ask). Quoth their teammate and defense attorney Fred Smoot to a Minneapolis paper: “I hate when people try to make football players Superman. … You’re still human. You ain’t got a lot of church rats running around in here.”
Oy.
Norsemen rank 30th against the run. The Falcons are No. 1 on the run.
Cover your eyes, Thor. Falcons cover six.
Permalink | Comments (4) | Categories: Falcons / NFL, Jeff Schultz
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By D-man
October 1, 2005 11:52 PM | Link to this
run, run DVD, run…ah yes…and I can’t wait to see Smith, “The Beast” Coleman, and Kerney kick some of that Dante butt..it’s gonna be a fun game..and perhaps Vick will reprise his greatest run ever - a couple of years ago against, yep..you guessed it, the Vikings defense. All and all, I predict the Falcons win big 27-10.
By Eli
October 2, 2005 12:59 PM | Link to this
One pick? One lousy pick, and a homer pick at that? C’mon, Jeff…you gotta submit the whole column one of these days!
By falcon guy
October 3, 2005 03:32 PM | Link to this
I agree pretty weak, one pick. You could have at least weighed in on el futbol americano in Mexico City. Mexicans must think we hate them, because we offer them an NFL game and send them the Pajaros Rojos and the Cuarenta Nueve-ers instead. That had to be the worst football game I’ve ever watched 1.5 quarters of. A shame too, cause the ESPN sunday night game is my favorite broadcast. It’s in HD and has the best announcing team. Not much good I can say except the landscaping of the field was the best I’ve ever seen. Go figure right?
By paul
October 3, 2005 08:37 PM | Link to this
Hey Schultz, nice pick in the Bama-Gator game. Putz.