AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2005 > September > 27 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USThe Tuesday Countdown
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
10: OK, so Ashton Kutcher is 27 and Demi Moore is 42. That basically means that by the time he’s 35, no amount of surgery she gets will make a difference.
9: Item: The baseball players union has offered to increase its penalty for first-time steroid users to 20 games. Comment: It’s still a joke. Is there any reason why any athlete taking performance-enhancing drugs should be shown any leniency?
8: Seriously, we’ve had drug scandals, threats, promises, congressional testimony, more threats, more promises. Why after all this should anybody think, “Wow! Twenty games! What a concession!�
7: The answer to your next question: First offense: 50 games. Second offense: One year. Third offense: Bye-bye.
6: Gov. Knucklehead has canceled school for the first two weeks of October. Threat of rain.
5: Item: New England tackle Matt Light lays on the field with a serious leg injury, but coach Bill Belichick shoos Pittsburgh trainer John Norwig away when he offers medical assistance. Comment: There’s NFL paranoia and then there’s taking things overboard. Billy, you think the other team’s trainer is going to give Light an injection of truth serum and make him spill his guts on blocking schemes?
4: Martha Burk: Get a job.
3: It’s one thing to pressure Augusta National to have a women member. It’s a private club but hosts a very public golf tournament with PGA golfers and TV dollars, advertising, etc., etc. But to make a stink because the NHL’s TV commercials are too racy?
2: Yo, Martha. You really want to make this an issue? Start with the NFL. Every team’s website has a link to soft-porn cheerleader pages. But in the big picture, I mean, who freakin’ cares? This isn’t about women’s rights or equality.
1: By the way, that girl in the commercial may be as close to playing an NHL game as Ilya Kovalchuk.
Permalink | Comments (12) | Categories: Jeff Schultz, Quick Hit
Comments
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By Carl
September 27, 2005 04:49 PM | Link to this
Gov. Knucklehead???? Come on Jeff, give my boy Sonny a break!
And I don’t care how old Demi is, she could eat crackers in my bed any day!
By geechee
September 27, 2005 08:12 PM | Link to this
6)Now that you mention it, he does look like Curly. Easy Jeff, remember he’s a Republican. The party that pioneered such useful instruments of good government as red-baiting and the enemies list.
7.6)So what about Bonds? They are going to need to come up with a special suspension for him. Fakes a year long injury because he knows his ‘roids test would have been off the scale, gets paid for not playing and still we had to listen to his gibberish all summer.
2)You are quite correct. It’s not about womens rights at all, it’s about the inalienable right of men to live our lives as nature intended, as deviates.
By geechee
September 27, 2005 08:25 PM | Link to this
Sorry Jeff, I had a question also that I forgot to ask. If I’m not mistaken, wasn’t it a situation just as you mentioned in #10 that led to the invention of beer?
By Matthew
September 28, 2005 09:03 AM | Link to this
How is “red-bating” any worse than the favorite tactics of the socialist-dems:
race-bating and the ever-popular with the socialists: class envy
All of these tactics prey upon the worst in us all.
How about you just let go of your ideology, geechee, and quit being a sheep.
A politically ideologically free life is a sweet, sweet life dictated by conscience. Not by following an outmoded political ideology, and voting for men and women you wouldn’t invite to dinner just because they’re in your “party.”
That is the way the founding fathers wanted it.
Stop being a sheep.
By Jeff Schultz
September 28, 2005 10:50 AM | Link to this
Geechee … Right you are. Reminds me of the line that any late-night bar sitter will relate to: “A “2” at 10 is a “10” at 2.”
By geechee
September 28, 2005 12:10 PM | Link to this
Matthew, it was humor nothing more. The guy does look like Curly. I’m sure he has learned to laugh at himself as we all have. This is the sports page not op/ed. You don’t have to read something into everything. Even Nixon appeared on laugh in. Ford invited Chevy Chase to spend a weekend at the White House. Clinton knows he’s Bubba and I heard that Zell named himself Zig Zag (not really). No matter what they say, everything is not political or at least it shouldn’t be. The world is getting a little too PC. It is kinda sad when you think Mel Brooks could not even make “Blazing Saddles” today.
On a lighter note, it is interesting that you do happen to approve of red-baiting. Just joking Matthew, just joking.
By Braves fan
September 28, 2005 12:58 PM | Link to this
Welcome to Rockridge!!! Somebody needs to do a #7 on Matthew. That’s where you go a ridin’ into town a whoppin everything that moves. Ahh, Mel Brooks where have you gone? Camp town races sing this song, du da, du da…
Have you seen Demi Moore? Sorry Jeff, but I bet at 50, Demi will still look better than anyone you have ever, or will ever be with. (Unless you go to Vegas. And what happens in Vegas….is illegal everywhere else.)
By no means am I a Barry Bonds defender, but just because he was on the DL for 90% of this season, did not mean he hasn’t been subject to steroid testing. He’s been tested at least 3 times from what I’ve heard on ESPN. So if he was using, he stopped in enough time to test clear, unless MLB has held back on the results for some reason.
What is this NHL you speak of? Does that stand for National Homemakers League?
Jeff, saw your mug on the Turner South broadcast during the celebration. Get any on ya? Is it true that the Atlanta P.D. is going to investigate allegations that Paris Hilton gave alcohol to some of the Braves minors?
By Braves fan
September 28, 2005 01:15 PM | Link to this
Jeff Schultz and Tony Kornheiser, separated at birth. Think about it.
By geechee
September 28, 2005 02:58 PM | Link to this
Braves Fan what about comparing the Pittsburgh Bonds physically to the one of the past few years. Is that just normal bulk from diet and gym work?
Most guys I know that started pumping iron and bulked up started looking like their head was shrinking a bit relative to how much bulk they added. Barry’s head grew a couple of hat sizes which doesn’t just happen.
He’s already told us he is going to change a lot of things in the off season and will lose 28 lbs by next season. Why does he need to and why would he anyway if it’s the bulk that has accounted for the surge in HR and he’s chasing the Hammer’s record? He’s got no choice that weight is going to fall off so he has to prepare us for it.
That 73 HR’s is just a little too much to believe. Career years are more like what Dru is having not that plus another 20 beyond that. The guy is a pro athlete who has put himself on all these different diets and handed out that body as temple BS why would he hang with the Balco boys and risk the guilt by association thing if he was totally against it.
After denying it for years there was the old unknowingly administered by a trainer routine when he had to testify before the grand jury. You do not lie to a federal grand jury. If they can prove it, you win the Martha Stewart vacation.
But without most of this it stills goes back to his head with me. Heads don’t just do that do they without brain cancer or something do they? And he went from a few more than Andruw to Mark McGuire numbers. We’re talking the juiced McGuire numbers also. It’s never happened has it? Braves Fan, of all the players with question marks. He is by far the most obvious. Especially that damn head.
By Mike Davis
September 28, 2005 03:22 PM | Link to this
This will be a nightmare!
To further enhance fan safety, all fans entering the Georgia Dome to attend Falcons games beginning this Sunday, October 2, will be subject to pat-downs and hand searches.
Gates to the Georgia Dome will open two hours and fifteen minutes before game-day kickoffs. Fans are encouraged to arrive early to help facilitate the additional security measures, and should expect to be patted down by security personnel before going through stadium gates.
Pat downs of fans entering NFL stadiums have taken place on a frequent basis in recent years. Following a discussion at a recent league meeting, Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and the NFL clubs determined that these hand searches should be a required element of stadium security procedures at all NFL games.
“This new requirement is not a result of any specific threat information,” said Commissioner Tagliabue. çš„t is in recognition of the significant additional security that ‘pat downs’ offer, as well as the favorable experience that other clubs and fans have had using ‘pat downs’ as part of a comprehensive stadium security plan.”
Several NFL teams successfully used pat downs as part of stadium security procedures last season. Hand searches of all fans entering stadiums also were employed during all NFL playoff games last season. Pat downs at stadium gates have been part of the Super Bowl security plan since 2002.
Fans are also reminded of the following stadium policies: Coolers, bags, backpacks, and large purses (larger than 8 ï½½ x 11) will not be allowed inside the Georgia Dome. Small purses, fanny backs, small camera cases, binocular cases, and diaper bags are all subject to inspection by stadium security personnel or law enforcement officers. All bags that do not pass security must be returned to vehicles.
For all Georgia Dome game day policies, visit: www.atlantafalcons.com/dome/
Thanks for your understanding, and we’ll see you at the Dome!
By Mike Davis
September 28, 2005 03:24 PM | Link to this
To further enhance fan safety, all fans entering the Georgia Dome to attend Falcons games beginning this Sunday, October 2, will be subject to pat-downs and hand searches.
Gates to the Georgia Dome will open two hours and fifteen minutes before game-day kickoffs. Fans are encouraged to arrive early to help facilitate the additional security measures, and should expect to be patted down by security personnel before going through stadium gates.
Pat downs of fans entering NFL stadiums have taken place on a frequent basis in recent years. Following a discussion at a recent league meeting, Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and the NFL clubs determined that these hand searches should be a required element of stadium security procedures at all NFL games.
“This new requirement is not a result of any specific threat information,” said Commissioner Tagliabue. çš„t is in recognition of the significant additional security that ‘pat downs’ offer, as well as the favorable experience that other clubs and fans have had using ‘pat downs’ as part of a comprehensive stadium security plan.”
Several NFL teams successfully used pat downs as part of stadium security procedures last season. Hand searches of all fans entering stadiums also were employed during all NFL playoff games last season. Pat downs at stadium gates have been part of the Super Bowl security plan since 2002.
Fans are also reminded of the following stadium policies: Coolers, bags, backpacks, and large purses (larger than 8 ï½½ x 11) will not be allowed inside the Georgia Dome. Small purses, fanny backs, small camera cases, binocular cases, and diaper bags are all subject to inspection by stadium security personnel or law enforcement officers. All bags that do not pass security must be returned to vehicles.
For all Georgia Dome game day policies, visit: www.atlantafalcons.com/dome/
Thanks for your understanding, and we’ll see you at the Dome!
By geechee
September 28, 2005 03:54 PM | Link to this
Now that is a post you don’t see everyday. That sure ain’t normal. Can’t see them patting people down on general principle if there is no specific threat. I can’t see Blank permitting it unless they were a little more specific than they are letting on. Just how specific are they talking about? If they don’t have names is that nonspecific? My wild guess is it has to do with gangs from N O moving there base to the ATL. If it is, the Governor needs to be getting some federal money because it would definitely be hurricane related.